Friday was the best night of game that I’ve ever run. In set I didn’t feel small eels of anxiety swimming through my brain. I just felt present, almost like I was meditating. Except I felt calm and relaxed in a bustling club with lights, fog and techno. The night started like this.
I met up with my wing and we went to a bar in the Village. I say this over and over, and hopefully I’ve made the point. In order to have a good night, I open the very first set I see. No exception, no thinking, no bullshit. I care 0% if I’m stuttering, shy without without eye contact, or full-out fucking autistic. Doesn’t matter so long as I open. Last night it was four girls waiting for a taxi. I walked up, opened, and nothing happened. That’s normal and I don’t even give it a second thought.
**Side note, I used to be exponentially more scared for every girl in the group. A two set was scary, three set scarier, a five set and my heart was jackhammering. After five or six months of going out this has radically changed. I’ve learned that bigger sets have loads of potential. It’s often easier to pull my girl away because all the friends talk to each other, and sometimes in a big set I’ll open one girl and then another girl who likes me more will start engaging so I’ll end up talking to her and good things happen. After seeing that happen time and time again I feel much better about opening large groups.**
First set out of the way we go into the bar. I grab a beer and open a cute girl. We talk and have a solid vibe but I pussy out. I could tell I should go for the kiss. But I’m scared of rejection. Fucking scared. You know what happened because I was scared of going for the kiss and “blowing the set”? I became uninteresting and “blew the set”. Pussy shit, next time I go for it. Cool girl too. I don’t want to say it’s painful to blow good sets like that, but it is rather frustrating.
I continue to open more sets but nothing sticks. That’s fine. I laugh at the days where I would do three sets and pat myself on the back. Now my thinking is that the first three to six sets are whatever and I’m pleasantly surprised when they go well. The real work begins after I’ve gotten into the club spirit.
We bounce and try to get into another cool club. Talk to some girls in line, hoping to befriend them and use them to get in. The first eight minutes of the interaction were solid, and the last three sucked. Totally blew it. I told a girl she was a stewardess, she didn’t think this was funny and it all died. But I felt frustrated because I know that if I had more game I could have easily gotten through this. The problem is that her reaction put me into my head. I could feel myself going into there but I was completely unable to get out. Uggg! As I get better at game I’ll naturally overcome this. But for last night.. Set was done, they didn’t want to be our friends and we didn’t get in to the club.
Tried a bar, more sausage than a German butcher’s. This other club is a long shot but since we’re in the neighborhood we decide to go for it. Thankfully my wingman opens the group behind us, they have two girls, we merge and all get in. This is why I love going out with good wingman! I opened the girls at Jane, almost got us in. he opened this set, got us in. We’re all contributing to having an awesome night.
We get up to the club and I immediately open a girl standing by herself. We talk for 20 minutes but I’m just not what she’s looking for. When I try to escalate she leaves. Ok. I talk to a few more girls, nothing hooks. Then my wingman opens a girl, I see the friend and I maneuver around all sorts of people to start talking to her. Long story short, I lead her all around the club and we’re having a good time. She’s really hesitant to kiss me and I have to keep trying and trying, but the third time she does it and we end up making out a lot. And it’s good and fun, but I believe (right or wrong) that if she took that long to kiss me, she’s probably not the type of girl who is down for bathroom sex.
So we move around the club more, meet up with the friend and my wingman, get kicked out because it’s 4:30 and they’re closing. We walk around outside, talk a lot, and finally at 5:30 the girls leave and neither of us pulls. I think my girl wanted to sleep with me but something logical prevented it. Boyfriend, period, judgment, I don’t know.
But here’s the most important point. I never felt so naturally confident talking to girls. I still felt small pangs of anxiety once in a while, but so much less than what I’m used to. It felt very natural to be in a club and speaking with an attractive woman. I felt myself expressing my real intentions. Not saying retarded shit trying to impress the girl. I was really and truly expressing myself, more so than I ever did in my life. And I can assure you that felt fucking amazing because I’ve worked really hard for it.
A few other points
*I was being so outgoing, expressive, and fun as hell with my expressions that she thought I should be an actor. That’s not for me, but I think it’s cool to hear her say that because my mentor Distant Light was an actor of sorts and I model much of what I do on him.
*It’s crucial that I don’t take any blowoffs personally. In fact I like calling them blowoffs not rejections because they really are no big deal. So what, it doesn’t work out with ten girls in a row. Whatever, number eleven may give me a blowjob in the bathroom. These things happen.
*Every week I seem to have a little bit more energy unlocked. I find it easier to approach and have a good time sober as a Mormon in Saudi Arabia. What a great change!
Six month progress report
A very smart dude said the following:
Your best set today will be an average set in six months.
So let’s see if this holds true. I started going out every night about six months ago. I distinctly remember my best set. I had opened less than ten women at this point. It’s a Monday or Tuesday and I go to an oldschool lounge. I held a very logical conversation with a Greek girl for ten minutes, then got her phone number without setting up any expectations of a date. I was thrilled at this result and cruised on it for several days.
Six months later and an average set is holding a logical conversation and getting a phone number. It hardly even registers. Hell, doing daygame ten days ago I got a model’s phone number and that was hardly even a blip on my radar. So it would seem that the rule holds true, which is exciting considering pulling a girl from the club is my best set now. So just imagine what my life will be like six short months from now…