I really, really didn’t want to go out tonight. There are nights when you don’t want to go out, and then nights where you would give up pizza for a year if it meant staying in. I was feeling negative, a bit depressed, sure as hell wasn’t feeling like socializing. So I went out and socialized. In several years if we look at what made me get good it won’t be anything mystical. It will be the fact that I didn’t listen to my retarded fucking brain. I went out and practiced no matter how I was feeling. I like the quote “90% of success is just showing up.”

The Night

Get to Biergarten, my wingman is running late. I scope it out, there’s a few sets. See two girls sitting at the bar, go in. Turns out they’re both very attractive. I feel intimidated. I’m thrilled that I got myself out but I’m still in a less-than-ideal bumfuck state of mind. Because the women is very attractive I revert to an interesting behavio: I act like James Bond. I don’t smile, I drop my voice an octave , I stand ramrod straight. Totally stoic, totally untrue to myself, I feel like a cartoon. I eject after 54 seconds. I’ll give myself kudos, I got in there. Everything that happened after the opening was fucked, but I did approach!

I see two girls sitting down. I’d like to wait for my wingman but I notice that they’re almost out of beer. Doing lots of game teaches you to be cognizant of small things like this. I decide to approach in case they’re about to leave. These girls are sitting on a bench right in front of a table of five dudes, it’s great. If I crash and burn I’m going to do it conspicuously. I sit down, open, and they’re very receptive. It’s one of those brilliant sets where I make it look easy. The conversation flows naturally, there is some chemistry, it’s good. Eventually my wingman shows up and I introduce him. The girls finish their beer and as I suspected, they get up to leave. They’re going to another club. We say goodbye, they walk away. Obviously this was a mistake. I should have either gotten the number or invited us along to the next club. Preferably the latter. The problem with numbers is that I still have such an abysmal fucking response rate that I just don’t tend to get them. But bouncing to the next club, that had some potential. They’re gone though and I start up a conversation with my wingman.

Then I look up and one of the girls has come back. “What’d you forget?” I ask. “Nothing. I just want to say that my friend thinks your cute, and she wants you to know that we’re going to Two-Thirty Fifth if you want to come later.” I reply with “Well let’s just go there now!” So me and my wingman walk outside and meet up with the friend. In summary, we end up going to the rooftop of the Gansevoort instead, we talk, they bring some cool finance guy in who stays for a while, he leaves, we talk a bit, they go home.

Here’s the key takeaway: I sensed after five minutes that the girl no longer felt me to be attractive and I had no idea why. Nothing obvious happened, and generally if a girl finds you cute, as long as you stay chill and don’t do anything too stupid you’ll probably be alright. Well I messed it up. All I can think is that somehow I overqualified myself, over-invested, did something I shouldn’t have done. I went from being cute to being a nobody. Maybe it seemed needy that I would follow the girls to Two-Thirty Fifth when my wingman (friend) just go to Biergarten and they would expect us to have a drink there? Maybe in a girl’s mind it makes it seem like she’s more important than my plans with my friend. She’s the center of the universe. I really don’t know. Whatever I fucked up took place at a level above my understanding. Not that I care much about losing that girl, but I do wish I knew what I did wrong so I could fix it for next time.

Ended the night by talking to a girl leaning against a restaurant ledge in Meatpacking. Cute girl, she was into me. When I got close she leaned in, a solid sign. Didn’t get her number though before her co-worker showed up. That was a mistake. Next time I get the number while she’s alone.

That was the night. Regardless of how it turned out I’m thrilled that I got out there. Even though I was feeling like a piece of shit I still dragged myself to the bar, met some cool people, and ended up having a lot of fun. Solid night, one or two lessons, but mostly more questions than answers. That’s game in a nutshell at this stage in my career.

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