Seventy minutes flew by last night. I warmed up by doing the most difficult set I could find, and the rest of the night went great. It was my last night in New York for two weeks. In twenty minutes I’m taking a taxi to JFK and going to Ukraine for half a month. Hottest women in the world as far as I’m concerned. Should be interesting, but let’s look at a few things from last night.
The Oak Tree
I’m doing better with my posture and not leaning in, but I’m still not at 100%. I still feel myself leaning and swaying around too much. I don’t like this because it’s not good, strong alpha behavior like I want. Although, I will say that if a girl is tall and talks loud, that helps considerably. It’s the short girls who speak quietly that usually cause me to bend around in weird directions.
The Not Awkward Open
My favorite set of the night happened fifteen minutes into the night. I was talking to my wingman when I saw three cute girls and I said:
“We have to find a way to open them!”
It wasn’t ideal, they were closed off and two guys were blocking them. So I reached through the middle of this whole quagmire, held out my hand to one of the girls, and she took it. Now we’re holding hands in the middle of the group, everyone is looking at us, and I’ve never felt more at ease in my life. I was staring directly into her eyes with fantastic, unwavering contact. After everyone saw that this situation was cool, they let us be. Sadly the friends pulled her away after a while and I wasn’t sure what the exact move was. In retrospect I can see that I have to reapproach her later on.
We talked for about fifteen minutes, I tried to move her but that was a no go. I thought that it was on for most of the set, but at the end it became obvious that things were not going my way. I took her number anyways but I’ll never see her. One mistake I made was in moving her. She was sitting down and I tried to convince her to move with me while she was seated. Next time I would have her stand up first, ostensibly to compare heights, and then I would move her.
Super cute, fun to talk to. We planned our future together. I kept closing space, getting physical. The third time I went for the makeout she finally said:
“You know I’m not going to make out with you! I’ll be your wingman, but we’re not kissing.”
I should have taken her up on that offer. Wish I had, although it was already late and I had to leave. Next time though, if a girl offers, I will immediately lead her and go find some sets to open.
One thing I’ve pondered quite a bit is finding “illogical” things to talk about in set. Distant Light always talks about this, and I’ve wondered what he means. For a while I was thinking, does he talk about favorite colors or pizza or some shit?
No way to know, but I think that in terms of how I can be illogical, it means creating stories with the girl. Planning our future together. Kids, a dog, a house, what we’ll do for work. It can also mean talking about funny situations, like what would you do if a midget was hitting on you, or whatever. Regardless of what it is, I want to do more of this, and less of the talking about where we work, where we grew up, etc.
I give myself an A+ for opening everything last night. I would talk to a girl, she would walk away, three seconds later I’d open another one. Doing this illustrated that girls don’t care if you were just talking to another girl. I don’t know why I’ve felt like that’s a problem, but it’s really not a big deal.
Last night I felt like I was trying too hard to make sets work. I was filling in too many conversational gaps, I was being a little bit too extroverted and try hard. I think that by assuming attraction and knowing my own value I can effectively do less and achieve more. Stepping in that direction, one thing I’m interested in is speaking less and letting silence happen. It will feel awkward at first, that’s OK. The worst that can possibly happen is I blow that particular interaction.