I learned a lot last night. Here’s the first important lesson. Me and my wingman get into Le Bain around 11:30 and it was sort of dead. But I see two girls sitting on the couch and immediately I open. It turns out she’s very attractive and a great person to talk to. I’m beginning to get the idea that even taking looks out of the equation, I genuinely enjoy talking to attractive women more, they’re more engaging. But then five minutes in her friend needs to go to the bathroom, she says “Sorry, we’re going to the bathroom” and that’s it. The lesson here is I took no action. I didn’t go for the number, I didn’t maybe try to lead them to the bathroom? I was a wet papertowel and the result is that I missed out on ever seeing this beautiful, easy to talk to woman again.
The new rule based on this: always take action. Either go with her and stay in set, or get the number.
The second lesson is this. It’s about 2:00 in the morning and I’m just chilling on the dance floor enjoying the awesome DJ. Two girls walk up and start dancing right next to me. Within 5 seconds I open the cuter one and we start dancing. We’re vibing, she’s asking me questions and keeping the conversation going, everything is solid. I can tell it’s on and I’m quickly going in, getting close, less than a minute from making out. Then her friend grabs her and pulls her away, even though my wingman was dancing with her. This woman was a serious killjoy.
Ok, so that sucked. But here’s the same problem again, I didn’t take action. Her friend pulls her away but just to the couches 15 feet away (5 meters for my European homies). So I could reopen, but I don’t. Then they walk past and go to the bar, and I could reopen, but I don’t. And then some other guy opens her and I’m facepalming myself. Take action!
So that was pretty much the end of that set. Here’s a question though. This happens once or twice a week. Talking to a girl and she goes somewhere else. Friend pulls her, she has to pee, she sees a friend and runs off, whatever. How long do you wait before reopening? Different wingmen all usually say to wait a bit otherwise it looks needy. But in my experience in game, every second you wait is one second more where a girl can disappear forever, start talking to a guy, change her mood, whatever. With that in mind it seems to make sense to say fuck appearing needy, I’m going back in now. Thoughts?
Finally, I want to say I started implementing table game last night. I got a drink (a big fat cup of water) walk up to a guy standing by a table and say “Hey man, you look like a cool dude. Can I buy you a drink?” He replies “Thanks man, but I’ve got a whole bottle” and I say something stupid like “Cool” and then a few more bland comments and I eject. I literally had no plan for what to say after the opener and it was pretty awkward. But I tried some bottle table game, it went fine, and I’ll continue to refine it. I also spent 3 minutes talking to the night manager for Le Bain. So all in all a solid night with some valuable lessons.
-Don’t ever expect the girl to take action, that’s always on you as the guy to make something happen.
-I genuinely enjoyed chatting up guys last night, I’m going to do it more.
-Doing a set the very second I walk into a venue is so, so crucial for me having a good night.
-I really enjoyable myself last night, even if I didn’t have any great external results.
-Learning game is like learning Russian: it’s complicated as hell and takes a long time.