It used to be easier to push my comfort zone. Everything was scary so getting better was brainless. Now I have to pay attention because doing scary shit is more subtle. For example, tonight I was speaking to an Asian girl. My wingman opened the set, all signs were go and so I moved everyone to a new area. I was speaking to my girl and instead of continually throwing words at her, I backed off. In an area of the conversation I would normally fill in, I said nothing. This was actually scary because it’s unknown territory. But it went well, she filled in the gap and took up the conversation. This moment of fear was extremely brief but I think it’s really important because it gives me an idea about how to reach the next level. There’s this moment where the conversation is about to go awkward so I ask a question, just as the girl is about to ask a question or say something. This happens all the time and I’ve been ignoring it, but I think that if I pay careful attention I can let the girl invest. And if shit goes super awkward, so be it.
Another girl I opened and it was quickly on. We clicked and she thought it was incredible that I’m an American who learned to speak Russian. I ended up staying with this girl for about an hour. I tried to kiss her about half a dozen times but she kept turning her head. Flirting a lot, but never giving me the kiss. Lesson here. While I enjoyed the conversation, what I really wanted to enjoy was sex with her. I found her very attractive. So in the future I would run things differently. I would be more bold and go for the kiss sooner. I would make my intentions clear and if she really wasn’t going to kiss me, I would not spend an hour with her. In retrospect it seems that the only reason I stayed so long was that she was very good at leading me on and making it seem like she would eventually be down for something, which never happened.
Apart from that I have nothing. I was out for 3 hours and it felt like 30 minutes. Perhaps I opened half a dozen girls but I really only remember the Asian girl and the girl from Kazakhstan.
The biggest lesson is that I should be paying careful attention to my actions and monitoring for areas where I can push my comfort zone. It’s no longer as obvious as when I was starting.