What I dislike about last night is that I’m not sure that I really learned much. I opened maybe 8 sets but I never did anything outside my comfort zone. So I got the experience of talking to some more girls, but I didn’t leave the club feeling like I took anything to the next level. Still, I think I can discern a few lessons. Let’s look at a couple of sets.
1. I opened a cute Asian girl and it was going fine. She was smoking and it was blowing in my face so I took her by the shoulders and moved her around to the other side of me so the smoke would blow off somewhere else, it was funny. She was into me but her friends were ten feet away and she said she had to go back to them. I think she was feeling nervous talking to a guy with them watching. So I let her go, which in retrospect I don’t like. Next time I would say “Two seconds, two seconds. I just have to ask one more thing.” Then I would move her a little bit and keep talking. I would basically use this opportunity to see how long I could get her to stay with me, after she said she had to go. That’s a good learning opportunity.
2. Talked to a girl in the entrance of the club. Then I opened her again on the dance floor. Then five minutes later I opened her friend by saying:
“This DJ is awesome isn’t he!”
Well the girl I already talked to twice picked up on this and said to her friend:
“That’s the same line he used on me!”
She had me there but I mostly ignored that and just kept talking. A few minutes later I saw this girl on the stairs and she smiled at me and looked like she wanted me to talk to her. Unfortunately I didn’t process that quick enough and the moment was lost. Anyways, the point is that great things come from engaging a girl multiple times. It sets you apart from the average drunken fool and shows that you really like her. What I need to do is start reapproaching a lot more. I’m nervous to do it, so I need to do it!
3. Tall skinny Russian girl. Didn’t speak much English and my Russian is so rusty that I couldn’t keep the conversation going so well. Regardless, my brain was shutting me down. I didn’t even think she was that cute but my cranium decided to stifle me anyways. Christ I hate that! My brain is not my friend. I start to talk to an attractive woman and it says oh boy, an attractive one! Let’s turn you into a total dork and shut down all of your awesomeness! That fucking whore.
*A good night is when I go out and do a bunch of shit that I’m uncomfortable doing. In the beginning that was just opening. Now that I’ve got that handled, I must do other things. That includes leading and reapproaching. Even though it’s uncomfortable in the moment, I feel 300% better when I leave the club knowing that I pushed my comfort zone.
*I’m being way, way too physical and I’m drastically cutting back on it. There’s no reason for my current obscene level of physicality. I’m very comfortable touching a girl, it’s not one of my sticking points. Girls can sense that, I don’t need to molest them to show it.
*Girls are bringing out the best in me. They respond to authenticity and honest expressions. So when I exhibit these behaviors girls like me, and when I don’t they tend to not like me. By talking to thousands of girls I’m basically letting them draw out my most admirable side while letting the bullshit fade away. Right now I’m just as eager to see how I can express myself more authentically as I am to get laid. What an interesting journey to be on!