Out in Black

Learning Game: Reports from the Field

Author: davai (Page 2 of 33)

Defying Expectations on a Friday

I’ve been on a streak of awesome for a month or two and I keep waiting to have a shitty night. Thought it would be last night but it didn’t turn out like that. Instead, I ended up having a blast, making out with two different girls and feeling like a king. Was out with the whole entourage. We tore up Meatpacking, approached everything in sight and made a solid run of it.

Notes

*The first girl I made out with was pretty uninspiring but she was really into me. I was down to pull her and took steps to make that happen. Unfortunately she was with a friend who was staying at her apartment and they also had to drop another guy off at the train station. I tried to bounce them to another club, my girl was down but the friend vetoed. By this point I was in it for 30 minutes and decided to try other things. Got this girl’s number, walked 15 feet away, bumped into a cute blonde girl and we started making out within twenty seconds. Fastest I’ve ever gone from makeout to makeout in my life. That was pretty cool. This second girl was just leaving with all her friends. In retrospect I should have made myself part of the group and gone with.

*Pickup is about 1,000% easier than it used to be. I feel good when I go out, I have fun, approaching is easy. My mental state is on fucking point 95% of the time. I think that if I had good logistics and was going out 6 nights a week I could be pulling once a week at this point.

*Having a plan for how you pull is fucking crucial. I love how my one buddy does it. He has a bar right by his house, invites the girl to hop in a taxi and go get a drink with him there. They pull up in front of the bar, he says he just has to use the bathroom real quick and pulls the girl to his place. The rest is easy. It’s so fucking simple, so beautiful. For me I have no logistics so I’m asking girls what their favorite bar is by their house, remembering that name and then later in the interaction I suggest we go grab a drink there. Hasn’t worked yet but I have faith.

*I suspect that a big part of sleeping with more attractive women is going to be stepping up hard. Doing really solid approaches that will set me apart from 97% of other guys who are bugging out when they approach a hottie. That being said, I’m still not fully onboard with pulling super attractive women. I have some weird mental blocks in my head. I see a hot woman and it’s like my brain shuts down. It’s really annoying but I’m putting faith in the process, trusting that I will overcome this in time.

Haha I may have told her that I’m a prostitute…

*That girl from Saturday texted me last night. Fairly suggestive text and I ignored the hell out of it. When I left her that night she was giving me all sorts of shit. After a while I got fed up with it and said,

Are you sure you don’t want to come with me, this is your last chance..”

She was taken aback because she was the one denying me. She said no. I said goodbye and I have no intention of ever seeing her again, slutty text or not.

*Last night on the way home I caught a handful of girls making extended eye contact with me. I don’t know how the fuck girls are able to tell so quickly when you’re really in the zone or not. On a regular day I still feel good and have good posture but they’re not fooled. It’s only after a night of carnage that I get eye fucked.

*Saw John Mayer last night. Tremendous haircut, that man has.

Cold Night Walking around LES

Found one set tonight. Talked to her for ten minutes, left. Walked all over LES but couldn’t find anything else. I’m really not going to miss NYC in the winter. Nightlife diminishes to almost nothing during the weeknights.

I have a theory about what it takes to get good, more time spent talking to girls. As long as you have a basic grasp of the direction you’re heading in and have a decent understanding of the fundamentals of pickup, I think that time spent talking to girls determines 80% of how successful you are.

Perhaps, and I’m less certain of this theory than the other one, the remaining 20% of your success depends on your existing beliefs. For example, before I got into pickup I spent six years telling myself that I’m bad with girls. That was my reality. To become better I’ve had to overwrite it with something better, I’m awesome and girls love me. This has probably made my pickup journey somewhat longer. An average guy who has average beliefs, I’m cool, some girls like me, I’m a good prospect, may make faster progress because he doesn’t have to unwind years of shitty beliefs. This is just a thought though, I’m not convinced I have it right.

Stupid Bullshit on a Saturday

Last night was annoying. I met up with this girl that I knew from my friend’s Halloween party. We made out at the party but last night she wouldn’t even kiss me. We danced, talked and it was sort of fun. Mostly though I was pissed. Every time I took action to make shit happen she would back off and take this fucking moral high ground. Like I’m not that type of girl, sex is dirty, aren’t you ashamed of yourself for indulging in that kind of thinking?

So fucking frustrating. None the less, I took it as a challenge. How much can I make happen, how well I can maintain my awesomeness even in the face of so much bullshit? I asked her to bounce to another bar with me. She refused. Change plans, let’s go get pizza. She agrees. By the time we’re done eating her overprotective friends have called her four times. What a fucking turnoff, I love independent people who do what they want. I seed the pull by asking to see her goldfish. I get her walking to the subway with me. I get her down into the station. She refuses to go any further. I say,

Come on. We just need to practice swiping our cards. Let’s go.”

But that’s the furthest she goes. Still refuses to kiss me. I say,

Are you sure, this is your last chance.”

She looks at me funny. I say OK, walk away, the night is over. She texts me later, ignored. Done. The whole experience was fucking annoying. I feel like I wasted a Saturday night.

Notes

*Didn’t totally waste the night. I practiced leading and got a girl to follow me who was giving me nothing but shit. That shows that girls words and actions are often very different. Well, we all know that. It reaffirms it.

*I’m keen on figuring out how the fuck I can avoid ever being in this situation again. It’s a bit tricky right, because sometimes a girl can be cold and giving you shit in the beginning but over time you warm her up and end up pulling. Or, maybe she never warms up and the whole experience is bullshit. I hope that this “date” taught me some of the signs of it’s never going to happen.

*This whole week I was really good about leading and getting girls out of the bar. Tuesday I got a girl out on the sidewalk and pushed hard for the close, Friday I bounced a girl to a new bar and probably would have pulled if the friend had left, last night I got an annoying and reluctant girl to the subway station.

Open Everything on a Friday

Friday night in New York, people everywhere. Get denied from a bar because I have a penis. Make accusations of sexism, vow to never return. Go to a different bar that turns out to be better anyways. Open, open, open. Wingman shows up but he’s not in a good state. Refuses to approach, bitches out and goes home. Not cool you English tea drinker, you’ve got some work to do.

Alone, I open, open, open. Another wingman shows up. He’s on fire, pulling every week, putting the rest of us to shame. We open, open, open. I see this cute little Asian girl and it’s so obvious that her buying temperature is plus 100. She’s too short to kiss without some awkwardness. I pick her up, bring her face to mine, we make out. That’s a first, have to remember to do it again. I pull her outside. We makeout but it’s cold. She’s shivering. I hug her. Another girl joins the hug. Then her friend. Three of us hugging this tiny little girl.

At this point I’m owning. If I had logistics I would have thrown this Asian girl into the first taxi I saw and pulled her to mine. I would have had to deal with numerous objections but it would have been fine. Unfortunately, no logistics. We makeout one last time, I get her number then release her back into the wild.

More opening till I find Lea. Super cute, great hair, fun personality. Stay with her an hour. Pull her and her friend to another bar. Friend is not having fun, I’m praying that she’ll leave me and Lea alone. This is a solid pull if only the friend leaves. Naturally, friend does not leave. Instead, insists Lea take her home. I say,

Ok, well let’s grab an Uber, take her home then check out a bar on the Upper East Side.”

Lea says no, says she’s staying that night with her friend who is new to the city. She asks me for my number, says she’d like to hang out again. I give it to her, we have a goodbye-makeout then off she goes. I open a few more sets, few more girls on the sidewalk, nothing special. Go home and get 4 hours of sleep before work.

The Breakdown

*I’m happy with how I handled the night. With Lea, my most promising set, I’m honestly not sure what I would change. Without a wingman to handle the friend I’m in a tight spot. As much as I’d love to, I can’t just tell the friend to go home. I was really counting on her just getting bored and leaving, but that didn’t happen. Anyone have ideas about what to do here?

*Last night, for a few minutes, was perhaps the most in state I’ve ever been. It felt like cocaine without the cocaine. I was standing in the center of an aggressively loud bar, walled in by people, feeling beautifully relaxed and natural. It was really spectacular, it even lead to some girls opening me. Something that hasn’t happened to me in months. While this state is great, I’m coming to depend on it less and less. Regardless of how I feel I can hammer out my approaches and make shit happen.

*My outings are taking on a new level. I’m routinely making out with two women a night and it seems obvious that soon I’ll make out with three, something I’ve never done before. Pickup is glorious, there’s nothing else to say.

*As fucking solid as my set with Lea was, and even though she said she’d really like to see me and asked me for my number, I know that there’s a not-so-low chance I’ll never see her again. It boggles my mind. What the hell are these girls looking for? Does she really meet a guy as cool as me, who she has so much in common with, every weekend? Does hypergamy really just not give a shit, it’s the best or nothing? Game is sort of ruthless. I’m willing to accept that though, I’m learning what the reality actually is and figuring out how to win. That being said, I’d be really cool to hook up with Lea.

Half a Dozen in Meatpacking

Out with the whole crew last night. Unfortunately not enough sets to keep us busy. Having four guys on a weekend is awesome but on a Wednesday night it’s maybe not the best. We went to my favorite club and found two more guys who I used to go out with a lot. They joined the group and it ended up being six of us, heading to a bar that didn’t have enough sets for two. Still, a fun night, I enjoy hanging out with everyone.

I talked to an English woman for a few minutes and it was borderline. I sort of felt like I deserved her and sort of didn’t. She was awfully cute, smart and a manager of her group of people. After 5 minutes she decided to leave me but she was hesitant. I could see that she wasn’t sure whether to stay or go. It was a perfect reflection of my own thinking, me not being 100% sure about whether I deserved her. In retrospect, I would hold her for longer, quash objections about wanting to get back to the friends, take her to a corner where her coworkers couldn’t see us and go for the makeout.

That was honestly the only memorable set of the night. Mostly just chatted with the guys. I texted the girl from last night but she didn’t reply. I blame myself, I asked her,

Hey, how was work today?

The thing about this text is that it’s fucking boring and makes me look like every other chode in existence. It does nothing to reinforce the idea that I’m the cool guy that she’s been looking for. So I’m going to strike this text from the face of the planet and only do more interesting follow up texts.

In other news, still talking to the girl I made out with at the Halloween party and she says she’s down to get a drink this weekend. We have a solid vibe and I think there’s a good chance I can pull her. We’ll see what happens.

Have Your Best Night by Annihilating Negative Thinking

If you’re like me, when you’re in the club your brain loves to make horrible suggestions..

You’re not good enough for her.

What you’re saying is boring and she doesn’t care.

You’re tired, just go home.

You’re not going to pull her, why even try.

You’re not awesome, don’t even bother.

The problem with this horrendous bullshit is that it’s a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you feed into these thoughts they grow and become reality. Then you’re done. Maybe you ruin that set, maybe you ruin the night. You slip into a downwards spiral and it’s awfully tough to climb back out.

However….

This doesn’t have to happen. If you can annihilate these thoughts early you can keep your awesome vibe going. It’s pretty easy to do. As soon as you notice the first hint of a negative thought weaseling in, cut it! Say no, fuck that. I’m awesome, girls love. My night is going great, I’m fucking amazing.

And then you make that your reality. Let that simmer and grow into something, instead of watering the shitty thoughts. Reality is subjective, there really isn’t some “truth” that is valid. You can shape the moment into whatever the fuck you want it to be, so shape it into something beautiful.

Making out with Girls on Halloween

Had a blast last night, I don’t think two and a half hours has ever gone so fast. I got to the bar alone and opened a few sets. I was talking to this cute girl when my wingman showed up. Said hi to him, kept talking to the girl. After a while me and cute girl started making out. I suggested we go outside, she followed. I suggested we walk around the block, she followed. Earlier I had asked her what her favorite bar by her house is, she told me. I suggested we grab an Uber and go for a drink there. She liked me but she had to work. I was persistent but it wasn’t happening. Got her number, set up a date for Saturday, in Williamsburg, close to her place. We’ll see what happens.

Met up with my wingman again, we opened a bunch of sets. I ended up on the dance floor, a girl bumped into me and we started dancing. I started kissing her neck and ear. Then she spun around and we started making out. Craziest shit, we spent ten minutes together and never said a word. Just danced. I felt like a king, just having amazing fun, girls feeling that and being drawn in. I loved it! The girl ended up walking away which was no biggie. Although… I should be aware that having unending fun is great, but actually talking to the girl is necessary haha.

I opened a stunning woman on the street and she responded well. I was instantly in my head though, it was super funny.

Me: “Hey, hows your night going!?”

Her: “Great, how about yours?”

Fucking amazing. I love Halloween, so many people being crazy.”

Yeah, it’s pretty fun.”

So, hows your night…” Fuck me, I just asked her that. I walk away…

Funny shit. Next time I’ll do better though. Hot girls are just girls. It’s the same stuff, be outgoing, be confident, be present and having fun. A girl responds to this whether she’s amazing or less than perfect.

Notes

*I’m fucking amazing, girls love me.

Halloween House Party

My wingman threw a Halloween party last night, I didn’t dress up. Felt self conscious for a while but got into it and had a blast. By the end we had approached every girl there. One of my other wingmen pulled his first set. He’s an animal and his vibe is amazing. I kissed 4 or 5 girls, which is a new record.

Girls respond better when it’s a social circle situation, versus cold approach

What surprised me is that there was little reciprocation. I only made out with one girl. The other ones I would kiss and they’d like it but never got into it. .

Overall the night was solid. I got to see the potential of having a big social circle and a cool apartment. I collected a few numbers and they hit me back. There is definitely a difference between cold approach and talking to a girl at a massive party when you know the guy who lives there.

Finally, I think I underestimated how shitty it would be to have no logistics. If I had a place to pull to I think I could have made something happen last night. I’ve got the game, I’ve got the experience, I don’t don’t have the convenient bed..

French Girls on a Wednesday

Two and a half hours went quick last night. Hit up a few different bars, talked to a few different women. Longest set was a couple of French girls sitting down. Mine turned out to be an all around impressive human being. She drove a motorcycle through rural Cambodia. That’s hardcore, I’d love to do this but I even have my reservations, it’s not a journey you do lightly. So I was impressed. She told me that she does some modelling and acting to. I could see that, she was 30 and rather beautiful, she must have been really something at 20.

This interaction went well because she contributed. I don’t really like to talk about frames and power in an interaction, it’s sort of creepy. But still, I fell into her frame and instead of dismissing me we kept talking. She was a nice human being. My buddy invited them both to his party this Saturday, we’ll see what happens.

Right now I’m in a really fucking weird place with pickup. I’m having the most fun I’ve ever had. That horrible underlying current of anxiety is 99.3% gone and I’m enjoying every night. I’m even looking forward to getting to the club. Getting stressed out all day long about going out later used to be the worst part of pickup, thank god that’s over with. So things are good but I also feel like I’m fucking completely fucking lost. I’m getting into these long interactions every night and I’m not taking them anyplace. I’m questioning why they’re even taking place if I’m not making anything happen.

Part of the problem is that I have zero logistics, unless a girl is uncontrollably obsessed with me, she’s not going for a 70 minute train ride. So when I go into that interaction I don’t have that clear goal of what I’m trying to do, I.e. get her back to my bedroom. Obviously I can pull to hers but I feel like this gives me less power. It’s harder for me to push hard to go to her place, it doesn’t feel as natural as magnetizing her to mine. It is possible though..

Another problem, I’m not taking risks the way I need to be. I’m going out with a group of cool guys which is fantastic, but it’s caused me to put some limits on what I do. I’d rather play it safe and give the appearance of being competent than take a risk, lead her, go for the pull, and fuck it up. This is especially prevalent in my thinking because my wingman is usually in set with me and if I fuck it up I end it for him to. However… I’m not going to get better if I keep doing the same shit over and over! I must condition myself to take that risk and not worry about looking stupid in front of my wingmen.

Final issue, I’m waiting for perfection before I go for the pull. I’m falling into the trap of thinking that I need to have unbelievable attraction before I can lead her home. Well no, I don’t really. I’ve pulled plenty of times when things were good, not great, and I have to remember that.

Inner Dialogue

The guys I go out with are awesome at maintaining their frames and speaking with confidence throughout an interaction. I’m good initially but I often feel like I lose steam around 10 to 15 minutes. I start to doubt my words and the whole thing goes down hill. Not always, but enough that it’s an obvious sticking point.

In addressing this problem I came to a realization last night. When I hit that wall, say at 10 minutes, I start looking for reasons that she’s no longer interested and I also start questioning myself. My inner dialogue is that was kind of lame, what you said. Do you really believe that? No! Fuck that shit. As soon as I catch myself slipping into that mental loop I can stop it and just remind myself that I’m awesome. Remind myself that girls love, this girl loves me and she wants me to talk to her. Tune my RAS into all the reasons she wants me there. I believe that with conscious effort I can overcome this.

Tl;Dr

Can’t worry about what wingmen think, must be OK with taking the risk and potentially fucking up. Must not succumb to negative bullshit in set.

The Entourage Hits up East Village

It was the entire entourage plus a new guy, so five of us in total. We started at a new bar which was good, we found a few sets. Walked to another bar, shit. So we went to 13 Step. Within 10 minutes we had canvased the place, there wasn’t a girl who didn’t get hit on. I opened multiple sets, gave high fives, had a blast. It’s easy to have fun when your entire social circle is in one place.

Two guys left, leaving me and two others. We decided to check out a speakeasy. It was really fucking cool, no doubt. They give you a table, you have a waitress, but it’s not for us. We immediately leave and call it a night. It was a blast overall. Talking to all the guys, hitting on everything, I opened some models on the street who flat out ignored my existence. A good night.

The Game Aspect

A year ago me and my wingman used to joke around. When a girl insta-rejected one of us, we’d say that she didn’t know what she’s missing or she just can’t tell how cool we are. It was funny but it was a mask and we both knew it. We didn’t really feel like cool guys, we expected to get rejected. When a set went well and hooked, it was an interesting exception. Now, today, tonight, this moment, the opposite is true. I walk up and fully expect that girl to like me and engage in a conversation. 94% of the time that’s what happens, it’s weird to get an insta-rejection.

It’s great to operate on this new paradigm but it opens up all sorts of new problems. I can open almost anything and have a conversation but I’m not making shit happen, I don’t have a strong belief that we will sleep together. And logically can you blame me? I haven’t pulled in a month or two. I’ve come really fucking close, there have been a couple of times I would have pulled if a 50/50 scenario went my way, but it hasn’t happened. That means that in the last 60 days I’ve talked to maybe 300 women and haven’t had sex once. It makes perfect sense that my brain doesn’t believe that I will get laid with this girl. As much as I strive to put my mind in the right place, it just isn’t happening like I’d like it to.

So that’s where I’m at. This sort of purgatory, where I can open, have solid conversations but they lead nowhere. And it’s getting old. At least when a girl rejects you right off the bat you can move on. With these conversations I get to know a girl, invest in her and she invests in me. We build something and then nothing happens. Over and over and over. The last month is the most fun I’ve ever had in game, in terms of satisfaction and ease of interacting with women, but the lack of results is disappointing.

What is the pain trying to teach me? There’s always a lesson there and I think that in this case it’s this: I have to be leading more. I’m not trying to make sex happen. Even though I’m getting over my problem of going for the makeout, which is gratifying in the moment, that doesn’t really get us closer to the pull. Once in a while you get that girl who is so fucking down that you just say let’s get out of here and it’s lights out. But I feel that I’m losing dozens of possible sets because I’m not hooking up with those girls where it’s seemingly less down but if I led I could make shit happen.

If I was to give myself a challenge, it would be the following: for every single set that I’m in for more than three minutes, I must try leading. It doesn’t matter where, it doesn’t matter if I think it’s a good idea. I just have to try and do it. If she says no, I have to try again in two minutes. Then another two minutes. I’m willing to burn shit down because I’ve had so many 20 minute conversations that I don’t need another! I’d rather find out if lack of leading is my problem. Anyways, let’s look at a few of the girls.

Sets

Started off right with a couple of cute girls from the midwest. I love to walk up to girls and assume that they’re not from New York. 90% of the time you’ll be right, nobody is really from here. I talked to both for a few minutes then my buddy came in and took the cuter one. Mine was awfully cool too though and we vibed well. But after ten minutes things slipped. I stopped offering that cool vibe, I got stuck in my head a bit, started thinking about how to offer value and she stopped reacting so well. Frustrating!

It’s no fun to have that awesome conversation for ten minutes or so then feel it slip. If I could redo this I would make myself more comfortable, take a seat next to her. I would also seed the idea of going to another bar so that the set has direction. I’d also recognize that I need to contribute more to the conversation. I’m really good at asking questions and getting her to open up but there are times I have to talk about myself, or at least tell a story, so that we are both invested in each other.

I look back on college and smack myself from about 6 different girls I could have slept with if I just knew what the fuck I was doing. In two years I’ll look back on this set and smack myself for not pulling.

Opened another girl at the first bar and it was going well. She gave me some shit initially but in the end started responding well. I liked her but we left before it could go anywhere. Although to be honest, I don’t know where it would have gone. I was just goofing around, I wasn’t setting up anything for us to do together.

There were plenty of other sets, nothing interesting.

Going Forward

I must ask myself, what am I most scared to do? Then do that. In this way I find fear very useful. Opening is easy, even big sets and mixed sets. Staying in conversation for a while is no problem. The fear arises when it comes to leading hard and moving the girl. I have this fantastic reference point of the night I was drunk in Meatpacking, met this girl and talked for a few minutes. Then I dragged her out of the bar and almost got into a taxi with her. I wasn’t worried about attraction, investment, or any of these other stupid fucking concepts that I talk about. I was on the level of she’s a girl, I want to get laid, pull her out of the bar to get laid. So I did.

And I obviously pulled too soon and she freaked out, but it was so beautiful how I just led hard and she followed. I have to bring that level of leading into my game now if I want to actually get somewhere.

Self-Referencing State, the Root of Attraction

The following is predicated upon,

attraction = a display of high status behaviors. From the obvious eye contact and posture to the subtle abundance and non-reactivity.

A common problem for new guys is running out of things to say. Your mouth freezes and you can’t open it with a crowbar. There are ways around this. You free associate, tell stories or talk about retarded shit. In time your brain eases up on the judgement and you start holding normal conversations.

Now that you can talk, you might begin to worry about the value you’re offering. Was it the right moment for that, should I be staying silent and waiting for her to speak up, I shouldn’t have interrupted her just then, etc. In seeking to offer value you may do things with a proven track record. You know that certain words / phrases tend to get positive reactions and you say these things and hope she laughs or asks a question. This is unfortunate because you are now dependent on her reaction. If she laughs you feel good. If she doesn’t, you feel a little gap there, a sense of lack. This is not good! The thing we’re aiming for is self-referencing state.

Self-referencing state happens when your emotional well-being is generated solely by your own actions and words. You are free from her outcome, you need nothing. You say I love your shirt and it doesn’t matter whether she laughs, cries or tries to kiss you, you’re good. You crack a joke, she doesn’t get it, stares at you like you’re weird. That’s cool, you weren’t depending on any kind of reaction. You just keep feeling good, recognizing that everyone has a unique sense of humor. You have an implicit faith in yourself, you’re just the high status guy that she’s been waiting for. It’s your lack of trying to prove that which demonstrates it perfectly.

Anyways, it’s only in the last week or two that I’ve started to understand this in any kind of meaningful way. So I’ve got a long, long ways to go. In refining my thinking, however, I do have a place to start. Those split-second moments, in every interaction, when I try and make interaction go better, fill in the silence, whatever. Instead of doing this, I can listen to that coolness voice, break an old pattern and focus on keeping myself happy instead of her. Moving forward depends on this.

The Group Hits on Girls in Manhattan

We had the full entourage last night, me and my three main wingmen. Fantastic guys, I’m lucky to be going out with them. We’re all in the same ballpark for skill level and that’s brilliant. The guy who does the best is typically the one who approaches the most and stays out the longest. Last night that was one of the guys and he pulled a super cute girl back to his place around 3. Conflicting emotions, I’m psyched for him but also it makes me want to fucking crush it and put in even more work to get my own pull rate up.

Not that we slacked last night. We were all out for 3+ hours and together we probably approached 50 to 100 girls. A few thoughts on this.

Jade

She was the first set of the night, we talked for ten minutes. The conversation was going great until she asked me where I live. I said Coney Island and then I started to talk about it.

It’s really far away. It’s not that great and I don’t like it that much.”

I noticed an immediate drop in the interest level. When I talk down about my life I decrease my state. The world will shit on me enough, I don’t need to do it to myself. Even though I objectively don’t really like where I’m living, when I’m out hitting on girls I can’t feed into that reality. I need to pump up my own state and brag about my life, no matter how I really feel about it. The reason I’m staying there is to save a bunch of $$$ to go live in Bali for three months this winter, why not hype that up?

I left Jade a few minutes later. Then we went off and did our thing. Later, returning to the first bar, I saw her again. Immediately reopened and I could see it was on. I kissed her within two minutes. She asked what we had been doing for two hours. I replied,

We were at club XYZ. I don’t want to sound intolerant or anything, but we left after it got super gay.”

100% truth, it turned into a gay party the likes of which Manhattan has never seen. But I did sound like a douche and I blew it. She stopped making eye contact, turned her body away from mine and began to give cursory answers. It was done, I fucked up the set twice with the same girl by my stupid words! We had jokes about this after. But seriously, good lessons. Always talk yourself up and put at least marginal limits on how you speak about sensitive topics.

The Ditz

For 20 minutes I talked to this girl and I couldn’t figure out why the interaction wasn’t going better. Then I realized, this girl is as dumb as a box of rocks! This struck me because I was able to judge the situation objectively and see that I wasn’t being lame, she was simply not someone with whom you have an intelligent conversation. I asked her if she smoked weed.

Yeah, I like it.” 

I ask her if she can be productive when she’s high.

Haha nooo.. I just get really stoned and lie on my bed for ten minutes then pass out!”

Kissing Girls

I did a grade A job of going for the kiss last night. I made it happen with Jade, I had two other girls turn away when I tried multiple times and then I got in closer with some other girls but didn’t quite go for it. Really good shit man, I’m learning how to do this effectively.

Two Cute Girls

I saw two cute girls dressed in black and dove into that set without hesitation. They were both uber cute and liked me. They were just going downstairs though but as she was walking past the one girl invited me to follow along and keep talking. I elected not to, however, just getting to that point where girls want you to stay, that’s big. I remember approximately 1,489 girls that didn’t want me to stick around.

Room for Improvement

My approach ethic was sick, going for the kiss was awesome, me and all the other guys put in the work yesterday. However, again we see the issue of outergame. I’m having rock solid conversations but they’re not leading anywhere. I need to be planting seeds, asking about logistics, creating plans and so forth. Living 90 minutes from the club I can’t pull to my place but I can screen for pulling to hers or the bathroom if it’s really on. Every single set, screen for logistics, seed the pull. Hammer that shit out like clockwork so that I’m creating opportunities. I don’t want to jinx this but I don’t think I’ve had a bad night in three or four weeks, my issue is not attraction or hooking a set. It’s making shit motherfucking happen.

The Crew

When you look at the three guys I roll out with I’m the exception, in that I’ve put the most work into using cold approach pickup to develop my skills with girls and my ability to be social. The other three guys have all done cold approach but from what I gather they all started at a much higher level then me. But it doesn’t matter where you come from, it matters where you are. And cold approach fucking works man. If you’re willing to put in the work you can develop a new personality and get the chance to hang out with super fucking cool guys.

Page 2 of 33

This Website is Held Together by Nerd Power & Designed By Leon Tavas