Second girl of the night was being kicked out of an area. Someone had bought the table and they needed the space. I walked up to her.
“Looks like they kicked you out right?”
She replies “Yeah, they told us we can’t sit here. It sucks.”
“I believe it though. You don’t look like you deserve to sit there. You look like a second class citizen.”
Usually after I say something like that I go on to say that I’m just joking and pull her in. But this time I didn’t. This time I said it, looked her in the eye, then just walked away. I wasn’t trying to be an asshole I just didn’t feel like continuing the conversation so I left. A few minutes later I was standing by some couches when she came up to me. With her friends watching she said,
“Excuse me, please get the fuck away from our fucking couches you piece of shit.”
I was taken aback for a second but then I shrugged it off, kept standing there doing my thing and left when I damn well felt like it. Ten minutes later I was talking to a Canadian girl and my wingman when the club manager came up, a guy I’ve spoken to half a dozen times in the last year. He had the girl with him.
“Hey buddy, it’s a free club. She’s a good person and can sit anywhere she wants, OK. We don’t want any trouble, just be polite.”
Now everybody around is watching us and the Canadian girl asks why the vibe just turned so ugly. It was like high school! I was punished by the principle because a girl couldn’t accept what I told her. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. An hour later this girl approached me a third time and asked where I worked. Presumably so she could call my workplace and have me fired, or at least that’s how I interpreted it. So why did it happen? I took away her validation and made her feel insecure. The best way for her to deal with that was to try and knock me down, which failed as I had an awesome night. At the end of it I walked past her and she had some random guy hanging on her back. She found someone to fuck her to bring back the validation.
I felt awesome before I got to the club last night. So when I opened the first girls I immediately led them and it went great. After meeting up with my wingman we opened three girls that we stayed with for more than an hour. This set offers the biggest lessons of the night.
About 20 minutes deep I had a chance to get physical and go for the makeout but I didn’t. I was fucking scared man, out of my comfort zone and I didn’t push it all the way. That was mistake number one. The even bigger mistake was chasing the girl. She had gone to the bar to get her credit card and I hung back, planned to wait for her to return. But I fucking didn’t, I walked up to her and asked a question. It was incredibly needy and killed any attraction. One of the reasons I did it is I didn’t know what was going on. I hadn’t created a plan and seeded the pull. Ending up losing this set and for good reason. Poor leading, became needy, fucked it up. Next time I would much rather lose a set because I went for the makeout and she didn’t like it versus lose it from being timid. Also, be clear in setting up a plan where we all understand what’s happening, who is leaving with who and why. That would have helped a lot.
Met a girl on the dance floor and we talked then danced. I pulled her in tight against me, I had a boner and I was running my hands all over her body. It felt fucking fantastic. Unfortunately, I wasn’t sure how to go for the pull here. She was grinding on my hard dick but she wouldn’t kiss me, even though I smoothly went for it several times. That made me think that if I tried to pull her straight out of the club with no pretense she would resist. So I decided to seed the pull. I said,
“What’s better, wine or beer?”
“Wine of course!”
“I like wine too. I’ve got an awesome bottle of it that I want to try out. Let’s get out of here and go see how good it is.”
She laughed and said no way. Later I told her about the cookie place and said we should go get a cookie. She said no way and eventually left. Interesting set. If she would have made out with me I would have pulled her to the bathroom. However, her refusal to kiss I interpret as her possibly having another guy or just not being interested in one night stands. Also, I give myself a C for how I seeded the pulls. I do better when it’s obviously on and all I have to say is let’s get out of here and she follows.
I had the best possible mindset last night. I felt great about myself and I didn’t care about the outcome. I was out for three hours, had several chances to pull but it didn’t work out. I didn’t care! I was fulfilled and happy whether I had a girl or not. This mindset is several magnitudes more enjoyable than the one where I’m obsessed with the result. And being obsessed with the result isn’t necessary! Last night I might have done a poor job of leading and seeding the pull but I did it none the less. I wanted to sleep with a girl, I just didn’t care all that much if I did. Inculcating this mindset is a top priority, right up there with effective leading.