I didn’t actually get a blowjob last night. Just heard G-Eazy sing this as I was walking home last night. I resonate with the dude. He only has about half a dozen songs that I really, really like, but I listen to them all the time. Anyways, here we go. Last night I went out to the Tuesday spot. Walk in feeling a bit stifled but I know it’s no big thing. I’ve done this so many times that I understand I’ll snap into a social mood pretty quick. I start by opening some Brazilian girl who I’ve already seen twice. In fact I wrote about her in this report. Tried to lead her and fucked it up. Never went for the makeout. Not my best set ever.
Keep it going, keep keep it going. See the Jewish girl who my Israeli buddy fingered in the club way, way back. It’s the second time I’ve seen her. This Tuesday spot draws a regular crowd. I say what’s up to the Turkish PUA I always see there. He’s a handsome dude but his English is so fucking terrible, I don’t know how girls understand him haha. At some point I open a girl named Sarah. I go for the makeout in less than a minute, it was very smooth although I didn’t fully, fully commit. Basically my actions were this: I unapologetically went for it 95% of the way then stopped at the last 5%. Who knows why. Probably because this is still a fairly new behavior for me. She’s surprised and smiles but never lets me get that close again. The set ends. I open another set of two girls. One is cute, one is not so cute. I speak to the cute one for about ten minutes but it just didn’t go anywhere. I feel like this is a common complaint among PUA guys. Conversations that lead nowhere. To change that I could have been more overtly sexual and started seeding the pull. Also, I never tried to lead! I noticed that I’ve been getting very fucking bad at this. I’m doing great going for the makeout but I’m doing a D- job at leading. I think it’s because I’m scared to lead lest it fuck up the set by her saying no. Even though I’m fucking up so many sets now because they’re fizzling! Lead homie, you’ve got to lead more. Anyways, at about the ten minute mark I say something to the girl and she replies with:
“That’s the rudest thing that anybody has ever said to me ever and you’re a bad person.”
I decide to put that set on the back-burner for the moment being. I walk around the bar but there’s not many other options. The results may not be there but I’ve done an A+ job of opening set after set. Even the difficult ones, even the ones my brain didn’t want me to. I haven’t owned a pair of Nikes in years but I just did it.
I’m about to go outside, check the smoking area, then grab my shit and bounce when a friend walks in. Super cool dude who I met at the club a few weeks back. Total natural, had no idea pickup is even a thing, he just talks to girls because that’s who he is. So we chat and then we start opening. A lot. I fucking love this dude because he opens motherfucking everything. Do they have boobs? They get opened. I embrace this philosophy but I rarely see its full potential because I pretty much never go out with wingmen who embody it. It’s hard to open everything with a wingman who isn’t doing the same. After a while the night slows down and the vibe decays. That’s why it was so fucking sick to work with this guy and just tear up the bar. He would open, I would open, we were having a sick time.
Of course within fifteen minutes we’re back to the set where the girl said those mean things to me. I find this to be hilarious, my friend talks to her and I take the less cute friend. By now my state is awesome and then it gets even better. I start saying absurd shit to this girl and she’s laughing so hard it looks like she’s about to start crying. It’s the most I’ve ever made a girl laugh at the bar. This pumps my state until I’m at a level that I’ve more or less never reached before. It’s fucking nuts. At this point the friend who said bitchy things to me before is ignoring my natural buddy and focusing on me.
“What’s he saying! I have to know, it must be so funny!” She says to me and the friend.
Which of course it’s not, I’m talking about ice cubes and hipsters. But the vibe and state of mind that I’m in make it funny. However, I make a mistake at this moment. I freeze out the cute friend. I dismiss her with my words and body language and just keep focusing on the friend who is laughing at all my shit. Two minutes later the cute friend pulls the girl to the bathroom and then when they come back they refuse to talk to me and my wingman. So basically what happened is that by freezing out the cute friend I decreased the group vibe of everyone having fun. I cut down on the fun. I did it partly because my wingman liked the cute girl and I didn’t want to draw her to me, partly because she said mean things to me earlier, partly because I was just acting insane and not giving a fuck about anything. Next time though I’ll include the other girl in the jokes, bring in everyone and raise the whole group dynamic to a new level. No freezing out the friend.
After that set the night ends. It sounds like an exaggeration but I do believe that apart from a few girls hanging out with massive groups of guys, we opened every single set in that bar. This sucked because I was in an awesome mood and wanted it to continue. I ended up going home and not being able to fall asleep for two hours because I was so amped up.
*Opening everything is the key to getting into a fantastic state. Open a set, see how it goes, then if it’s going to New Jersey (hell) I can bounce but I have to open something else within five seconds. No judgements like she’s with guys or there’s five of them. Nothing, just see the girl and open. Do this for twenty minutes and it feels like you’re on cocaine. Although, I’ll say that it’s much easier to do with a wingman who is in the same state of mind. Not only does he give you the kick to do it, but I noticed my own state getting pumped up when my wingman opened. It’s like we were building a group dynamic of motherfuckingawesome.
*I would argue that I could probably learn game faster in a place like Vegas where I could have nearly unlimited sets to open every night. New York bars and clubs are fucking small and surprisingly shitty for such a fabled city. I’m at the point where I’d like to have the option of opening twenty or thirty sets in a night and my current situation doesn’t allow that.
*One thing I noticed with my natural friend last night is that he doesn’t seem so damn preoccupied with thinking fifty steps ahead. He opens for the hell of it and to have a blast. If it leads to sex, swell. If not, then next. This is a solid frame of mind. I tend to open already thinking about the close which just distracts from the presence of that moment. Fuck that. If the set is going well I’m perfectly capable of leading it to sex, but I don’t have to be thinking ten steps in advance all the time.
*That state I was in was fantastic. One of the cool things about it is how easy it made everything. If I could stay in that state for extended periods of time it would be inconceivable that interactions wouldn’t lead to sex. My entire vibe was coming from the angle of pure fun, pure awesome, pure greatness. Sex would be a huge win-win situation for both me and the girl and it would be downright silly for her to try and stop sex from happening. Right now I can only seem to stay in this loopy cocaine like state for a few minutes at a time, but I have faith that in time it will get better.
*One of the core aspects of Distant Light’s approach to becoming an awesome man is that you should never be chasing the women or “trying” to get her. You just be awesome and let the chips fall where they may. Which, if you’re awesome, is sex more often than not. One aspect of this that DL talks about is “biasing the outcome” AKA saying things to try and get a certain reaction instead of just saying whatever the fuck you feel like and seeing what happens. I’m definitely guilty of trying to bias interactions towards going well. It’s a subtle point and one that I’ve struggled with for about a month, but I think that I’m starting to get it. Fuck saying things to get a reaction, just express yourself and see what happens.
*I’d like to do a 30 day challenge for April but I’m not sure it’s a fantastic idea. I already live and breathe pickup and to go out even more would be a detriment to my other hobbies. Monday is basically my day when I spend hours reading, writing, studying German, catching up on sleep, and putting my life together. Maybe what I can do instead is find a party happening on Sundays in Williamsburg and go out to that. Six days a week instead of five. Or maybe I’ll just say fuck everything and go out every night in April.