Yesterday was perhaps the most interesting date of my life. It’s the second time I’ve gone out with this girl and I really thought I was going to get laid. We talk about sex a lot, among other things, and it was implied she was coming back with me tonight. But her friend from London was coming in the next day and she didn’t want to come back with me. Which also has something to do with my awful logistical situation, I live on the other end of Manhattan from her, nearly two and a half hours away.

In any case, even though I left the date feeling weird, disappointed, and frustrated, it was still a good learning experience. She said several interesting things. After I drank a few beers I started getting more physical with her. She shut down some and said she didn’t like that because it seemed to her like something I do with all girls, and it made her feel like she wasn’t special. That’s some solid girl logic, but that doesn’t mean it’s wrong. It’s something to keep in mind.

We also talked a lot about assholes. Most of her life she has gone for assholes, they make up most of the men she’s been with. I’m confident and outgoing, but most definitely not an asshole. Right now at least. So we spoke up about why is she even attracted to me if I don’t meet the typical standards for her? This, I can assure you, is a surreal conversation to have. You’re on a date with a girl, three beers deep, talking about what exactly she’s attracted to, why you don’t fit that criteria, but why she likes you anyways, and why she would find you more attractive none the less. Compare that to talking about music or some shit. Mind melting stuff.

So that was last night. Do I go out with her a third time? That’s a decision I have to make. Does she even want to see me again, despite all the times she told me how much she likes me? Our “relationship” is like a rubicks cube that I’m not sure I even want to solve.

Notes

-There are so many types of girls that drawing comparisons is virtually useless.
-This girl unlocked a little bit of my inner asshole last night. My asshole side is still a wee baby, but I’m feeding it and letting it grow. Developing it will allow me to become more attractive to a wider range of girls.
-Situations like these force you to question what you really want in life.
-Never has anyone made out more in a movie theater then I did with this girl last night.
-I think that I’ve taken the red pill.

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