I was out solo again last night. It’s getting to the point where I expect to see at least one person I know every time I go out, so I was surprised when I didn’t see any familiar faces. Even my friend the cocktail waitress wasn’t there. No excuse to not execute though, and I put my system into place. It’s a simple system, it helps me have kick ass nights while out solo, and it consists of two parts.
1. Approach a set within the first 30 to 60 seconds of getting into the venue.
2. Never go more than 5 minutes between sets the entire night.
So within 30 seconds I was talking to an older woman who turned out to be an employee there. She looked high up. This interaction was very short and I left quickly. In retrospect I would have done two things differently. I would have introduced myself and I would have told her that I love the venue. She was probably a manager of some kind and she may have been my ticket to getting unlimited access to this club. I more or less have that now, but it never hurts to make that foundation more solid.
Open a cute French girl, it’s going good. Then her friend comes in. I introduce myself, ask her how she likes New York. I think it’s going well then the friend pulls my girl away very suddenly. No warning, no goodbye, nothing. One second she’s there, the next second she’s not. That was a fuckup on my part for letting it happen. I should have seen it coming and I also should have moved my girl earlier. Lesson learned. She was the cutest girl of the night.
I’m dancing when I see this cute girl leaning against the wall looking at her phone. My brain’s immediate reaction is to say don’t go in, I’m scared. I love that! It means that by going in I’m going to get better because I’m overcoming some irrational fear. There are times I won’t approach simply because I feel nothing at all. But when I feel that fear, that’s when I get excited. I go in, she’s German, we talk for maybe fifteen minutes. I fucked it up though. I fucked it up because I should have left after two minutes. I found this girl about 0% interesting. She was cute but also a ditz. I wasted 13 minutes of my life on her that I’ll never get back. Since there were very limited sets last night this isn’t the end of the world, but on a night with more sets I should never spend so much time with her. As I mentioned in an earlier report, my frame is that I’m approaching to see if she’s cool. Her being attractive is necessary to get my attention, but it’s not enough to keep it if she’s a dud.
By now I’ve been at the club about an hour, I’ve approached a majority of the girls, I’m ready to go home. Then a guy opens me and it turns out he’s into pickup. He tells me how he runs sets and asks me a few questions. Then he opens a set and I wing for him. It only takes a few minutes for everyone to realize that he doesn’t have the goods. I’m carrying the set and drawing all the attention. Eventually he shuts down and bails, which I’m partly responsible for. My ego got the best of me. I felt myself drawing in his girl, in addition to my girl, and I kept doing it. I ignored him and drew the attention, as if to prove my awesomeness. I’m not really pissed about this, I’ve put in my dues to be able to do this. However, I wasn’t really interested in either girl and this guy had mentioned that he goes out to a high end club sometimes. Since I’m always on the lookout for hookups to the good clubs I would have actually preferred to have ditched that set and talked with him. Seen if he would introduce me to some door people or promoters or whatever. This is something to keep in mind for next time. Choose the guy (even if he’s not very good) over dominating some set and growing my ego.
Last set of the night opens me. It’s Karen, who I met two weeks ago. She told me she had a great time at the party I invited her to on Thursday. She’s a cool chick, I’ll definitely invite her out again whenever I have something going on.
That was the night. I stayed for about seventy minutes and opened a bunch of sets. Had fun. No makeouts so I broke my streak. Thought I might go three nights in a row. That’s fine though, I’m happy. I’m building up the solo game muscle.
*I think I’m going to instigate a 90 minute rule. As in, I must stay out for at least 90 minutes. Even if I just end up sitting on some couch and scrolling through Instagram, whatever. But I have to physically be in the club for at least 90 minutes every night.
*On any given day it’s not uncommon for me to see a dozen or more model quality women as I walk around Manhattan. I tend to hang out in Meatpacking and Soho where models seem to fall from the sky. That’s why my next big thing is going to be doing subway and street approaches. I know I can do it. My heart rate doesn’t even jack up thinking about it. I just have to make a conscious effort. Make a rule that I see a girl and I go straight in. One problem here (that I thought of as I was standing six inches from a Russian model last night on the train) is that I’m not sure what to say. In the nightclub I say goofy stupid shit like it’s going out of style. Girls eat this up. But I don’t think telling a girl that:
“I’m going to kidnap you so that you can live in my closet”
Is quite the right move on a crowded subway. Maybe just a compliment opener? I’m going to think about this and find an answer. By having a simple opener that I don’t have to think about I’ll relieve some pressure on myself. And I know that once the conversation starts I’m more than capable of keeping it going.
*I must have made a good impression on Steph from last night because she agreed to go out with me this weekend. She could theoretically flake, but I think not. A bazillion girls have not texted me back, but once one does text back and agrees to meet up it’s very rare for he to cancel on that. Psyched!