What a night. I set out with the goal of learning just one lesson and look what it turned into. Four hours of fun and interesting conversation. I got to the club at 11 and it was dead. Very anti-social vibe going on. Everybody talking amongst themselves, nobody dancing, not cool. So I chilled for twenty minutes on my phone then decided to get started. I have my rule that I have to approach within the first 60 seconds in order to have a good night, and I employ that whenever I go to a difficult venue. However, this place I’m so comfortable and I enjoy it so much that it doesn’t really matter. I can turn it on whenever.
Open a set, no connection and I leave. Open another, no connection and she dismisses me. I’ve stopped seeing these as rejections. It’s more of a mutual agreement that we’re not right for each other. I feel it or she feels it, either way. Open another, it hits. Two girls from Germany. We have loads in common, the conversation is easy. I focus 75% on the girl I like but give a token 25% of attention to the friend. Two sets I can handle when I’m out solo, however, three sets I tend to not open as much. That’s dumb because what usually happens is one girl breaks off and the other two talk amongst themselves. I should be opening more three sets..
But this girl, we fit together very well. We joke about how we’re going to move to Texas, start a family, help build the wall, become intolerant to gays, go to church 3 times a day, and never have sex except to conceive children because sex is a sin. It’s so much fun. Zero fucking logic, I’m loving it. Then it gets tricky. At this point it’s about twenty minutes deep and we haven’t kissed yet. I get the feeling she doesn’t want to make out in front of her friend. This is actually a bizarre concept to me. I’m so used to doing whatever the fuck I want to do that other people’s opinions mean very little. I’ve destroyed friendships (-) and done insane shit like travel the world for almost two years (+) because I give about 0.002 fucks what people think. So I find it difficult to imagine why people care what others think. But girls do, and I’m realizing that, and so I waited to go for the makeout until the friend leaves. Finally she does and now I’m expecting it to happen. In this case all the girl needs to do is hold eye contact and not lean away when I go for the kiss and it’s on. But my girl won’t do it! I cannot get it to happen. I’m stretching my game to its breaking point and I can’t get it.
Finally I go last resort and just flat out ask:
“Do you not want to kiss me?”
She says no. And yet her doe eyes and our great connection / vibe says yes. I’m fucking confused. Although ultimately I know the solution. Kissing this girl just requires one level of game higher than I have. I’m doing something wrong and I have no idea what. In two or three months I’ll look back and understand it. We end up talking some more and then she leaves to go to the bathroom. I get her number and I’m shocked to see it’s 1:20. I’ve been talking to this girl for two fucking hours! It felt like thirty minutes! Time flew by because we were having so much fun together. It was such a light and easy vibe. Damn I wanted to kiss her though. It would have been so satisfying and I think the sex would have been great too. Sadly, no. I probably cared too much. I did everything I could but it wasn’t enough.
So I opened sets for another two hours. I never ran out of energy and that’s huge! Four hours of pickup. Why was I able to keep it up that long and do solid approaches right till the end? I think it was because I started the night so well by having so much fun with that German girl. Also, and this is key, I was at a venue where I never had to look far to see a good set. Sometimes on shitty nights I spend so much time trying to find something that isn’t a Krispy Kreme Kritter that I lose the vibe. Saturday night at this venue it’s sick, sick, sick. Lesson being, don’t beat myself up too much. The venue has a big impact on my ability to crush it.
*Talked to a girl who went to my college and graduated just one year after me. Very cute girl, I was punching above the belt. And because I was in a great mood she was into me. After ten minutes her friend dragged her away. Right before that I asked for her Facebook, she said:
“Why not just get my number?”
She grabbed my phone, put her number in, texted herself. Chances I ever see her again or she even texts back: so low. But still, I was pleased that I opened a very attractive woman and she liked me. It felt good.
*Spotting PUAs at the club is so fucking easy, they might as well be wearing bright pink clothing and holding up signs. However, these might only be the guys who are on my level or below. There may be more advanced guys who I don’t even recognize as PUAs. Good (great) game doesn’t look like game.
*I really enjoy going out solo and the freedom it gives me. But still, I would definitely consider consistently working with a wingman who is somewhere close to my level. I do that now with my one buddy but that’s usually only once a week. Going out solo is great but sometimes it actually feels a bit lonely. Everyone you talk to is a stranger.
*At one point I ended up talking to a dude. Really cool guy, we even graduated from the same school. I liked him and yet it felt weird. I was obviously in there to get the girl and that I ended up talking to him was odd. I want to relate to guys and have cool conversations but right now I seem to suck shit at it. Hopefully this gets better in time.
*Seeding the pull is my next big thing. A month ago I hardly knew it existed or how I could use it. Now I understand the power and how I can apply it. For example, in set I usually get asked where I live. I can answer by saying Williamsburg, then talking about why I like it so much. And one of the reasons is this fantastic Bagel Place that’s open till 6am that I love so much. And I can keep bringing this up and then I can say:
“I’m feeling hungry, let’s go get a bagel!”
And now the girl is more likely to be onboard because I’ve talked it up so much. It’s also not so sudden so she’s probably more likely to agree. Anyways, this is just in its infancy. Expect to hear more about it in the coming months as I implement it consistently.