What went right last night? Probably more than I think. I tend to be so hard on myself. Around 11 I meet up with Don at a bar and the door guy remembers my name from last night. Definitely made a good impression. Inside there’s a girl at the bar and my wingman says damn she’s cute! My response: Go open her. I’m giving you three seconds. He does it, I open another girl sitting alone and we chat for ten minutes. It goes good but I bounce. This is where my game falls apart. I can open. I can get a conversation going and generate some attraction. Then I get squeamish and bounce. Or I misread the situation. Like that girl, she wasn’t throwing herself on me but something could have definitely happened if I had exhibited a bit more persistence.
Another wingman shows up. Three of us all together now. There’s a three set sitting fifteen feet away on some benches. We talk about the girls for two minutes and unanimously conclude that someone should open them. Ok, let’s do it I say. And I go sit down to the cute one.
If my game has one major strength it’s that I’m very good at opening. I don’t think or stammer or try to come up with funny openers. I just go up and do it, which is how I find out that they’re from Alabama. My girl is attractive and we vibe. Three minutes later both wingmen come in and it’s creepy as fuck. They just kind of stand there, the girls hardly even notice them, and then they just walk away. Big advantage of opening first is that you can avoid those awkward situations.
While it starts off ok, the set slowly fizzles like T-Pain’s career. Presumably because I’m attracted to this girl and I’m investing too much. I’m consciously trying to ask open ended questions to get her to invest in me but I’m failing. I bounce and go to the bathroom, come back and some other guys are talking to them. I know nothing about amogging except the idea to be polite and ask the guys questions. Get them to buy into my frame. So I do, and they turn out to be cool and leave me to talk to the girls. Fine, but it’s dead (or I perceive it to be dead? Maybe I’m totally fucking wrong?) and I leave 3 minutes later.
Ten minutes later I almost steal my wingman’s set. He’s invested in his girl and I flat don’t give a fuck so I’m being funny and outgoing. I’m saying ridiculous shit and pushing the envelope. For a while they’re loving it but twenty minutes deep I say something like I love New York. I wish I could be New York. Can you give me a trans-city surgery? Cut off my dick and replace it with a skyscraper. This is an example of bad game. That ended the set in 3 seconds flat.
Improving my interactions 5 to 10 minutes deep. At this point I frequently eject, even if it’s going ok. Or the conversation slows down. Injecting more energy and burning more calories is not the answer. That’s working harder, not smarter. I have to find a way to get past this sticking point. I can see glimpses of that next level attraction and I know it’s there. Man, it’s frustrating. Game is illusive, like an unemployed baby-daddy.
Toning down my physical game. This is one of those things where theory is going directly against firsthand experience. I always believed tons of kino sparked attraction. Ok, sure in some situations it does. In others I’ll get a lot farther by keeping my hands in my pockets. Learning that distinction is important.