After a good session of pickup my brain is shut the fuck down. I love that. No future, no past, just the G-Eazy in my headphones. Tonight was killer good. I purposely didn’t hit up my wingman, I wanted to be solo. I’m going to go out solo a majority of nights this month. I can accomplish more solo and it gives me more flexibility. I needed that tonight.
The bar was mostly dudes. Shitty crowd. Four or five opens but nothing stuck. Fist pumped the PUA who I introduced myself to last week. He’s there like clockwork every Tuesday. Saw at least two girls who I’ve opened before. Then I meet one girl and it clicked instantly.
I’m saying ridiculous shit, I have her laughing and smiling. I go in for the kiss but she dodges. And dodges again. And dodges again. This girl seriously didn’t want to kiss me even though she had a smile that would melt Putin’s heart. Really happy with how I went for the kisses though. It was top game for me. One motion swoop in while talking. I give myself an A+ for that. Eventually I take it too far with this girl, I say some shit that’s a little bit too nuts for her and she leaves.
At this point I’m ready to leave. It’s been an hour and I’m really happy with how I’ve been doing solo. Crushing it, maintaining a decent state, doing my approaches. So I grab my backpack and I’m walking towards the exit when I see one last set. Bam, in. I’m happily surprised to find out that she’s cute. We end up talking for ten minutes. Then she says she wants to get out of here, go to a better party.
“There’s one club that has the best Tuesday party. Do you want to go?” I ask.
She talks with her friend, they agree to it. Grab a taxi over there. Get past the door but they’re asking $20 cover for the girls, $40 for me. Fuck that, we leave. They have a drink at an Irish bar then we all go to another club. By now I’m making out with my girl and it’s going very well. The problem is the friend. She’s not having any fun. No guys are hitting on her and the club is one fire. That’s great for guys but shit for her because there’s 30 cuter girls getting hit on instead of her. My girl is happy though.
“Let’s get out of here, go back to Williamsburg.” I say.
“I can’t. I have to work tomorrow.” She replies.
She has to work, which I think I could plow past if she were alone, but the bigger issue is that she won’t leave the friend. Right here is the time where the path goes several directions. I’m at this club, it’s awesome. I can get this girl’s number, leave her and start opening. Or I can stay with her, see if the friend decides to call it a night and then I can pull and/or set up a date for this weekend. I choose to stay with her. This girl goes out a lot and I’m thinking she would be awesome club fodder. I know exactly one promoter and he does good venues but he says I need to bring one cute girl. This girl would do.
We leave, walk to another bar. I’m having a fucking blast, yelling shit on the street, making out with my girl. This is what pickup is about! Some discipline required to have the good moments but when it’s fun there’s nothing like it in the world. Get to the bar, shake hands with the bouncer who I’ve seen three dozen times. Make out with girl a bit but friend is fucking depressed. It’s 3am and she’s still trying to find somewhere “fun” to go. Refusing to let the night die. I eventually give up. Tell my girl I’ll text her, tell her we should hit up Williamsburg this weekend. Then I bounce. Fantastic night made all the more awesome by the fact that I did it solo.
*A majority of the guys I go out with are worse than me. By far the biggest fucking sticking-point I see is that guys don’t fucking stay in set. It blows my mind. These guys will come in for like twenty seconds or sixty seconds then just bounce. Wtf is this? Do you expect to get laid after knowing a girl for less than two minutes? It’s fucking frustrating because staying in set is one thing you can control. I’m not disappointed my wingmen aren’t getting makeouts (outside their control) but they can at least push sets for all they’re worth. As Trump would say: So sad.
*I’ve mentioned numerous times that I model myself on Distant Light. One of the things he does is dominate a venue by bouncing from set to set and engaging with amazing women. I’ve had trouble getting into this state. Saturday was close to it but I have trouble getting there consistently, night to night. Tonight I had it from the second club on, a feeling of pure awesome. I realized that obtaining this state is way, way easier at a good venue. At an average bar you spend so much fucking time just trying to find a set and wading through a sea of dicks. Once you find that set she’s usually short and not cute. Hardly inspiring. But looking at a higher end venue it’s easy to see how you could build an incredible state while hitting up these awesome women who are having a blast. This is important for me to keep in mind so that I don’t beat myself up too much for not obtaining awesome more often. Get into better venues and it will happen.
*I had muddled intent last night. I only wanted to pull my girl about 60%. That came through in my somewhat apathetic actions and lack of leading in certain situations. Also, it came through in me never trying to fix the friend problem so I could pull. If I can get my intent to pull up to 100% I’ll be able to do a lot more. This is important.
*Despite what I said about having muddled intent I would still very much like to sleep with this girl. So that means setting up a date, which I did a bad job of. Instead of setting up the date on an emotional high when it was just us in a bubble, I did it right before leaving them at the bar at 3am. I said I would text her, told her we’d do Williamsburg this weekend. Shouldn’t have waited till the last minute though, I looked weak. Should have instead done all this earlier and then bounced on a high note. I’ll still obviously text her but I think it’s only maybe a 25% chance we end up meeting up.
*Tim Ferriss brings up an interesting concept when he talks about leaving on a high note. In his life, that means if he has an awesome set at the gym he’ll leave right after, even if it means not doing a few more sets. He wants to spend the day internalizing the form of that last set and thinking about it. He finds this to be better for long term growth then getting in those last few reps. I can see the power of this. When I go home and my last set was shit, or I bitched out for ten minutes on approaching, I don’t feel good and I fall asleep with that. It would be better to have my general leaving time, then get out of there right after I do an awesome set. That way I spend all night thinking about it and all of the next day. This is a sort of esoteric idea but I think it holds a lot of merit.
*I really got along with my girl last night. I would be happy to spend all day with her. As opposed to the girl who I made out with on Saturday, who I didn’t click with. This is helping me to see that a big part of doing sets is just finding a girl who you click with. As long as you do a good approach and you’re in a good mood, she’ll want you to stay! That’s why I’m not really viewing “rejections” as such anymore. It’s more like a girl just recognizing that we don’t fit together and nexting me. Or me nexting her, whatever the case may be. I can see this pattern in a majority of the girls I’ve pulled. Apart from one or two, most of have been women who I would be happen to spend time with.