The thing about making progress is that it happens so gradually that sometimes it doesn’t feel like progress at all. That’s game for you. It’s an infinite series of 0.02% improvements. The “secret” to game is to go out and approach as many nights a week as possible. People ask what the “secret to success” is. I read a lot of books and I’ve found out the answer.
Hustle. Do the work.
It’s that fucking simple. All the tricks, knowledge, good material, sales courses and fancy consultants mean nothing if you don’t work hard. I’m not making this shit up. I’ve “known” that hustle is the secret to success for a while, but I just read in a book that after interviewing dozens of highly successful people, hard work was rated the number one determiner of success. That’s good, because…
I hustled tonight, I put in the work. I opened twenty-five sets. We started at the usual weekend spot in Williamsburg. It was surprisingly dead. Get inside and I started opening everything. I bounced from set to set with no more than ten seconds in between. It was glorious but the results were not there. Probably too early in the night, girls still wanting to speak to friends not stranger. After opening a majority of the sets here we end up leaving to go to another bar.
Get there and start opening. Sets aren’t really sticking though. It’s weird, I’m in the zone, feeling good, doing great approaches but things are not going as well as I would expect. I wonder if it has something to do with my wingman? He has little game and can hardly hold a convo. I wonder how much that affects the interaction in general? I remember last Tuesday opening with my natural buddy and the vibe was electric, you could have run an air conditioner off of it. Tonight was the opposite. So I get the feeling that a wingman can have a noticeable effect, especially since girls often check to see if their friends are having fun.
Around 2am I find a cute skinny blonde girl and stay with her for twenty minutes. We vibe, she gives me makeout face, her eyes look like she’s on molly her pupils are so wide. I go for the makeout but it’s not smooth, it’s not the right moment. I fucking know it’s not the right moment but I go for it anyways because I have to go for it, I can’t just ignore it. She turns her head away, I act like nothing happened and we talk for another ten minutes. I get her number, talk some more and then she leaves. A few minutes later I reopen her and in twenty seconds give her a kiss on the lips. She seems surprised and sort of runs away. Weird, didn’t expect that. It puzzles me, I stop seeing the potential for good things to happen and I say to my wingman:
“I’m fucking done man, let’s get out of here.”
We get to the sidewalk and I have an existential crisis. After how much I’ve fucking bitched about NYC sucking on weeknights and not being able to find sets, I can’t leave now when there are still girls to open. We go back inside. I want to reopen my blonde girl when I find her. I tried for the pull earlier and she wasn’t down. However, I thought maybe one more try and she would leave with me? But I bitched out of reopening because she was with some flannel shirt motherfucker. Damn.
Instead, I go around and open another three or four sets instead. Then blonde girl’s friend approaches and we talk. I see blonde girl again but fail to approach. I’m scared. I feel like I don’t have a lot to offer and way she ran off after I kissed her doesn’t inspire me with confidence. I end up not opening her again and I’ll regret it for days. Fuck, I needed that reference experience.
*It feels like it’s harder to get better at this stage. Six months ago opening 25 sets and staying out for 3 hours would have been massive progress. Now, I learned some things and it was a very solid night, I pushed myself hard right up until the very end (when I bitched out) but I don’t feel like I made massive progress. Just normal progress.
*There are two things that I have to stop saying. One, don’t talk about a girl’s height if she’s very tall. Two separate girls, both abnormally tall (like 6 feet or more) have blown me out for saying “You’re very tall”. They’re probably super insecure about it and don’t like hearing it. Never bring it up again. The other thing is I still sometimes say retarded shit like “I’m only a serial killer on Mondays” or other crap about killing people. Girl’s don’t think it’s funny, I don’t think it’s funny, it’s just bullshit. Stop saying it. This particular form of edginess achieves nothing and can make me look genuinely weird.
*My makeout game needs serious work. I’m going for it at the wrong moments and I’m not doing it smoothly. To be fair my ability to makeout with a girl has never been better in my life, it’s a new high for me. But it fails to live up to my standards for what it should be. I have a lot of work to do here.
*I was doing some leading last night but not enough. I must be leading! In every set I should be focusing on these two things
- Going for the makeout
- Leading within the first few minutes
These are big and will be crucial in improving my game. I already do the makeout thing, except for girls I find exceptionally attractive. I tend to bitch out on doing it if she’s very cute, so I have to amp that up. No excuses, go for it.
*The more I do this, the more I realize that “game” is drawing state from within and holding the awesome frame no matter what reaction the girl gives me. It’s like I could be talking to a brick wall, or some stunning women who is telling me I’m ugly, and my mood would be exactly the same and I’d be saying the same things.