2 am on Collins road in South Beach. I just experienced four hours of Goose and coke, I’m wasted. I’m leaning through the open window of a car, yelling “Give me back my fucking wallet bitch!” when the guy starts driving. I start running with the car, as drunk as Hemingway, until he’s going too fast and I fall out of the window. I made it about forty feet, but I had to give up on ever seeing my wallet again. Most disturbing about this entire experience is that without a wallet, I don’t have an ID and I can’t get into all of the bars and clubs I was planning on going to. Fucking alcohol. I don’t think these things happen when you’re sober. Interestingly I wanted an epic experience to mark the slowdown of my drinking for 2017. A go out with a bang type of thing. I suppose I got more than I wanted.

The truth is, alcohol sucks. It costs money. It causes hangovers. It’s unhealthy as fuck. When I’m sober I want to meditate and reach books. When I’m drinking or hungover I want to eat cheeseburgers and watch South Park reruns.

Anyways. Last night wasn’t all bad. I talked to women the whole night. Women from New York, women from Miami, women from other countries, women from this country. The whole night, hours and hours of women. I made out with a model but I was too drunk to think about pulling. My brain was not switched on. I made friends with a guy and I wanted his girl but I didn’t go for it. She kept talking to me but I wasn’t sure whether my guy friend wanted her or not. Decided to not be a dick. Noticed that I’m going for makeouts more. I just kind of go in for it, and if the girl turns away then I just go a bit farther and whisper something in her ear. Virtually no downside. In perfecting this I can see how I can consistently get makeouts and multiple makeouts a night.

I don’t know what I’m going to do about an ID. Maybe I can get a parent to send me an extra driver’s license if I have one lying around. I love Miami but I miss New York. I miss my clubs and my cool friends. I miss Le Bain with the weird looking door guy who never fucking smiles. I miss dollar slices of pizza and ignoring the fuck out of homeless people asking for money. I miss not having to see so many fucking Ferraris and Lamborghinis which remind me that I’m a have not.


Anyone in South Beach have an ID I can borrow for a week?