Whatever I’m doing right now it’s working. Last night was the third session in a row where I had a viable opportunity to pull. Last Wednesday I pulled the Swedish chick to the bathroom but we didn’t fuck. Last Friday it’s likely I would have pulled the super cute mother if we could have just found a guy to keep the daughter busy. Last night I had a decent chance to pull the first girl I opened. The conversation was awesome but she wasn’t that cute. This created some indecision in me. I’m thinking, I’ve slept with a dozen girls cuter than her, I’m really not that interested. On the other hand, the reference experience, and the practice. I should be going for it.
At the end I decided to go for it but I weak-sauced it. I didn’t know the logistics, didn’t know that she wanted to keep partying and I didn’t want to spend another 2 hours with her. So we kissed goodbye and that was that. The lesson is one in mental discipline. I need to decide early on whether I’m going to pull or not, then act accordingly. If I’m not going to pull, fine. But leave the set and look for another girl. If I am going to pull, fine. But give it 100% attention, figure out the logistics and lead like a boss.
Also, a minor note. The set with her lasted about 30 minutes and the whole time we were sitting across from each other at a small table. I knew she wanted to makeout but I was pondering how to make it happen. Leaning across the table would have been weird and I probably would have spilled her beer. Standing up and walking over would have been maybe OK but just not as smooth as I’d like. The solution was simple though! Stand up, grab her hand and get her up by saying let me see how tall you are! She stands up, I spin her, eye contact, makeout. Easy, I’ve done it a dozen times I just didn’t connect the dots last night.
Girl leaves, it’s 12:06, I have a choice. Keep going or go home. I think about my long term goals, about the models I’m going to date and the amazing women waiting for me. OK, I take the 15 minute walk to the bar my buddy is promoting at. Inside I quickly open the cutest girl there. I’m surprised by how well it goes. She’s interested, asking questions, getting close. In retrospect I needed to go for the kiss. I didn’t do it because I was caught off guard, my thinking, damn, this girl is super fucking cute and super into me! What’s going on here? I don’t know what exactly it is but I have to adjust and accept it. I’m getting more opportunities with more attractive women and I’ve got to be pulling the trigger.
After just five minutes of talking girl is leaving so I walk her and her friend outside. We chat for a few minutes then she takes a taxi home. Apart from not kissing her, my other mistake was giving her friend too much attention. I have a tendency to reduce the sexual tension with my girl by giving more attention to the friend. It’s not smart, it doesn’t help the pull, it’s weak-sauce. Should have maintained better eye contact, gotten closer, pushed harder for a kiss with sexy girl.
Go back downstairs, open two girls who bump into me. Immediately one is all over me. She’s flirting, laughing at my jokes and touching me. She gets so close that our lips are almost touching. Even though she’s attractive, I don’t kiss her for some existential reasons. She’s dancing with her girlfriend, as in girl she’s dating. In 4 seconds I suss out this situation. The girl who is into me is bi but she’s not really gay in any serious way. She’ll have this fling, move on and it will be a warm memory that she never tells her husband about. Her girlfriend is definitely gay, this is her lifestyle. Just by looking at her I immediately guess that men have caused her serious pain, she loves this girl and is acutely aware that she won’t be able to hold onto her forever. I could relate. It reminded me of college, when I would bring a girl around my natural buddy. 30 seconds later my girl can’t take her eyes off him and I’m just hoping I’ll be able to get her back at some point. All these things are running through my head, I decide to not kiss the girl, I stop speaking to her and they drift back into the fray.
I know that was a strange tangent but it’s an interesting topic for me. A large part of game is being able to put yourself into a girl’s head. Doing this tells you when to go for the makeout, go for the pull, back off, push harder, ask for the number, leave, don’t leave, whatever. I’ve developed this ability in the last year and it’s what allowed me to empathize with the girl above and decide to act accordingly. Game man, it’s a mind trip.
No more sets at the bar, I leave. Open at a cute girl on the subway platform, we talk for twenty minutes. By the end I just want her to leave. It’s interesting that logically we have an absurdly high number of things in common and should click, but emotionally it’s not happening. I question whether it comes down to me being in my head and reacting to her hot body, or if there’s just never going to be an emotional connection between us. Who knows, who cares, she gets off the train and 17 seconds later I’ve got some Jocko podcast going.
There’s this cliche about sweeping girls off their feet and that being the ideal. Well, in a way it’s true. The good interactions are the ones where I go into that set and bring good energy. I don’t depend on her for good emotions. It’s like I’m surfing a wave and it carries me into the set. This can be very subtle and it can even be happening while I’m just standing there, not talking, seemingly not doing anything. I’m just bring my vibe, my energy and those are the times that things go the best.
In general, I depend on finding girls who like to talk. My game is getting her to open up and share her life with me. I want her investing in me and sharing things with me that she would normally never tell someone she just met. This isn’t manipulation, it’s just me optimizing my own circumstances. Sure, I can talk for 20 minutes straight about a pebble if I have to, but that’s not ideal. For me, a good interaction will be the girl talking 70% and me talking 30%. Obviously this works both ways too, she likes to talk more, I like to talk less, we click!
Anyways, I’m just working through some ideas. I never imagined that game would be so nuanced. Now that I’m wading into the deep end I’m continually surprised by what I’m finding.