One set went really well last night. I was talking to her, she was into me, I thought things might happen. Then her friend dragged her away to the bathroom. I figured she’d come back but after ten minutes I assumed they just left the club. The DJ was playing some exceptional deep house so I danced for a while, until I saw two girls walk in and go to the bar. The only question was would I open them at the bar or wait till they had their drinks? I kind of wanted to open them while they were getting drinks just because it’s harder, a bit more awkward, but it’s good practice. However, I decided to wait so I opened them two minutes later. Not that interesting, less attractive closeup than from a distance.
Dancing some more when I see the original girl who it was going well with. She’s talking a normal looking dude. I’m thinking Should I go up and open her again anyways? She looks like she likes talking to this dude, what if she’s pissed I interrupt them? I don’t think this was a rational concern though, more like a bitch excuse. I was scared to re-open… But then she sees me, smiles, and I come over. Start talking again, get her a bit isolated from her friend and I start getting in close, going for the makeout. But she refuses to make eye contact. So I do something that I’ve never done before and call her out.
Me: “Hey, why won’t you make eye contact with me?”
Her: “I’m sorry, I’m so awkward!”
I try going in for the makeout again, she’s acting like she’s into it but then she just runs away. Maybe I was being too dominant or maybe I wasn’t being dominant enough and I should have pressed even harder for the makeout. Who knows.
I open another girl on the dance floor but it’s a very weak open. We’ve already seen each other many times, made eye contact twice, there’s no where did you come from? In it. I say ridiculous, stupid things and she’s cracking up. But I’m aware that you can take things too far and when I try to get more serious she tells me that she’s not interested. Fair enough, it was a very weak open. I do one more set and go home.
*The amount of mental resources that I devote to learning game is way to fucking high. I’m thinking myself insane over this. Am I getting good fast enough? Am I fucking up? Will I ever get good? Why am I not pulling more? What am I doing wrong? Am I destined to be alone forever? Should I take a bootcamp? And so forth.. It’s fucking nuts. I’m essentially taking the fun out of game because I’m so worried about all this crap. I really need to take some deep breathes, chill the fuck out and let things happen. I also need to balance my life again. 7 nights out a week is too fucking much for me right at now, at least at this stage. I need a night or two a week to get my fucking life together, not think about game or what venue I’ll be hitting up, and just chill the fuck out. So while this 30 day challenge is cool and I’m learning a lot, I’m also driving myself crazy way more than I need to.
*I need to be re-approaching more. I’m scared to do it which means it’s exactly what I need to do. Man, I love being afraid of shit, it’s my compass. If we weren’t afraid of things how would we know in which direction to go?
*Just talked to a cool pickup guy and it looks like me might get an apartment together in Manhattan! Psyched as hell for that. A good situation like that would make it much, much easier to pull.