Last night was fucking awesome. 80% of my sets were flying open, girls wanted to talk to me, I was having a blast and three and a half hours flew by. It was just about the best night I’ve ever had. I look forward to six months from now when this will be average. By that point I’ll be hooked on pickup instead of still feeling (sometimes) like it’s something I’m forcing myself to do. Anyways, I’ll break the night down into experiences. These are out of order, I’m writing them as they come to mind.
*Wingmen. I met up with a new wingman who has good game. A nice refresher from my normal guy who’s just learning the ropes. I also ran into another guy I like a lot, a guy who takes no action (never saw him in set), and him. One of the highlights of the night was defending my set from him. We have some history here. The first night I went out with him I let some French baguette-stuffer steal my girl. He chewed me out and told me not to let that happen again. So halfway through the night I was in set with this cute Czech girl and he came up and started talking to her, I acted immediately.
“Don’t talk to him! He’s a bad influence. He’s a bad person.” I say as I spin her. Then: “Let’s go up to the roof. Come on!”
And I lead her and her friend away from him as he stands there. That was pretty cool. Ended up making out with this Czech girl on the roof, which leads me to the next point.
*Pickup dogma. I’m actively distancing myself from certain pickup beliefs. I think that as a whole the community is amazing and has benefited my life tremendously. However, there are certain things that I don’t like. Most of all, the obsession with getting laid and racking up the lay count as if it determines your worth as a human being. For example, this Czech girl. She was cute, she said I was “so hot” and I probably could have pulled her. However, there was zero fucking connection. Some people you click with and other people you don’t. With this girl it felt like there was a chasm separating us. Even though we both were attracted to one another, on a deeper level it was like forcing a hipster to live in Midtown, just no fit. So I simply didn’t want to pull. I was having a blast at the club interacting with all sorts of other girls. Very respectable chance I could find another girl to pull, and even if it didn’t happen I would still be cool with it knowing that I had so much fun and did so many approaches.
Another thing is guys. The community doesn’t talk about this much, but the general vibe seems to be, at best, that some guys are cool and, at worst, that all guys should be AMOGGED and/or are chodes. I don’t like that. It means that every time I walk into a venue I’m predisposed to believing that half the people are not my friends. Fuck that! Everyone is my friend until they prove otherwise. As I mentioned in my last field report, I plan to start going out solo a lot and talking to guys may be a crucial part in building an unstoppable night.
*Makeouts. I keep bringing up that I need to go for more makeouts. I did a fairly good job of this last night, I give myself a B-. I could have done better by going for the makeout faster and earlier in the set. This was big. A couple of very good sets died of old age because I didn’t go for the makeout in the first few minutes. I waited which makes it worse. I’m going to make a subtle point though. Waiting doesn’t have to make it worse, however, girls can sense that I want to go for the makeout almost ASAP. So when they sense that and then see me not do it, that’s me acting against my intentions/being a pussy and this turns them off. If my intention was purely to talk and then makeout later, then the interaction may be fine. Fuck that though, makeout within the first five minutes. That’s my game.
*Acting vs. Being. I was reading an excellent post which seemed to be written just for me. The author talked about how he went from above average to absolutely crushing it with women. He said something along the lines of this:
“I got used to generating attraction in a girl pretty quick. However, I often felt like I had to sleep with her before she “found out” about me and my act. I had to get her into bed before she discovered that I’m not really “that guy” and deep down I’m not the person she thinks she sees. However, when I changed that to truly being that attractive guy, everything changed and my results with women skyrocketed. All it took changing my true character to be that guy so that I never felt like I had to hook up with a girl quickly, because the longer she spent with me the more she would be attracted.”
Paraphrasing but you get the idea. This is big for me. I see this belief that “I must get her into bed quickly” in myself. I believe that if we spend too much time together she’ll see through me and run away. This is a shitty mindset and not productive. I will murder it slowly until I am, on a fundamental level, that guy that she’s been waiting her whole life for.
*Building a good night. Last night was fucking awesome because I made it awesome. It wasn’t a random chance. I went to the club and I approached the second I walked in and for three hours I never let myself go for more than 5 minutes without approaching. This was absolutely key in creating this awesome night. It’s also the offspring of my failure to generate an awesome night at the club on Thursday. That night had all the makings of awesome but I let it die by going to long between approaches. So I’ve learned: never more than 5 minutes in between sets! Or better yet even 3 minutes! Maybe in a few years I can chill a bit more and still dominate, but right now I can’t do it. I have to keep approaching to keep it epic.
*Improvements. I definitely could have done a better job screening for logistics and then seeding the pull. I was having a blast talking to all these girls but I wasn’t in full-on pull mode. I wasn’t dangerous in the sense that she’s getting fucked tonight. More like she’s going to have a really cool five to ten minute interaction then go on her way. So I could do a better job there. Start off by screening for logistics and then leave set if they’re shit. If they’re good then I can figure out how I’ll distract the friend, I can seed the pull, I can lead, and then I can get her out of the club.
*Social proof. My social proof at this club is growing quickly. All of the door guys recognize me, I haven’t been denied in months. The coat check girl knows my initials. Last night the cocktail waitress, who I’ve talked to half a dozen times, made a point of coming up to me and telling me her name. The elevator guy knows my face and always gives me a what’s up. This is great because this place is easily my favorite venue in NYC. All I need to do now is formally introduce myself to the door guys and get their names. Offer them some gum, offer to get them a drink from upstairs, whatever. Do that and I should be able to come in whenever I want and skip the line. Massive social proof if I do that with a girl.
*The Distant Light Game Plan. If you read my stuff you know that my inspiration is the gentlemen who calls himself Distant Light. In this post I wrote about how he’s influenced me and in this post I provided about 150 pages of his field reports for your reading pleasure. Well, he’s written a book, and you can buy it for $17. And it’s awesome.. Inside DL provides actionable, practical advice which is priceless. His field reports are gold and they offer a window into his mind and attitudes. However, they don’t provide a road to becoming the next DL. This book does that and I’m already integrating it into my lifestyle. The meat of it is approach everyone, guys and girls, and keep the interactions short, 1 to 5 minutes. However, that’s like saying you build a car by welding the frame together and sticking an engine in. To really discover more, check out the book.