Quick report from a few nights ago. We went out on a Wednesday, me and two of the guys. Second set I came in and I made out with my girl. Fifteen minutes later I pulled her out of the rooftop lounge, moved her to another bar down the street. That was closed so I suggested we grab some beers and head back to her place. She was uneasy about it and said she wanted to go back to the first place. So we did, made out a bit more, I got her number then bounced. This was a good interaction because I learned something important.
I pushed too hard to get her to leave the lounge with me. She kept saying we should just have a drink there, with my friends and her friends around and a nice atmosphere. Eventually she agreed to leave with me because I’m awesome but it wasn’t the best move. As soon as we got out of the club that nice vibe we had died, it got super logical and cold. I hadn’t built enough comfort yet. I should have taken into account that her friends were also her roommates, it would have been easy to grab a drink with them, walk her her home, ask to use the bathroom, ask to see her bedroom and bam, closed.
I didn’t really think all that through so well, I was so focused on getting her to another bar that I didn’t see the big picture. Good lesson to learn.
One other thing, I notice that I often push girls away from me. That is, I’ll close space in order to go for the makeout and girls will subtly back away and sometimes after ten minutes we end up nine feet away from where we started! This is a doozy for me. On one hand I’m doing the right thing with closing space and getting near to her. My increased numbers of makeouts show that I’m on the right track. On the other hand, it’s weird when I feel girls slowly backing away. And so I’ve obviously experimented with not closing space or even with leaning slightly back and trying to draw her in to me. But when I do that the space doesn’t get closed and it doesn’t get sexual. So this is a thing for me, trying to figure out this interesting aspect of game.