Last night was interesting. I got to the club around 10:50, earlier than I wanted to but it guaranteed that I would get in. Gearing up for a long night, I broke out my 100% success rate opener. Sat down, took out my phone, aggressively browsed Instagram. I did this a month ago and a girl opened me. Last night I only got three minutes of phone time before a girl started asking me questions. She turned out to be Mongolian and a blast to talk to. I’ve learned that many girls, regardless of their looks, are simply not all that much fun to exchange words with. This girl was great and when she heard that I’m a writer she insisted on introducing me to her friend. I was pleased with this, especially since I found this friend attractive. I broke the ice by talking about work, but we ended up discussing Mongolia, Moscow, New York City, and geographically-ignorant Americans. She even spoke Russian which is just pure gravy.
About an hour deep we both get some water from the bar, the friend leaves us alone, I pull her against the wall and kiss her. She’s bad at kissing which is a let down, but she makes up for it by being very physical and running her hands all over my body. I thoroughly enjoy that. We end up talking for another hour, then we leave the club. Everything up to this point is fairly par for the course, few lessons to be learned. I’m doing stuff that I’ve done dozens of times before, not taking any risks. But once we leave the club the potential for learning begins. Let’s have a look.
Two nights in a room now I’ve pulled a girl out of this club and I haven’t gone for the full pull. There are a couple of
reasons excuses for that.
*Have to work in the morning.
*Think there’s no way she’s down for a ONS.
*I’m staying at a friend’s apartment in Bum-Fuck South Brooklyn.
*Don’t want to pull to her apartment and realize there’s no way it’s happening and now I’m way the fuck out of my way and have to spend 45 minutes on the train to get home.
Fair enough, but to get better I simply have to ignore that bullshit and just go for it. I have to go for the pull even if I don’t feel like it will work. Maybe I get to her front door and she won’t let me in. Maybe I get her clothes off but she won’t have sex. Maybe I end up not getting laid and just spent two hours trying and it’s 6am and I’m tired AF. That doesn’t matter though! I have to get that reference experience, there is no other way I’m going to get good. I have to practice dealing with objections, leading, and having ways to get around problems like roommates, friends, and LMR. Even if it means I pull a dozen times before closing, doesn’t matter. Honestly though, I don’t think I will pull a dozen times without closing. I think that I will close one out of every two times that I get as far as her apartment. So let’s look at what I fucked up last night..
I get out of the club and it’s me, my girl, and her friend who likes me and will not try to stop the pull. We start walking away from the club when my girl gets a text from her other two friends who are staying at her apartment. “We’re coming out now, wait for us.” My girl sees this and she wavers. “Should I wait for them, I don’t know?” She’s indecisive on it which is amazing, but I fail to act. My bitch brain doesn’t capitalize. I get her as far as the corner when I give up on trying to get her any farther. What I should have done is this “Hey, let’s just walk down the block. There’s a warm bar down there where we can hang out and wait for them.” We walk and end up outside the bar. “I don’t really want to go in. Let’s just go wait in the train station.” Get to the train station. “These trains take forever to come at 3am. Let’s just take the next one because we don’t want to wait forever. Your friends can catch the next one.” And so on, until I’m in her bedroom.
I will give myself credit though. I stuck this set out for the long haul, I never ran out of things to say, I was being interesting and cool. I was also doing an excellent job of engaging the friends and making myself part of the group. Finally, it’s not much, but when we got outside of the club I did say “Let’s go to the corner, I want to see the ice rink.” I get it, that’s hardly anything and it achieved nothing, but I had my mind in the right direction. I got her at least moving towards the train station before my nerves died. Next time I’ll take it even further and use some of the lines that I wrote above.
At any rate, I got her number. It will be interesting to see if she agrees to meet up next Friday as I suggested we should. I spent two hours with her, we had a lot in common, and I got her number on the street as opposed to in the club. We were both dead sober too. That’s about as ideal as it can get for a club number, so we’ll see.
1. You don’t need massive amounts of attraction to make shit happen. There is a threshold of “attractive enough” and if you cross it, you can lead and pull. You don’t have to be a PUA god or so in state that you feel like your on cocaine. It’s enough to be a socially savvy guy who is comfortable, calibrated and fun. Easier said than done of course, but none the less it’s not as hard as I imagined.
2. I have to wear earplugs. I got so much loud music in my ear last night that I had a headache for twelve hours and my hearing is still muted and fucked up. The more I go out, the less fucks I give if some girl judges me for wearing ear protection.
3. In the coming weeks and months a significant part of improving my game will entail working on everything that happens after I leave the club. Leading, dealing with excuses, dealing with friends, handling logistics, getting over LMR, closing. This is the upcoming challenge and I’m looking forward to working my way through it.