Out in Black

Learning Game: Reports from the Field

Category: Field Report (Page 2 of 27)

Running the Usual Game in LES

The cute girl I pulled home but didn’t close on Monday, never met up with her again. Painful lesson to learn man. I had the opportunity, I was at her place and let it slip past. I can think of two things I messed up. First, she kept saying you can’t sleep over. I interpreted that to mean no sex but I think it meant we can hook up but you have to leave afterwards. Next time that happens I’ll say yeah, I won’t sleep over and then get on with it. Second thing, right before I kissed her she said,

I like total honesty, were you thinking about having sex tonight?”

Taken aback, I replied, “Yeah, I was.”

There are definitely times when sex is so obviously on the table that it’s no big deal. But in this context I think it would be better if I had said something more “gamey” like no, I really hadn’t thought about it or whatever.

So the big lesson here is go for it then and there. It seems sort of sexually aggressive but it’s necessary. It’s also a win-win for both of us. Obviously this doesn’t mean ignore real objections, but it does mean I shouldn’t have rolled over as easily as I did.

Thursday

Girl from Wednesday night, ending up meeting up Thursday and hanging out for five hours. Got some sushi, drank some wine, hit some bars but nothing happened. It turned out we had no real chemistry and I didn’t try anything. I’m OK with that though because I have the opposite of a friend-zone problem with girls, I hardly fucking ever have a platonic relationship with a girl. It’s literally happened one time in the fifteen months I’ve been in NYC.

Will I see this girl again? I think not, mostly because of the personality. There was lack of romantic interest and just lack of interest in general.

Friday

Really wasn’t feeling like going out so I went out. Met up with my wingman and we opened some sets. Went pretty well with one girl and learned a good lesson. We were in this crazy environment, getting buffeted around like popcorn. What I needed to do was get us anchored against the wall, her leaning into me. That would have been the move.

This girl had horrible eye contact which throws me off. Her sub-communication kept saying that she liked me but she wouldn’t look me in the eye. Maybe just nervous or intimidated? In the future I need to point out that I like good eye contact, bad eye contact is a turn off.

Got her number then we bounced around LES some more. Nothing too crazy happened. Five nights in a row of going out, it’s been really good. Had a couple of near misses but even though I didn’t get laid, it’s been cool to just spend so many hours interacting with women.

Another Missed Pull Opportunity

First girl I talked to I ended up staying with the whole night. I didn’t end up pulling. A guy friend showed up and her cousin, who she’s living with (and is a manager at my favorite club in NYC), took one look at me and made the guy friend promise to get the girl on the train and home safe. My question: is this all just more bullshit? If I had led harder could I have gotten around the logistics and pulled anyways? I have so many questions about last night, I would pay $50 to see how an advanced guy would have handled it.

She never texted back after this

On a positive note, I set up a date to get some wine. I think maybe that will happen. I also texted the girl from last night and we had a brief conversation but it didn’t go anywhere. My texting game only seems to work when the girl is so into me that it doesn’t matter what I say. In retrospect I should have pushed harder for sex. We were there, it was on, fuck it. I let beliefs about what is and is not possible limit me. The more I go out the more these beliefs dissolve, but I still have a long way to go.

Tonight I may have taken the not chasing idea too far. I think that about an hour deep with my girl I needed to kiss her. However, I always go for the kiss. So in a way I’m fine that I didn’t push for it because I’m trying new things. And maybe it works out that tomorrow we go for wine, go back to my place to “see if the wine is good” and then we hook up. Maybe that happens, maybe it doesn’t, I don’t know.

This mindset of assuming attraction and being the prize, it feels really good and so far the results are good. I still have about a billion questions but that’s nothing new. I’ll go out a lot, talk to a shit ton of girls and start figuring things out. One strong change that I can make is leading harder and getting the girl out of the club. No seeding the pull, no bullshit, just grab her hand, say adventure, let’s go! And get her out. Deal with objections as they come up.

Non Game and Walking Cute Girls Home

I hit up a different Tuesday spot than normal. My buddy was supposed to be promoting but he never showed up. I was solo which is rare. It took me a long time to work up the nerve to do my first approach. Did it and I was shut out in 4 seconds flat. I saw an exceptionally cute girl walking by and I started to follow her. She went to the bar, it was crowded, I didn’t try to open. Another 15 minutes of nothing, until I say to myself, fuck this man. If you don’t make something happen, what’s the point of even going out? I see that same cute girl again, approach her and we talk for 5 minutes. One thing that helped me a lot was a post I recently read about invisible attraction.

Invisible attraction = The hotter girls will give you very few, if any, signs that they’re into you. They might give you one word answers, act bored, not try to keep the conversation going, etc. However, it’s a front. On the inside they’re actually attracted but they won’t let you see that. So you have to power through and trust that she’s attracted.

That was this girl. She was giving me nothing, I kept pushing. We broke off and I danced for a minute. Then I saw her sitting down alone. I sat next to her. She insulted me for 2 minutes, I shrugged it off, then we started talking about food. Ten minutes later we left together to get pizza. Then I walked her home. Then I asked to use the bathroom and we went inside. We ended up kissing but nothing else. She had to wake up in six hours for a thesis meeting and she said no way I could stay over.

Now…… Did I blow everything by not pushing harder for sex? I hope not, this would be, hands down, the cutest girl I’ve hooked up with yet. My thinking at the moment was this, going all the way for sex at this moment is high risk, high reward. Maybe I can push past her objections and get laid. But only maybe. There’s also a good chance I can’t, and then I’ve blown the cool and I’ll probably never see her again. Instead of doing that I got her number and set up a date for this Friday. Typically when I push the interaction as far as conceivably possible, then set up a date for later, those dates tend to go very well. So I’ll text her today and see what happens. I’m fully open to the idea that I fucked up by not trying harder for sex. She let me into her house after all.

Notes

*I’ve been talking a lot about this idea of outcome independent game. A state of mind where I’m not chasing, I’m assuming it’s on. That was last night. I spent 90 minutes talking to this girl and I never tried anything, it was all very platonic. I just assumed it was on. Then we got back to her place and started kissing. If she didn’t have a thesis thing there’s a good chance we would have hooked up. It’s just being cool, being normal and assuming attraction. And I’m only in the nascent stages of understanding this, I’ve got years ahead of me to really master it. But I’m so psyched for that.

*The other great thing about this “non-chasing” game is that it’s so much more in line with my personality. I’m the same person when I’m in set with a girl as I am with anyone else. It’s a great alignment, as opposed to adopting a new persona when in set. This is not cool. The example I always think of is this PUA I went out with last winter. He was technically exceptionally skilled but also weird. His entire personality changed when he was with a girl versus chatting with me. He had all but mastered the art of “chasing” game but he had yet to progress past that point. I don’t want to be like that.

*Finding the best pickup information takes work. It means sorting through a lot of fucking bullshit and marketing half truths to find the gold. Even someone like Distant Light who I model myself on, you still have to filter his content.

What is Game when You Can Only Find 2 Sets

Only able to find a couple of sets last night. A common complaint of mine that NYC nightlife is disappointing. Stupid but we still had fun. Every time I go out I’m trying to drop expectations and have fun with the girl. No prerogative, instead I’m putting faith in the fact that we will hook up, even if I don’t chase. It’s weird because it’s so different from how I’ve spent my entire life with girls. I still don’t really understand it.

On a practical note, it would pay to start getting into some higher end venues. I know it’s possible, I’ve just been lazy about it and also it usually means going solo because my wingmen can’t get in. Regardless, it would be nice for maybe a Thursday or something.

Trying to be the Guy

Went out to a bar in the East Village with my friend. Had a few beers, talked to some girls and ended up with Monica. Really cute, super tall! We ended up making out and it was good. Tried valiantly for the pull but it wasn’t happening. In retrospect I would change my behavior. We were outside waiting for the Uber and it was fairly clear she wasn’t going to let me go home with her. I kept aggressively pushing for it, but I should have backed off and started planning a date. I would definitely go out with this girl again.

The whole time I was with her I was trying to not chase, I was trying to just “be” for lack of a better word. And it’s funny because you can’t get to this state by trying, it’s the opposite of trying. But I don’t know a better way to go about it. Continually remind myself that I’m the prize, that sex is guaranteed, that I shouldn’t chase. My results may actually go down as I figure this the fuck out, maybe. But long term it’s going to be massive.

The parallels between poker and pickup are massive. In both cases you can do everything right and lose, or do everything wrong and win. Both teach you that you must focus on the action, you cannot worry about the result.

Reflecting on Game in NYC

I’ve talked before about these brief glimpses of game at the next level. It’s these moments where I’m talking to the girl but I’m no longer chasing. I’m not trying to lead it towards sex. I’m just there, talking, being myself. The funniest thing is that when it happens it feels scary. It’s so different from the way I’ve spent 99.998% of my life interacting with girls. I first started noticing this last month but it seems to be happening a bit more now. All I can say is cool, I’m looking forward to the shift. It might take another year to fully get there and that’s OK. Once I do my options with women will blow up.

I’m really interested in talking to the most attractive women. I want to be consistently approaching them, reapproaching them, staying in set under pressure and in general doing whatever possible to speak with them as long as possible. In a way I think that going after hotter women may actually be easier. I’m more attracted and more willing to endure bullshit, fight through pressure, reapproach multiple times, etc. As opposed to another average girl who I might blow off as soon as things get tricky.

A theory, women respond well to good looking guys not just because of the physical looks, but because she associates good looking guys with game. That is, the two usually go together. She may give a good looking guy the benefit of the doubt, whereas a less unattractive guy has to do more to prove himself because she isn’t inclined to believe he’s got attractive qualities.

I’m still really interested in the idea of entitlement. Yesterday at work an exceptionally tall, skinny blonde girl sat down close to me. I’m about 84% sure she sat there because she wanted me to talk to her. We had exchanged glances earlier. I never talked to her. My thought process is something like, there’s no way it will happen. I’ve never slept with a girl I met in the day. I can’t make this happen. Contrast that to Ukraine, where we rolled up on stunning women all the time and it was easy and fun. Of course I would have opened her there, I felt entitled!

In Ukraine, as an American, you’re wealthy, you can afford to eat anywhere and do anything, you have great status. My game in Ukraine was the same, the only thing that changed was entitlement. However, that simple change allowed me to thoughtlessly roll up on great looking women all day. Whereas in NYC I feel like a small, broke fish and I don’t feel entitled. Interesting. However, I know this can be overcome. Distant Light was fucking 20, broke, living with his parents and he still made it happen with models all the time. It’s possible.

The Night

Ended up with three different wingman, we opened some chicks. It was fun. I’ve reached the point where I have a group of really fucking solid wingman who go out a lot, approach a lot and are effective with women. It’s great, especially compared to some of the bozos I went out with when I started. And they want to hang out with me, we all offer value to each other. Don’t try to attract the people you want in your life. Instead, become the type of person you want to attract and then they’ll come to you.

The Social Vice Grips in LES

The best part of last night was one particularly difficult set. I saw an unusually cute girl dancing. Guy or two, girl or two with her. Whatever, I go in and do my best conceivable approach. I can immediately feel the pressure of 4 people focusing on me. It’s epic. I say nonsensical things to this girl, I recognize that at this moment my actual words account for 2% of my success. 98% depends on how I comport myself. I own the pressure as best as I possible can until her friend blocks me off. Then she turns around and physically shoves me away. I refuse to leave, I’m not talking to the girl, I’m not bugging anyone, I’m just standing there. But I won’t move. The guy starts to get involved, I ignore him. The girl tries to get me to leave again, I won’t budge. The social pressure was epic. I got the largest rush that I’ve had in a while.

Moments like this are good because I can feel myself becoming less reactive. If I can withstand this kind of social pressure, the regular stuff is a breeze by comparison. Just like a guy who’s benching 300lb would think it’s a joke to do 135. Other than that crazy set, the usual. Met up with a cool new wingman, we worked our way through LES and opened a bunch of sets. A few things worth talking about.

Notes

*My first six sets or so I was mimicking attractive behavior. I was trying to consciously control all my mannerisms to conform to my general idea of what women find attractive. Cocky, funny, breaking report, silly, having fun, etc. But damn, those girls don’t fall for it for a second. I hardly had 2 minutes of talking time with six sets combined. Then I dropped the act. I walked up to a cute Asian girl and started asking her some regular questions. No cocky funny, no acting, no over-the-top bullshit. We talked for quite a while and at the end, when I asked for her number, she said she had a boyfriend but she thought I was awesome.

Man, this is a bit of a mind fuck for me. I’ve consciously or unconsciously associated this outgoing, player persona with getting laid. However, last night it wasn’t working and the fucking second, the very god damn second, that I dropped it was the moment I had a great interaction and the girl really liked me. Honest expression is not flashy but it’s better game. I’m not being the craziest guy in the room, but I’m communicating a lot of value by doing a good approach, having good eye contact, being 100% comfortable, engaging the friends, creating an interesting conversation, etc. That flashy bullshit stuff is sort of fun and it looks cool but the results are poor.

*Yesterday at work I saw an exceptionally beautiful girl. I was instantly pissed at her. God fucking dammit, how is life fair. She’s just born like that and here I am busting my fucking ass, putting in hundreds of hours of effort and still not even hooking up with a girl this cute. Fucking life. I was in a negative headspace yesterday and I knew it. When I’m in a regular or good headspace I don’t think like that. I realize that game is teaching me awesome lessons and I also usually feel fucking amazing when I go out. In fact there are nights where I pull, have sex and then think, damn. That orgasm didn’t feel as good as that 7 minute rampage I went on.

I’m striving to cultivate an amazing inner environment where I’m consistently in a good mood and I’m not seeking external validation. Once I have that environment I will not be chasing girls, they will be coming to me. It’s like my Dad’s plan. He has 100 acres of property and he likes to go deer hunting. Instead of going all over trying to find a single deer, he planted a bunch of apple trees and created an environment that attracts the deer. Now he has more than he and ten friends could ever want. No chasing, the deer come to them. That’s what I’m trying to do with girls. My headspace has to eventually reach the point where I’m no longer chasing, girls are the one fighting to be with me.

*Girls want you to be attractive, they want you to be cool, they want you to succeed and everyone to get laid. I talk to my sister a lot about guys and I see it from her perspective. She has certain standards and will shoot guys down, but she’s also very willing to accept dorky behavior, stupid mistakes, awkward bullshit, whatever. She’s not trying to destroy guys. Girls at the bar may test us to find out what we’re made of but deep down they want us to succeed.

Late Nights Trying to Stop Models on the Street

I’m mentally exhausted from pickup. My голова doesn’t know what to make of it all. Went out last night and ran into everyone. Leaving the first bar I bumped into a wingman and we bounced to another bar. Opened a bit then we separated. Collided with another wingman who I almost got an apartment with. We opened for half an hour then it broke up. Another wingman showed up but I was talking to a cute girl so he bounced. Didn’t see him again. Standing outside the bar I saw my natural friend. I’ve been out with him the last two nights, tearing shit up. I shouted him over and we spent the rest of the night opening everything. This guy is one of the few people I’ve ever met who opens more than me, he’s an animal. Stayed out till 2:30 then called it a night.

Notes

*Social calibration is overrated. My natural buddy seems to ignore most social conventions and he told me that he’s slept with 40 or 50 women this year. However, he ignores social conventions in a productive way. He said to me,

Man, I’ve fucked so many girls this year that I just don’t give a fuck. I’m crazy, I’ll do anything! I give a fuck if she leaves.”

*I got sucked in by my friend last night and I wasn’t acting like my normal self. I used to be a weird little dude who over analyzed the living fuck out of social situations in a really creepy way. I don’t do that anymore but I am aware that I need to find a way to keep my level of awesome up, even when I’m with a dominant guy. I think that comes down to opening my own sets and being more independent. By the end of the night he was opening 90% of the sets and he had the momentum.

*Although my friend blows me out of the water when it comes to sleeping with women, he did say that I’m better than him at keeping a conversation going. He says he runs out of stuff to say sometimes. That was cool to hear, given that when I started this was a problem for me as well. I’ve come a long way.

*We did try to stop several groups of models. They were not having it. I was not having it, my brain had shut down 45 minutes ago. Nobody was having anything.

*Best part of the night was the 15 or 20 minutes I spent talking to this really cute girl. It was great, there were 2 or 3 times I could feel this weird feeling of self-sabotage rising. That little voice that wants me to say something totally stupid and act weird to fuck it up. I squashed that bitch. I asked for her number and she said no but that’s OK. I was really just looking that I asked, I can’t control the response.

Tearing Up Meatpacking with my Natural Buddy

Pickup is fun! Last night was glorious. I had some drinks then met up with my wingman. First club sucked so we went to my favorite place in NYC. Upstairs met up with my natural friend and we started opening everything. Found some Canadians. He started making out with his, I pulled mine off the couch and started making out with her. He left and I danced some with my girl. She said she had to use the bathroom so I took her there. Pulled her into a stall but she was not down for anything. I left, never saw her again.

Met up with my buddy, same thing happened to him. Pulled his Canadian girl to a stall but nothing happened. Left the club, bounced all around. Ended up with this super cute girl sitting on some steps outside a club. Talked to her for 20 minutes maybe. I was hoping my buddy would leave us alone, I thought there was some chance I could have pulled her to my place. We were a block from my building. I invited her over for some drinks but she declined.

After a while I was done talking. It was almost 3. Eventful night. I’m looking forward to the coming months when I think I’m going to start pulling an awful lot. My inner game is fairly fucking solid, I’m going to pull more as I figure out some outergame stuff. How to deal with objections, how to isolate better, how to lead more effectively, etc.

Speaking German and Missing two Windows

Went out solo last night. I almost always run into someone at the Wednesday spot but none of my wingmen were there last night. I sat down next to a cute blonde girl but she was married. I walked around until I heard a girl speaking German. I started talking to her, she invited me back to her table where she had some friends. That’s how I spent the rest of the night. We spoke a bunch of German, vibed, had a good time. I stayed with the group for two hours then left the club. A couple of lessons.

Notes

*There were two German girls. One was with a guy, one was single. I had two windows in which to kiss my German girl and I passed on both of them. Since the vibe was mostly friendly the whole night I was thinking that I could just roll with that and kiss her later. But it didn’t work like that. After I missed the second window to kiss her she withdrew all attention from me and I was done. Interesting. I don’t know how the fuck guys maintain platonic relationships with women, that rarely seems to work out for me.

*I had the limiting belief that I couldn’t pull my German girl because she’s a foreigner and staying with some guy on his couch. Generally, yes. Foreign girls will be less likely to split off from the group. However, this one was crazy and wanted to get laid. I could have absolutely gone for the pull. Big lesson here is to push for it and then calibrate after. Never assume that I know what’s up. Fuck limiting beliefs, they hold me back.

*These two German girls were freaky. I think that if one of them wasn’t marginally with a guy it could have easily turned into a threesome. I had a really solid vibe with the two of them and I could have led that to the bedroom.

*I literally fucking say this every other field report but I have to be going for the kiss. I have to power through whatever bullshit is happening in my head and just make it happen.

*A pickup guy I follow made a really good point: in order to become comfortable talking to the high quality women you have to spend as much time as possible talking to them. It seems so obvious but I hadn’t really put that piece together yet. So it’s like this, when I was first starting I had to continually challenge myself to stay in set and not bounce. At this point I have that down. Now I need to challenge myself to stay in set *with the cutest girls*. Before too long it’s going to reach the point where I can pull 2 or 3 average girls a week and that will be cool as hell. However, I’m really thinking bigger picture. I want amazing women in my life.

The Week Starts on Tuesday

Last night I saw a guy who I see a couple of times a month. He’s been going out for two years, he’s the assistant of a well known dating coach and he gets laid all the time. We shook hands in the bar then went our separate ways. Later, leaving the bar, I saw him outside. I thought I’d say whatup, bullshit for a few seconds then leave. That never happened though. I walked up and he barely acknowledged me. Then he slowly turned away, ignored the fuck out of me and froze me out. Man, it would be cool to say something like,

Fuck him bro” or “Who cares, he’s a dumbass” or whatever.

But nah, that’s not how I feel. I felt like shit about it. It sucks to be treated like that, especially when it’s someone who you respect. I can understand his reasoning, he probably gets random guys approaching him a lot and he was with a client. However, I think the way he handled it was shit. He could have given me twenty seconds of attention then said,

Look man, I’m with this guy who is paying me to coach him. I can’t really talk right now.”

I would have left feeling good, he would have remained high in my esteem and the world would have been a better place. Instead I feel crummy, I think he’s a bit of a schmuck and he’s set a poor example for a guy who is paying to learn from him. However, the whole point is not me to bitch about my feelings. The point is, I DO NOT want to be like this. I’m in pickup to learn how to bang girls and to become an overall cool guy who respects men and women and leaves a favorable impression on everyone. No matter what’s happening I can always give someone 20 seconds of time before I tell them that I’m busy and they should go. I think that this is so much better than virtually ignoring a person who takes the initiative to come up and say hi.

Another lesson (this time I’m at fault): better to give 100% attention for 1 minute than 80% attention for 3 minutes. For example, twice last night I was with a girl I wasn’t really into. Both times I started fidgeting, looking around and scanning the environment. Fine, that’s fair. I wanted to find other women to open. However, I always want to give my full attention to the person I’m with at the moment. No matter who it is or how uninterested I am. It’s the Bill Clinton principle. People always say that when you talked to Clinton it felt like you were the only person in the world to him. That’s what I’m after and I think it’s way better to give that attention to someone for a little while than distracted attention for a longer amount of time.

Apart from that I don’t have much else. I got a fairly hard blowout where a girl’s friend physically shoved me off then turned her back on me, blocking me out. Then that thing with the pickup guy and I left feeling crummy. That’s OK though, I tend to rebound from these things and kick even more ass. Tonight is a great party at my favorite club in NYC and I plan to get laid.

Sir Luscious Left Foot Pulls Again

Finally pulled from Pianos. This bar is a staple of the NYC pickup scene and despite going there 30 or 40 times I’ve never managed to get much done. Last night changed that. It was 2:30 or so. I saw a girl standing by herself and I instantly opened. Did the logistics run down and found out she lives in bumfuck Brooklyn. She’s out with a friend but the friend is gone baby gone. She tells me,

I’m just looking for the next thing to do.”

Jesus is that about as cut and dry an invitation as there is. I invite her to go to another bar with me and she agrees. We walk there and I buy us both a drink. Sit down, talk, move in closer and then we’re making out. Both our drinks are gone,  I say,

Do you like wine?”

Yeah of course.”

Cool, I’ve got a bottle of red wine at my place. Let’s go see if it’s any good.”

She gives me a bit of the typical shit about that being my excuse to get her to come to my place and me just wanting to get her alone. The usual, I’m capable of handling this. I acknowledge nothing and she quickly changes her tune.

OK, yes. I’m cool with getting some wine.” She says with a smile.

So we get an Uber, go to my place, drink some wine, fuck, wake up in the morning, fuck again and she’s on her period. God dammit, my sheets which I just washed after this incident, are now bloody again. Fucking girls.

Notes

*I’ve been slacking this August, I’m only hitting it 4 nights a week. That’s added up to 14 nights out so far this month. Not great, but what’s really cool are the results. I’ve pulled twice and should have pulled a third time if the sister wasn’t being a jealous woman. That’s an average pull rate of 1 out of every 7. This is fantastic! I ran the math about 6 months ago and I was pulling 1 out of every 20 nights.

*Before I pulled my girl I had the opportunity to pull another girl. She was into me and loving it. Unfortunately she just wasn’t cute enough and there was almost no feminine polarity. I left her thinking that I would rather go home alone than fuck with that. And then I didn’t go home alone, I’m glad I didn’t settle.

*I give myself congratulations for sticking it out last night. I didn’t leave early and was rewarded.

*The title of this post, Sir Luscious Left Foot, is a shout out to this fantastic album by Big Boi.

*Other interesting set was a cute South African girl. I really liked her and I wanted to go for the kiss but I fucking didn’t. Pissed. And it’s OK to be pissed because I’m judging myself on my own action, not on the result. Here’s the thing, I think that in these sets I need to make the rule that I go for the kiss within 5 minutes. If I wait longer than that it gets much harder. And I realize there are some girls who simply won’t kiss me that early and I’ll probably ruin some sets. That’s fine, this is about me getting over a sticking point and defeating a fear. It’s going to lead to massive long term progress, even if I fuck some shit up in the short term.

*I wasn’t planning on mentioning this but fuck it. I liked my girl, found her cute, was interested in seeing her again. I seeded ideas of meeting again and it seemed like she was down. Then I fucked it up this morning. We woke up around 7:30 and I was horny. I was spooning her and my hard dick was on her back. I started rubbing her leg and shoulder. The thing is, she was giving me nothing. No signs at all and I was unsure of myself. What I really wanted to do was put her face down and pile drive her into my bed. Instead, I started to back off because I wasn’t sure (feeling like a lil king bitch of Bitchalot).

As soon as I backed off she gave me some signs and I reescalated and we ended up fucking. But it wasn’t very good. The spark was missing and I ended up losing my boner. It was a total quagmire. She left shortly afterwards. I think the issue is that I had a chance to ravage her and really give her a unique experience but instead of doing what I wanted (pile driving), I took the weak route. That was dumb. The first route would have been passionate and powerful and I think I would have seen her again. Now, probably not. I came off as a herb and I could see a noticeable change in her attitude towards me.

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