The simple truth is that I enjoy going out with a wingman way more than going out solo. It’s easier to do more approaches, it’s easier to get into state, and it’s nice to have someone to bounce back to. Even if the wingman has zero game, doesn’t matter. Although if they do have game I realized how two wingmen working together could slay it. If it’s a two set and both girls are cute, forget about it. Two guys who know what they’re doing will make short work of that. That’s going to be happening soon, all I need to do is meet a consistent wingman who wants to crush it.
Speaking of crushing it, that’s not the adjective one would use to describe my night. Nor could you say hammered, pulverized, vaporized, ground, or smashed it. No, I weakly pressed it together. I hesitate to say that it was a bad night though, because I learned some good lessons. The night went like this.
Solo in Meatpacking Pt. 2
Get to the club at 11 and they promptly let me in. I haven’t been denied from there in a very long time. The coat check lady says “I see you all the time, I should know your initials by now.” I talk to some Swedish girls and they’re nice but they disappear to a table. I’m supposed to be meeting up with a wingman from Tuesday but he’s nowhere in sight. It’s still dead so I sit on the corner of an armchair and text some people. One of the cocktail waitresses drops a phone, looks at me and says “That wasn’t me!” I say “Yes it was, I saw everything. You’re done here, I’m talking to your boss, you are so fired.” She laughs. I’ve seen her many times and we know each other.
I wait ten minutes but no girls are showing up. Decide to go to the bar. Walk around the block, go into the bar for the sixty-third time in my life. Lesson number one right here. I see two girls sitting by the bar. Walk past, decide to not open right away. Decide to wait and see. Scope the whole bar, see that they’re the best set in the place, but when I start heading back they’re already talking to a guy. Everything moves fast at night, if you don’t open when you have the opportunity you will frequently miss out. This is hardly a revelation, it’s not a new lesson, but it’s one that still needs to be hammered home. Open when you can and your night will go much better.
Turn around, see two girls putting on their coats, about to leave. Walk up “Are you guys leaving already?” They look at me, the one on the left says “Yeah, we’re going to this club right now.” I say “Don’t do that, it’s dead right now. So dead. This bar is better right now.” So they stay and we start chatting. Just then my wingman, who I’m waiting to hear from still, shows up out of nowhere and starts winging me. Unfortunately this was the beginning of the end of my night. He immediately dominated the set and he got all the attention. My girl, who had previously been into me, was now focused on him. I wasn’t surprised. When we met at the bar on Tuesday I was more in state than him, I was more dominant in the interactions that we winged together, but I felt that we are at very similar levels in terms of game. Who is better may change on a night by night basis. So last night he was the one crushing it but unfortunately he got denied at the club we wanted to go to so we couldn’t game together. He stayed in that set for just five minutes then took off to LES.
I stayed in that set for another half an hour but never recovered. The set started off solid and I believed I was going to pull my girl. At some point though I started getting too invested, too quiet, too out of it. This is the type of interaction where if I had three beers in me I would have fucking crushed it. That situation is the ideal example of how alcohol can help you to succeed. That’s fine though, it just fuels me to get even better while going out sober (I haven’t had a drink since my New Year’s fiasco). After twenty minutes they left, went to the club. I opened maybe one or two more sets that night but nothing stuck. I was done, out of it. I probably could have recovered if I had a wingman, but solo I find it much more difficult. I used to give myself a hard time, you should be able to do this solo! What’s wrong with you? Yeah, fuck that. If I still need a wingman to have a stellar night, that’s fine. I’m eight months deep, not eight years.
A Few More Lessons
*That two set from the bar I talked to for half an hour, even though I blew it with the one girl, the friend was still flirting with me a bit. Later, I saw her again at the club, alone, and I didn’t open. I was feeling not amazing and frankly I think I felt embarrassed to have blown that set and I felt like a social odd ball. So I didn’t open her. Then, ten minutes later, she walked by me again, on the dance floor, alone! And I didn’t open her. That was really bad. I had literally nothing to lose and everything to gain. Foolish. Next time I have to forget any thoughts of being socially weird and just open.
*New York is starting to feel smaller. When I go out I expect to see people I know. Whether it’s a doorman, cocktail waitress, random PUA, whatever. I like that. It makes me feel like I’m home and it makes game more enjoyable. I like people, I like being social, I like recognizing people that I’ve seen before.
*If the lesson is that I almost always have a better night with a wingman, then go out with a wingman! I’m doing some solo stuff because I want to build up that side of my game. However, the results show that I typically end up doing fewer approaches and staying out a shorter amount of time than when I have a wingman.