My wingman said he would hit me up yesterday but that never happened, so I went out solo. When I got to the club I noticed that the vibe was really odd. I’ve been here maybe 50 times and I know it like my living room. Couldn’t place my finger on it, and I saw nothing that caught my eye, so I did the only reasonable thing. Put in my earplugs, sat on the sofa and read Osho for 30 minutes.Then I looked up, saw a cute girl standing alone, approached her.
Perfect height, blonde, nice. Loved her, unfortunately a friend stole her away several minutes deep. Two things I could have changed. My body language was not good, I wasn’t facing her directly. I was shifting around and it was very weak. Second thing, my eye contact was 97% fucking amazing. However… The 3% of the time it wasn’t great were always the most crucial moments. Just when a sexual vibe was building and it was about to get “uncomfortable”, I would break eye contact. I have a tremendous tendency to do this. In general my eye contact is spot on, but I’ll often break it off at key moments which kills attraction. I have to consciously force myself to maintain eye contact, even when I start to feel uncomfortable.
The rest of the night I saw exactly three more girls that grabbed my interest and made my dick hard. I talked to two of them. Both times the girls blew me off. I ignored this and focused exclusively on the fact that I saw a cute girl, she made me feel things, and so I talked to her. I can’t control her reaction.
*The number one question from last night is why didn’t I feel like diving into the process and making shit happen? Why did I feel so apathetic and have no desire to push comfort zones? A lack of wingman is one thing for sure. But deeper than that, I think it’s a belief that I’m not going to sleep with a woman, so what’s the point? The math says that I sleep with one woman for every 20 nights I go out, so realistically it is fairly unlikely on any given night that I’ll hook up. But I think I’m looking at it from the wrong frame. Instead of seeing it as valueless because I’m unlikely to get a certain result, I should be placing a focus on learning as many lessons as possible, so that in the future I can sleep with one girl every ten nights, then every eight nights, and so forth.
*Everything I do reinforces either the frame that I’m awesome (I approached, god I’m so fucking cool!) or I’m the prize (look at how she’s licking her lips when she sees me, or asking me questions, or laughing at my jokes. I’m such a catch, she’ll be lucky to find another guy like me). Think about how much better it is to consciously reinforce a frame like this, then it is to tell yourself over and over again I’m so bad with girls..