I went to the club alone last night. I got there about 10:50 because I wanted to be sure to get in, but it was too early. It was dead. My bitch brain kept me from approaching for about ten minutes, but then I overcame and started talking to an Asian girl. About midway through this conversation a sober, somewhat confident looking guy came up and started talking to the friend. Little bells go off. This doesn’t happen much, is he a pickup guy?
A few minutes later I leave the set, stand up and see some friends. It’s Tommy and his buddy who I had the crazy night with 24 hours ago. I shake Tommy’s hand, flick off his friend and tell him to eat a bag of dicks. He smiles and introduces me to a few more pickup guys standing around. Turns out the guy who approached my set is among them and I shake his hand.
The rest of the night is approach after approach. Notable sets include some German girls we talked to for 15 minutes, and another Asian girl that everyone took a shot at. Eventually one guy almost pulled her but she wouldn’t leave her friend. The friend she wouldn’t leave, I talked to her for 15 minutes. Solid six, solidly unattractive to me. Again, it’s the situation where this girl was into me, she wanted to make out, but I’m just not attracted. It seems to be the case that I can consistently generate attraction and pull opportunities with girls I’m not attracted to, but that rarely happens with anything I find remotely cute. It’s frustrating but I have a feeling it will change. I’ve never been so grounded in my life. I feel confident being me, I feel great being me!
Ultimately though the night didn’t end so well. At some point I slowed down on approaching, and then stopped altogether. I got tired, I got lazy, and when I did approach the sets didn’t hook. I was in a recognizable state where nothing hooks. I’ve been there before, I know it well but I have tremendous difficulty breaking out of it. With that in mind, the best lesson to take from last night would be looking at exactly when my night started to turn to shit, and how I can avoid that at all costs in the future.
There were a lot of pickup guys at the club last night, and for the most part they were not good influences. Not approaching, not great mindsets, and so forth. Nice enough guys but not the type to model behavior on. One guy in particular. I tagged him, said “Let’s talk to them!” Opened a two set and I thought he was behind me. 30 seconds later I see him just sitting on the sofa, staring at me while I’m talking to these girls. I have a hard time understanding this behavior. Later on I see him again. I’m fresh out of a set, feeling great, and about to approach again. Instead I choose to talk to this guy for a second. Well he sort of latches on and drags me into a conversation. So instead of using momentum and approaching, I end up speaking to this guy for a few minutes. After I escape from that I have trouble opening, my momentum goes down, I mope around, and the three or four sets I open mostly go like hell.
I’m not blaming this guy, I’m blaming myself. Instead of doing what I knew to be right, immediately approaching again, I let myself get dragged into a conversation with a bad influence. That was bad and it may very well be the thing that ended my night. It was the iceberg to my Titanic. So the lesson is that I simply cannot let myself get distracted by bad influences like this. Momentum is so crucial and I cannot let it get destroyed. It’s like spinning a plate, and I’m not good enough yet that I can get that plate spinning again once it starts to wobble. I have to do everything in my power to keep the plate spinning at full speed in order to have a great night.
Other than that, one set sticks out. It was just a couple of minutes long but I noticed myself fucking it up in a way that I didn’t have to. I opened strong, I had great eye contact, voice tonality, posture, everything. I was crushing it. But I started talking too much, qualifying myself too much instead of letting the girl invest in me. It’s interesting to see that running out of things to say has flipped around so far that now I sometimes talk too much. It’s not good game. I need to relax a bit more, be that attractive presence and let the girl get invested in me. Speak less, be more dominant.
The last set of the night was a drunk girl I met on the sidewalk named Jacqui. She was cute and she liked me. Eyes went to saucers after three minutes. Unfortunately she already ordered her Uber though. Maybe I should have jumped into it with her? I’m not sure. I know I need to continue pushing social boundaries but that’s way easier to write about on the page than actually do in the moment.
That was my night. All things considered I had a pretty good time. I could have pushed it further at the end and really hammered it out. But it’s fucking discouraging when I get into that shit headspace and can’t shake it. The more I go out, the less I expect to experience this which is fucking awesome. Tonight I’ll hit up him. The best PUA I’ve ever gone out with, hands down. If he wants to go out, game on. If not, I’ll probably do my own thing. Maybe go to the club early, get stamped, then run around Meatpacking for a while. Who knows, the possibilities are endless.