For three minutes I’ve been trying to pull Anna, who is wearing a black dress, but she refuses to leave with me. Keeps giving me excuses like “But my phone is dead!” and so forth. After trying multiple times and saying “Two seconds, two seconds, we’ll come right back” about 17 times, I let her go. Take a step back and talk with my wingman. She walks off towards the bar. I tell my wingman:
“I’ll meet you at the next venue in a second, but I want to get her Facebook first.”
So I go up to the girl in the black dress and hold out my phone, say:
“Hey, I’m getting out of here but first I’ve got to get your Facebook.”
She turns to look at me and I’ve never seen her before, it’s a different girl. At this point one could say “Oh, sorry. Thought you were someone else.”
You can play it off, act like you know her and insist on getting her Facebook. Which is obviously what I do, and I get it too. Funniest shit, who would guess. Be persistent enough, own it and you’ll get it. Feeling energized I bounce, meet up with my wingman at the next bar. He’s in set with three cute Swedish girls and I join in. We talk for ten minutes, one girl teaches me some Swedish swear words. I tell her that in Dutch people say “cancer” to mean “fuck”. It’s a regular cultural exchange. Then the girls leave and so do we. I open one more set in the doorway of the bar and then that’s it, night over.
But let’s skip back to the beginning. First set of the night I didn’t even have to open. I was in the staircase when a girl said hi to me, asked me if I was French. I replied I wasn’t, then I started breaking rapport with her.
“Get the fuck out of my country. Who told you that you can be here? Go back to your own place and eat a baguette!”
And so forth. Girls eat this shit up. She says I’m cute, I put her arm around me, we start walking towards the outdoor area and I tell her that “We would have beautiful babies together.” This set goes well, she’s digging me, but she’s also all over the place. I feel like I have to keep getting her attention every thirty-seconds. This gets old so I leave her and go downstairs. I open a girl and start speaking. Her friend is very rude:
“Get the fuck out. Go away, we don’t want you here!”
It’s actually surprising when you get this. 95% of girls will never be this mean or direct in the rejection. They’ll just do the “girls night out” or “nice to meet you” thing. But in terms of how it feels to get told this, it kind of sucks but in a way it’s good too. I’m seeking strong reactions. I’m being polarizing and if I want girls to really like me, it means that other girls will really not like me.
From there I transition to the girl with the black dress (see above). She’s from Alabama and I tell her:
“Do you have permission to be in New York? Go back to your fucking state with your car on the cinder blocks in the front yard and your chained up dog. I bet that you have a pet goat and milk cows for fun. Etc..”
I’m actually, genuinely concerned that I’m taking it too far but she eats it up. Of course this stuff is great and makes the interaction fun for me, but you also balance it out with some real conversation and questions. I’ve learned that if you only do the craziness then there’s no meat to the conversation and girls might think you’re funny but they’ll never take you seriously.
So I develop a real conversation with this girl then I move her to a new spot in the club. We talk and talk then I seed the pull by suggesting we go get some cookies. A few minutes after bringing this up, I go for it.
“Come on, let’s go get some cookies right now! That’ll be so good!”
I get her as close as the exit of the club but it’s a no-go. Simply not happening. I persist like a motherfucker but there’s no way. Her phone is dead, she’s here with two friends, she has an 8am flight, and so on..
*This is minor point but interesting none the less. I was with that French girl who opened me and she wanted to smoke. Asked me if I had a lighter. I didn’t, then I changed the topic. However, she left me to go find someone with a lighter. So in the future when a girl asks about the lighter, I would say no, but then I would take her hand and go find someone who did have one. It’s an easy chance to lead, solve a problem, and you avert the problem that she may leave the set to find someone with a lighter.
*I love that twinge of fear I get in the club because I know that by doing that thing that’s producing the fear I’m going to grow. For example, I felt that fear before opening the girl where the friend blew me the fuck off. Great! I think to myself. A chance to open this set and get better as a human. Same thing with going for the pull. I felt a good deal of fear about trying for this (I’ve only pulled a girl out of a bar a couple of dozen times and so relatively speaking it’s foreign territory) and then I did it! God it feels good. I got the reference experience and I’m happy.
*I’m working with the new idea of pulling without ever having made out with the girl. A majority of my pulls I’ve already made out with the girl, but that doesn’t have to be the case.
*Mere exposure effect is huge. The coatcheck girl and the main bottle service girl at my favorite club both adore me even though I hardly ever talk to them. But I’ve seen them over and over. This has led them to like me / trust me? It’s one of those things of girl attraction I don’t fully understand. Like a guy can see a fat chick 1,458 times and not like her anymore than a skinny cute girl. But a girl seeing you over and over definitely has some effect.