We had fun last night. Got to the club at 11:30 but waited in line till midnight. It’s a massive place, half music venue half nightclub. Haven’t gone there in months, probably won’t go there again for months. There’s no reason to. Venues like this with no door policy don’t attract the best women. Or men, for that matter. It’s mostly a bunch of NYC kids high on molly. That’s cool, but it’s not where I’m likely to meet the type of girl I want in my life.
Regardless, we had a fun go of it. There was me, my wingman, another guy I see a couple of times a month, a few other ancillary pickup guys, and him, who I haven’t seen in a while. We were all running around opening girls, high-fiving each other, having a blast. After about an hour my wingman challenged me. By now I had already opened about ten sets but my energy was beginning to flag. He reminded me that a key rule of one of the world’s most respected PUAs is to minimize time in between interactions. I know this, but I’m not living it. So I start living it and I open five or six sets in five minutes. I get an incredible rush, I feel like I’m on drugs. It’s really fucking cool! Here’s the kicker though. This state only lasts for five, maybe ten minutes before it fades. This sucks on a very pragmatic level. In many situations I don’t have an unlimited number of girls to open to keep this state going. NYC clubs are notoriously small and finding ten sets in a very short amount of time isn’t always easy. Especially if it’s something like a Wednesday where I may be lucky to find ten sets the entire night! So bitching aside, I’m just generally hoping that in time I’ll be able to stay in state longer and with less work. However, I am really thankful that my wingman pushed me to do that opening montage. It’s the type of thing that I wouldn’t push myself to do when solo.
The more I do this, the more I become aware of what I like and don’t like to say. A huge aspect of my personality is that I take almost nothing seriously and I’m always optimistic. So I’ll make jokes about having no money, having divorced parents, missing the subway, the pizza place not having my favorite slice, or whatever. I don’t take “hardships” and life in general very seriously. So the type of girl who talks about how she did bad on a test than looks to me to reassure her and tell her it will be alright, no.. I’m much more likely to say something like “Well, guess you’re going to have to drop out of school and move back to Kentucky. World needs plenty of rednecks though.” Some girls will laugh, some girls will look like at me like I told them I hope their mother gets cancer. So what I’m getting at is that about ten approaches deep I met a girl who I clicked with. I was expressing my unique view on the world, she was laughing her ass off. I immediately started seeding the pull by talking about my favorite bagel place in Williamsburg that’s open till 6am. She asks me:
“Is this how you pickup girls? You tell them about this bagel place then bring them there?”
Me: “No, not always. Sometimes I tell them about the pizza place instead. I’m not picky.”
It’s funny because it’s true. She laughs a lot. I bust on her for asking me this, I make fun of her for not having her own game. I tell her it’s the 21st century, gender roles are switching. Eventually the friend pulls her away but I reapproach half an hour later. Talk some more, she laughs some more, but that was it. I seriously fucked this up. I have no idea why but I kept expecting the girl to make the pull happen. I don’t know why I was waiting for her to take the lead but I was being dumb. I didn’t even lead, go for the number or the makeout! I was attracted to her, she found me funny, and I just flopped around like a dying fish. That’s actually pretty abnormal for me so I’m not flogging myself, just questioning why I failed to act? She turned out to be the best set of the night.
After that we kept opening but around 2:30 we noticed a serious lack of sets. We looked all over and couldn’t find anything to open even though it’s a massive venue. This led me to another realization. Even though NYC venues stay open till 4, there’s probably a sweet spot for pulling between about 12:30 and 2:30. Girls run out of energy or they get drunk and need to go home. Some of them are going to have crazy nights that stretch till sunrise, but the average girl will probably want to leave by 2:30. This has big consequences for me. I continually go on about my lack of energy and my tendency to leave the venue early. However, I’ve never defined how I actually want to fix that. I’ll change that right now. I’m going to focus on being awesome for three hours, every night I go out. Whether that’s 11 to 2 or 11:30 to 2:30. I’ll do whatever tricks or hacks I can possibly think of to make these three hours as kick ass as possible. Then if I want to stay longer I can, and if not it doesn’t matter. On this night though we decide to keep going.
We bounce over to another popular bar around 3. Get inside and open the first set I see. The girl is fairly unattractive but she’s giving me makeout eyes. Could have easily gone for it but what’s the point? I don’t have a strong connection nor do I find her beautiful. I go to the back of the bar and girl opens me. She tells me my beard is stunning and that I’m beautiful. She’s giving me makeout eyes too but she just doesn’t meet my standard. She’s pretty cool though and me and my wingman talk to her for 15 minutes. Finally her friend drags her away but she takes my number before leaving. She lives in Chelsea and has a bunch of cool friends so maybe I can find a way to work her into my expanding social circle. After that it was about 3:20 and raining. We call it a night.
In a report from last weekend I mentioned that I’m becoming more aware of the social pressure a girl faces and how she might not want to make out with me in front of her friends. That’s fair, good knowledge to have. However, I’ve let it swing a bit too far. I’ve noticed in the last day or two that I’m not going for the makeout because the friend is there. Shitty excuse. I have no idea, the girl might not give a fuck if her friend sees her making out. So my solution is simple. Always be going for the makeout, regardless of the friend. If it works, great. If it doesn’t, now I know that I probably need to get the girl in a situation where her friends can’t see. But what I can’t be doing is using this social judging as an excuse to not go for it.
*I forget to mention this in my report from this Friday. We were at a high end club having a swell time when a promoter came in. It was one fucking guy and he brought out 15 attractive women. Man, what a picture! This one dude chilling at a table with a swarm of women around him. This is the ideal picture of promoting for me. This is the dream fucking big scenario. I have zero motivation to be a C+ promoter who brings out two or three women and some cool guys. Fuck that. If I’m aiming for something I’m going for the top. I want to be that motherfucking guy who is bringing out 15 women by himself and being a fucking boss. That’s my goal, that’s what I’m willing to work very hard to attain.
*I found the results at the venue last night to be lackluster. Given how much I opened and how solid my opens were, I was surprised by how little went right. I think a big factor here is that this concert venue has zero door policy so it’s filled with the bottom rung of guys. Women are aware of that and treat you accordingly. As opposed to some of my more preferred venues which have some kind of door policy. In this situation the guy walking up to a girl could really be a millionaire or a well connected dude, so she’s more likely to be more open to the approach. As opposed to feeling guarded because it’s 1,000 drunk freshmen with fake IDs.
*To be 100% honest, I’ve never spent a second night in bed with any of the girls I’ve pulled. I’ve felt fairly insecure about this but I’m realizing that to some extent it’s out of my control. Of the girls I’ve pulled there were only 2 where the vibe was very solid, we got along well and we both wanted to see each other again. Unfortunately one pulled happened in Berlin and the girl was flying back to New Zealand the next day, the other pulled happened when the girl was flying back to LA the next day. This is a problem when you do lots of pickup in international cities. I suspect if you go out in a place like St. Louis, Denver or Cleveland than you’re much more likely to meet women who aren’t flying off to somewhere else the next day.
*I’m writing this field report on Sunday night. Earlier today I saw a cute girl in the coffee shop. We smiled at each other as I was coming in the door so I approached her. We talked for five minutes and it was great! Damn near 0% anxiety on my part, I felt cheeky and funny. However, I had to get to work and so I grabbed her number, told her we should get coffee soon. The vibe up to this point had been great, but the goodbye felt sort of off. That sucks because leaving on a bad vibe is never great. I would rather start with a bit of a bad vibe, change it to awesome, then leave on awesome. So one thing I think I could have done better is this. A master PUA said that you should get the number than stick around for a few minutes after that. It makes it feel like you’re already on a date and it sets you apart from every other guy who gets the number then bolts. So in this case I should have definitely stuck around for at least another thirty seconds or a minute. Next time I have to remember this. Regardless, high five for opening the cute girl in the coffee shop! That’s some awesome fucking behavior right there.
*Why the fuck am I not pulling every night? What the fuck is hold me back? I’m fucking awesome, girls like me, I have great logistics, I should be experiencing sex on a nightly basis. I must meditate on what I can do to kick more ass.