Last night was the first time I went out in a week. I went out with the intention of pulling and that’s exactly what happened. I didn’t feel like my game was any different, nor should it be after only a week. The biggest change I noticed is that my vocal chords wore out faster. After an hour I was having trouble speaking at full volume. That was interesting, I guess you have to use them or lose them. Anyways, let’s look at the night.
Get to Meatpacking, get into my favorite club, open some sets. It’s going great with a Swedish girl and her friend. Halfway through my favorite cocktail waitress comes up, puts her arm around me, starts telling the girls about me and using my name. Social proof times 100x. I think pulling this waitress would be the easiest thing in the world. Also, I think she would be an ideal pivot because she knows exactly what I’m at that club to do, she likes me, we could probably have a threesome. Anyways, that’s speculation but the door is open.. I grab Swedish girl’s number and bounce.
Open some girls from Austria (The NYC curse, lot’s of girls but half of them are leaving in three days). This set is going well when a pickup guy who I like shows up and introduces me to his friend. We all form a big group, it’s awesome. My night is off to an amazing start and I feel like a thousand bucks. This is shaping up to be glorious. Then I get a text, my wingman (who is visiting from Chicago) got denied by the club. Two options. I can wish him best of luck and continue with my glorious night. Or I can leave this all and go hang out with him. I decide to hang out with him. I like meeting cool guys, I like expanding my social network and I have an awesome night 90% of the time at this club, there will always be time in the future to enjoy it.
Meet up with my wingman, we start opening sets on the street. We’re trying to walk to a bar down the block but we always get halfway there, then open some girls walking the opposite direction and go with them. After the third time this happens and we’re still not at the bar, I start shouting:
“Fuck this, enough! We will reach the end of this god damn fucking sidewalk! I don’t give a fuck!”
My wingman: “Blinder glasses on!”
Get there and open a lot. Nothing stood out as exceptional, except my one action. I was running out of steam and feeling tired. But as soon as I started feeling like that I said No! I’m awesome, and I’m having fun. I kept repeating these things on a loop, over and over. Do that long enough and it becomes a reality. We leave that bar and go to another. Open some more sets. Talk to a girl from Oregon. My eye contact is solid but she won’t look at me in the eyes. It’s the dangerrrrr zoneeee because if she does it long enough she knows things will happen.
We leave that set, make another round, talk to some Asian girls. Then we see two girls and my wingman opens them. We all talk for a while then I lead my girl to go get an apple. Then I tell her that I want to see if my friend is outside on the sidewalk and I lead her there. She won’t come outside the door of the bar though. I’m aware that she’s not going to leave her friend and I have to work with this. I want to bounce them somewhere else but I see that their beers are half full and they won’t leave. It pays to be aware of these things.
Eventually the bar kicks us out (they close really early) and we end up on the sidewalk. My wingman is tired, he bounces, leaving me with the two girls. They both say they’re tired. I say to my girl:
“Yeah, I don’t want to stay out any longer either. I’ll just walk you home then I’ll leave.”
I walk her home (my girl has Grade A+ logistics. She lives alone, 5 minutes from the bar) and she lets me right in. We go to her room, I chill on the bed, show her a music video, then we start making out (hadn’t even kissed before this) and two minutes later she puts some condoms in my hand. That was that. She had an insanely loud bed that probably woke up the neighbors. We moved to the floor. Don’t think I’ve ever done that before, another thing to cross off the list.
*I started off the night with ridiculousness high energy. I was like a firecracker, and like a firecracker I soon burned out. This really wasn’t a big deal, my normal state of being is fine. But it can feel like a big deal because you get used to the ultra-uber-social state then going back to normal feels like a downgrade. I’m really not sure how to handle this. It’s not like I forced this state, it just came from banging out my approaches. When I feel this way should I try to even it out and downplay it? Will I be able to hold it longer and longer the more I go out? I suspect yes, but until that starts happening I’m not sure what the optimal approach is to handling this. I don’t want to come to depend on feeling like that in order to pull. In a way it would be just like a guy who depends on alcohol to approach.
*I pulled last night so I obviously did some things right, but I still feel like I was too fidgety. I feel like I was moving my feet around, moving my head all around, playing with my hands, shrugging my shoulders, all this shit. Very twitchy and beta. Think about the alpha-lion. He just sits there like a fucking boss and owns the little beta wannabees with a glance. That’s what I’m aiming for, the deep grounded energy. I don’t want to let that escape through all sorts of annoying behaviors.
*The greatest moments of growth last night came from when I maintained the vibe of “I’m having fun, I’m awesome” instead of letting the night overtake me. And also, when I suggested that I walk my girl home. I was genuinely nervous to do this. I have pulled multiple times but it’s still new ground as opposed to other things (like opening, which I’ve done thousands of times). Thankfully I know that growth comes from doing things that scare you, and so I did what I was nervous to do and I got laid.
*There was little chemistry between me and the girl last night. I’ve become much more aware of this. Attraction is not necessarily chemistry. You may fuck a girl who you have no chemistry with, but it’s not nearly as much fun as hooking up with one who you genuinely connect to. So far I’ve pulled two girls who I had genuine chemistry with. To bad they live in New Zealand and LA, otherwise there was real potential to get to know them better.
*I’m developing the belief that every night I go out I pull. It doesn’t matter worth a fuck how long it’s been since I pulled last, tonight is the night! This is a tough belief to have without experience, but once you start sleeping with more girls the belief grows stronger. I’ve pulled 3 girls in the last 20 days, which is really sick. I see no reason for this train to slow down.
*In my daily life I’m beginning to focus more on all the good and how awesome I am, versus beating myself up for the bad. For example, it’s very easy for me to get mad at myself for not opening a girl in the shop, or not staying out long enough, etc. Usually I just hammer on this “bad” shit till I feel crummy. I do it because I always want to achieve more, but I just don’t think it’s effective. I think it’s better to focus on all the good things I’m doing, forget about the bad, and then because I feel good more of the time I’ll be more likely to do those things like the subway set or stay out longer.