An interesting new challenge is remaining cheerful going out alone every night. It’s sometimes hard for me because everywhere I go I see big groups of people, or even small groups, all going out and drinking together and having fun. Then there’s me. Out alone every night, doing my approaches. I never had that many friends in NYC, then 21 months abroad cured me of having any. This is just another challenge to overcome. I need to get better at meeting people and joining groups, so that I can feel included in shit.
Last night my brain totally fucking quit on me. Outside of my control, it just said “___, you’re going to be totally out of state and not have any fun tonight.”
“Fuck you brain! Go to hell, and take your shitty emotions with you.”
I go to the Brassmonkey, walk upstairs and approah a group of three girls. I’m actually really happy with how I ran this. I talked to the one I liked, mostly ignored the others. Also, I didn’t eject. I kept coming up with stuff to say. It might not have been interesting, but I still stuck it out. After a few minutes they went to the bathroom, and I felt awesome. I didn’t do another approach the whole night. Instead I went up to my hotel rooftop club and danced for half an hour. It was the most unstifled, and GOOD, dancing I’ve ever done. Then the DJ had a stroke, started playing bad 80s disco music, and I left.
I did one approach but I’m actually REALLY Happy with myself. I overcame my brain, I got out, I did it. Then I even managed to have a redicously good time dancing. Good stuff. Super excited for tonight at Cielo.
-Sometimes my brain is my friend, and other times I feel like turning him over to the gallows.
-I’m learning pickup almost entirely without alcohol, I feel great about that!
-I still would really like to find a wingman who wants to go out every night.
-Dance floor game. When I learn it, I’m going to have a whole new world of possibilities.
-I really enjoy just focussing on the girl I like when in a three set. It’s more fun for me.