I got fairly drunk last night (which is extremely unusual for me) and I both regret it and I don’t regret it. The thing is, nothing bad happened (apart from dropping $60 that I really would have liked to spend on other things) but bad things could have happened. I could have pissed people off, sent stupid texts or gotten kicked out of bars I enjoy. All this shit has happened before when I drink and I have no desire to have it happen again. All that being said…..
Last night was about as fun as it gets.
I met up with a new wingman around 8:30 in Meatpacking and we immediately got at it. Talked to a bunch of girls. One cute blonde girl I didn’t lead enough and that ended the interaction. It’s not that the girl is thinking “oh, this gentleman is not leading, I must tell him to go away!” It’s more like she doesn’t feel you taking the interaction towards a point of sex, and she feels like we may talk the whole night but nothing will happen. It’s the same idea that there is a window to escalate and if you don’t make shit happen in that window you’re fucked. By yourself. Because you’re jerking off. Because you’re not getting laid.
Missed the window, bounced around to some more girls, then met up with my other wingman and we started a glorious tour of the bars. Of which I don’t really remember much because I was drinking. One set does stand out though. In the bar, roll up on a chick who is standing by herself. We start making out in thirty seconds. I waste zero fucking time. I find out that she lives on the Upper East side, then I say,
“Come on, let’s go outside. Let’s go.”
And I start leading her outside. The way I’m leading her is brilliant. I’m drunk so I don’t give a fuck and she just follows. Normally, sober, I’m more worried about whether she’s following or not (which can manifest in behaviors like looking back to see if she is there, or walking slowly. These behaviors suck! I need to lead the way I drag my sister around. If I’m with my sister and we’re going somewhere, I tell her where we’re going then I just start walking. And if she’s not behind me when I get there, I think wtf what’s wrong with her for not keeping up? I would never in a billion years blame myself for “not leading right” or some gay bullshit like that. This is the attitude I need to have with all girls). We get outside, I say,
“Let’s find a taxi. I want to see your place.”
I grab her hand and pull her around, looking for a taxi. I don’t see any free taxis and this girl is giving me all sorts of objections.
“No way, I can’t leave. My friends are here. I can’t go with you!”
I tell her to text her friends and tell them that she’s had too much to drink and she had to leave. Keep looking for a taxi but I can’t fucking find one! After two minutes she finally freaks the fuck out and leaves. Total time, about 4 minutes. Haha tried to pull her to a taxi to go back to her place and hook up after four minutes. Drunk me is very bold. Obviously we had no connection or comfort and so she bailed. Although, she may have actually gotten into a taxi if it was right outside the door. That would have been interesting to see.
Major fucking lesson here though, just go for it! Grab your balls and be fucking bold! This girl followed me to a taxi after I’d said 64 words and known her for 3 minutes. She did it because I led hard. When I look back at everything that’s happened, I’m sure there are dozens if not hundreds of times I’ve missed a pull because I was too scared, too nervous, or thinking it’s too early!
Drunk me doesn’t think, he just does. I really need to transfer that quality over to sober me. I believe that if I start ramping up the intensity and pushing things harder, I’ll get blown out a lot more, but I’ll also learn to calibrate better, I’ll get better at seeing those windows, and I’ll end up getting laid a lot, lot more.
*If I was sober and trying to find the taxi, I would have had the cognitive capacity to change the situation a bit. I would have stopped looking for the taxi, backed up against a wall, pulled her in, started talking to her some, a bit of making out, and so forth. Two steps forward, one step back. Then after a few minutes of this, I would have flagged a taxi. I think that by making it so obvious I wanted the taxi right then and there I freaked her out a bit and scared her away.