Last night I spoke with a very attractive German girl for half an hour. I don’t take this for granted because there are plenty of nights when I would love to have a long conversation with a cute girl but I get quickly blown out. Awesome, but still lots to fix. The most glaring error is that I never tried to kiss her. This created a disconnect because I was thinking about kissing her but I wasn’t acting on it. I think that she maybe even would have accepted, she seemed to be pretty into me. Regardless, I ended up leaving the set and that was that. The lesson, hardly a new one, is that I would rather lose the set by pushing it too hard than by playing it safe. Next time I’m with a girl as cute as her I’ll go for it.
Despite this, I see it as baby steps. A few months ago I doubt I would have been able to keep up a conversation with a girl this attractive, I would have gotten stuck in my head. This time that didn’t happen and I felt great. This shows tangible progress.
Acting vs. Being
Even though I kept the conversation going, I was consciously trying to be funny, outgoing, etc. I left that set and I was mentally exhausted from it, it felt like I had just stepped off a treadmill. As opposed to the girl I brought back on Friday, where speaking was effortless and my entire way of being was pure authenticity, no trying or acting.
Again, baby steps. I’ve reached the point where I feel calm, attractive and awesome with a majority of average looking girls. It’s the most entitled I’ve ever felt in my life, especially since I used to be a guy who thought that he was bad with girls. Major progress and I see even more progress to come. As I go out and spend more time interacting with the most beautiful women, I believe I’ll become more entitled and I’ll be able to “be” vs “act”. If you’re the type of person who goes out a lot you’ll know what I’m talking about.
Mentioned that I almost pulled a 45 year old woman yesterday. She gave me her number, good chance I could have met up last night and slept with her. Thought it over, decided that I would rather go to the club and learn lessons versus sleep with her. Also, she already validated the hell out of me by calling me attractive multiple times and saying how awesome I am. Sleeping with her might have been an anti-climax to that.