One of the first girls of the night was French, tall, skinny and cute. I talked to her, my wingman talked to her friend. Pretty quick I noticed that this girl was interested and we started making out. We did this for a few minutes then I started leading. Took her with me to the bar to get a glass of water. Then I took her downstairs to the dance floor where we made out a bit more. Then I said,
“You know this place has a bathroom with an amazing view. Let’s go check it out.”
I led her to the bathroom, took her to one of the stalls, pushed her in and locked the door behind us. Nothing happened. We made out a bit, I tried putting my hands underneath her dress but she wasn’t having it. I thought about taking my dick out but she wasn’t having that either. After two minutes I felt like the vibe had turned uncomfortable. With almost zero reciprocation from her I felt like I was being way too sexually aggressive and forcing something on her that she really didn’t want. It was not a good feeling, I didn’t feel like we were both winning. So we got out of there, back upstairs. I suggested we leave the club and go to the cookie place but she wasn’t having it. She walked off a few minutes later.
In terms of how I handled this the only thing I would change is I would make out a bit less upstairs and keep some more sexual tension so that there was more of it in the bathroom. Overall though I think that what I did was very good, I pushed my comfort zone.
I’d lost my wingman and I opened a girl standing by herself and smoking a cigarette. She was surprisingly cute and decked out in a revealing black dress which gave me a boner. We talked for a while then I started to lead. First to a different area upstairs, then to get water, then I suggested that we leave the club and get a cookie. She said,
“And then we’ll come back here afterwards?”
I hesitated for a second then said “Yeah of course.”
But she instantly picked up that I didn’t really believe what I was saying. She could tell that if we left the club for a cookie we were not coming back and she said no. As I mentioned here though my prerogative is to stay with the girl for as long as possible. So I kept dancing with her, kept getting closer although she deflected all my attempts at a kiss. I led more and 10 minutes later pushed for the cookie again. Same thing, she was so close to saying yes, she even took a few steps with me, but then her logical side took over and she said no. That was it, she left for the bathroom and I never saw her again.
If I could do this set again I would change several things. I would build up more comfort and lead even more before I went for the pull. I would also back off with the physicality. I would give her one hug, close space one time, then after that just remain the cool guy. It seems likely that by trying to go for the kiss so much I made it clear that cookie = sex and her logical side said no. Whereas if I had been more casual there would have been more guessing and I wouldn’t have been seen as a sexual threat. So after the cookie and I say I’d like to grab a drink at her place there’s more of a chance it will happen.
Four pickup guys at the club last night. I met one of them upstairs when my friend introduced us. He shook my hand then saw a girl walking past. Grabbed her and said,
“I’d like you to meet my friend Leon. It’s his birthday today!”
I took her hand, said “Hey, it’s my birthday but I don’t want to talk about it. Getting older is not cool, I feel shitty about it.”
She replied “How old are you, 30?”
I looked her dead in the eyes and with a serious face said “I told you I didn’t want to talk about it.”
She put her hands on my head, reached in and gave me a long kiss on the lips then walked away. I told my wingmen “That has never, ever happened before. There’s a first time for everything I guess.” It was a cool moment. Things like this reinforce the frame that girls love me.
Girls Love Me
In general last night I caught a lot of girls making eye contact and staring at me. I didn’t feel like I was on some new level of state or even all that amazing. I think girls were staring because of my above average body language. I’m really focusing on this and the more I do the more I realize how important it is. It’s the foundation upon which attraction is built. I was watching a few infield clips and the thing that struck me is how great the instructor’s posture is. Their chins don’t reach past their chest. If they need to get closer to a girl’s ear they’re doing it by bringing their whole body in, not pecking with their head. Brad Branson always said “As the guy you’re the oak tree and she’s the little squirrel running around it.” I think that’s a good analogy.
We opened who the hell knows how many other sets. I was at the club for three and a half hours and I spent a majority of that time hitting on girls. I can only think of one other lesson to talk about. End of the night and I’m waiting for the elevator. I notice a girl glance at me then start to primp her hair and strike a pose. She wants to get opened so I do it. What struck me is that I had that amazing tone of voice where’s it authentic expression, not me trying to sound cool. I think this happened because it was the end of the night and I wasn’t trying, I was just being casual. I had this same thing happen on this night and I ended up taking that girl to a hotel bathroom and hooking up with her.
This tone of voice is hard to describe. It’s just me being normal and that sounds like it wouldn’t work so well but it’s incredible. As opposed to my voice when I do pickup, which isn’t really how I talk in real life. My pickup voice is a bit lower and I’m controlling the tonality, forcing it to be more breaking rapport. Man, all I can say is that if I could consistently reach the point where I have a natural tone of voice / mindset with girls then getting laid would be effortless. I think these brief experiences are awesome though because they give me a clear idea of what to aim for and what the next level will be like.