Let’s broad-stroke it. Last night I went to the club and opened maybe 8 different sets. I was there for about two hours then I went home. Fuck that club. Friday night and the place was mostly empty. That wouldn’t have even been such a big deal if it wasn’t for the sound system. Obviously night clubs are loud, you deal with it. But this place was too fucking loud, I couldn’t hear girls when they were almost shouting in my ear. Loudest club I’ve ever been to, lousy crowd on a Friday, I won’t be back for a long time.
Now that I’ve bitched about that and made myself sound like a person who takes zero responsibility for their own life and blames everyone and everything else, let’s look at some interesting aspects of the night.
1. State crash. The last few days I’ve been experiencing this marvelous state at the club. It’s fucking fantastic but it’s fragile, like a fat person’s self esteem. So last night I was about four sets deep, having a great time, feeling awesome. I was talking to this British lady and it was going great. She was there to see the DJ and said:
“You have to dance with me at the front of the club!”
Bam, take action. I grab her hand, say “Ok cool! Let’s go there.” And start leading towards the front. She doesn’t move her feet. She says “Not right now…” I feel silly and my awesome mood collapses like the dreams of so many failed actors. I go on to have an enjoyable night but I never get that really awesome mood back. I don’t let that stop me, I’ll still open and do the work. But given the fucking choice I really, really would prefer to act in a way that allows me to keep my good state, especially since I game sober and I’m just as likely to be out solo as I am to have a wingman.
What I see state coming down to is acting through my own intentions and not seeking a reaction from the girl. I base my feel good feelings on how I act, not how the girl responds. Takes time to develop, I’ve got time..
2. Leading a cute blonde girl. One of the first girls I saw in the club was this skinny blonde chick who instantly gave me a boner. But she was dancing all out with some hipster dude so I didn’t go in. Twenty minutes later I saddle up next to her at the bar, say:
“You’re not allowed to lean on the bar here.. I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”
That goes over fine and we talk for a second, then I lead her to the dance floor where I promptly fuck up all attempts at physical escalation. It was embarrassing (from my point of view) how poorly it all went. Tried spinning her, tried to get her in close, tried clawing her, it all sort of fell flat. Next time I wouldn’t mess with the dance floor. Instead, I would pull her, back myself up against a wall, pull her in. I’m leaning against the wall feeling solid, it’s easier to make solid eye contact because I’m not worried about people running into me. That being said, I give myself props for leading her and doing my best to make something happen, even if my best wasn’t good enough.
3. Shitty eye contact. I noticed that my eye contact was supremely sub-part last night. I was not doing a good job of holding it and creating sexual tension. It’s funny, on this glorious night where I pulled the most attractive girl yet, I was keenly aware of how amazing my eye contact was. I have to keep this in mind going forward. The fundamentals. Witty openers, seeding the pull, polarizing words, all this great stuff isn’t worth a Cambodian hooker if I don’t have the eye contact.
4. I did a solid job of opening more than normal. After 90 minutes in the club I was feeling knocked out a bit and my wingman had bailed for entirely invalid reasons. I was feeling ehhh and this is the point where I almost always go home. Instead I opened two more sets. I know, not really such a big deal. But it was a big deal in a sense because once I reach this point of the night I almost always go home, or I stay a while longer but I don’t open. But last night I didn’t… I did something totally new and better… Game is built on 1% improvements over time and last night was a great example of that.
5. Lack of belief. It’s been almost exactly a month since I last pulled. The worst part of this isn’t even the lack of sex, it’s that my brain starts to think I’ll never pull again and all the other pulls were completely flukes and I should give up and go become an alcoholic short stories writer in Key Largo. Tempting, but I think I’ll keep going. I just tell myself that the results will come when I’ve earned them, pulling is not a fluke, but at my level of skill the stars do need to align before it happens. Also, there’s about an 80% chance I could have pulled this Asian girl on Thursday if I just lowered my standards a bit. So I can pull, I’m just choosing to hold out for better women. That means developing better game and that means going out more. At it…