Quite a few lessons tonight. I hit up three different wingmen but nobody was going to the bar. Heard about some Valentine’s day party at a new club in Meatpacking but decided to not risk it. If the party sucked then I might be stuck in Meatpacking on a Tuesday, which has historically not been a good move. So I head out solo to the bar. Listening to the audio book Relentless on the way there. It’s my personal bible. I listen to the entire book on repeat, as soon as I finish it I start it again.
Inside the bar it’s crucial that I approach within 60 seconds. With a wingman I can get away with not approaching right away. Solo, I have to fucking do it. And I do. She turns out to work for the bar but I had no idea. Doesn’t matter, I talk for 2 minutes then leave. Approach two girls who turn out to be Russian. I feel like they’re into me but honestly I can’t hear a word they’re fucking saying. I’ve gotten really fucking good at responding to a girl when I can only hear 50% of what she’s saying. These girls though, I can hear like 20% which is not enough to bullshit around. I bounce.
Walk towards the door, see a cute girl, open and I stay in for an hour. I tell her we would have cute babies together. I tell her to go back to Atlanta. I make fun of her for liking pepperoni pizza. And so forth. After sixty minutes she’s ready to go and her two friends are leaving with her. I walk outside with her, get her number, hug her goodbye, go back into the bar.
The whole night I’ve seen some creepy Indian dude opening girls. He opened my girl’s friends twice and they don’t like him at all. I feel about 3% bad for him and 97% happy that that’s not me anymore. I’m not a god of pickup yet, but I don’t really creep girls out and make them want to leave ASAP. Anyways, I see this guy open two girls sitting down and get blown out almost immediately. I come very close to talking to him, telling him some basic stuff like correct his posture and don’t physically open if the girl can’t see you do it. But I decide not to. Instead, I do the right thing and open the set he just got kicked out of.
Talk to the girl for 15 minutes while her friend talks to another guy who just approached. They leave, they have to do shit in the morning. I open another set with this borderline drunk guy. He bails after three minutes even though the girl liked him. Typical. I used to do the same. I open another three sets or so but nothing is solid. I’ve about exhausted this place, I’ve been out solo more than two hours and there’s maybe a 50% chance I’ve secured a date for Saturday with my girl. We’ll see. Lot of notes from this night.
*I missed an opportunity to hook up with my girl that night. The one I talked to for an hour. She lives 10 minutes from the bar, she’s walking home (with her 2 friends). I walked out of the club with her, she was really into me, but I just settled for the number. What I could have easily done is say I’ll walk you home. Her friends are cool with me, 80% chance this goes over fine. I get to her house Let me just use your bathroom. 2 minutes and I’ll leave. Use it and step out. Let me see your bedroom, is it nice? Bam, in the bedroom, close the door, ten minutes later I’m inside her. This is truly next level shit for me. I would feel like a hero to pull this off. It’s not even that it’s that technically difficult, it’s that it goes against an entire lifetime of programming. Society doesn’t teach you that this kind of shit is possible. But it is, and I missed a chance last night. Next time I have to go for it. Even if it means I get to her front door and she won’t let me come in. Fine. I’ll learn a lesson and I’ll be happy to have it.
*Even though I’m beginning to get some very good results, I’m not any happier. Not that I need to be, I’m a very happy person and I feel great about 97% of the time. It’s just sort of interesting to see that as I accomplish my goals and start to become what I’ve dreamed of becoming, I’m not reaching some new blissful state of nirvana.
*In order to keep growing, I have to keep pushing the boundaries. This actually used to be easier when I sucked more. Back then most of my interactions only went for a few minutes anyways so I didn’t give a fuck about blowing up an interaction by trying some edgy stuff. Now that a majority of my interactions go well and routinely last 10 to 20 minutes, I’m more hesitant to try that same edgy shit which might blow it. Tougher to toss 20 minutes down the drain then 2 minutes. That being said, it’s crucial that I keep doing things which I think may ruin the interaction. Probably half the time the interaction will be fine or even improved, and the other half of the time I’ll learn a lesson. I’m in this for the long term. I can afford to throw away dozens of 20 minutes interactions if it means learning this skill on a deeper level.
*Tonight was my best night out solo in my life and it was an empowering experience. I did about 8 approaches and I spent 90% of my night in set. Crushed it. I still like having my wingman but it’s a relief to know that I can go out and perform even if I’m by myself. In fact, in one way it was easier in that I didn’t have to think about my wingman. I could stay in set for an hour and not think twice, no biggy.
*By far my biggest fuckup of the night was not going for the kiss with my girl. I had a golden chance about 30 minutes deep. The friends went to get more beers, they left us alone. I sensed I could kiss her. I put my arm around her, got her a bit closer to me, but it never happened. I simply thought about it too much. Instead of swooping in smoothly for it (like I talked about in this report) I went in halfway, came back, went in, came back and so on. It was just pussy shit. It was not smooth, it was not how an alpha male would handle things. So my solution to this is the following. When I sense it’s time for a kiss, I don’t start leaning in closer and closer. Instead, I start talking, spin her, put my arms around the back of her neck, and go in while talking. Smooth, smooth, smooth. The most important point though, the real fundamental point, is that I go for the kiss in one smooth action. I don’t go in and out, getting closer and closer. Fuck that. Go in and get it in one swoop.
*Learning this shit means deprogramming so many deeply ingrained beliefs. This separates pickup from other skills. For example, I learned to speak Russian. That was difficult, but it was simple in the sense that you just had to learn shit, you didn’t have to unlearn a billion false beliefs perpetuated by movies, diamond commercials, songs, parents, friends, silly women, and shitty advice columns. Oh pickup, we love you though..