It’s perplexing to switch between two states. Last night I was in a glorious place where I felt good, I didn’t care about anything and every set I opened hooked well. 24 hours later I try to duplicate that and it doesn’t work. Sets are short, girls ignore me, things don’t go so well. I do my best to let go of the outcome, to relax, to be cool. Doesn’t matter, my brain just didn’t let me go to that sweet place. That being said, props all around. I approached a lot of sets, I stuck with it and I encountered some success.
I talked to Janelle as soon as I walked in. Then I saw her again later and reopened. Then my wingman opened her and we talked. Finally, we saw her and her friend on the street waiting for an Uber. We talked, the vibe was solid, I joked around about being a male prostitute and got physical. I think I could have kissed her but I didn’t. Instead I took her number and set up a date. Will I see her again? Probably not. Really terrible logistics, she lives in the Bronx. But maybe, we’ll see.
Also, my buddy opened some girls sitting down and I talked to the cute blonde one. She had big saucer eyes and I think we both enjoyed the conversation. However, he guy friend came in and started to mess with things. I was really happy with how I felt normal though and didn’t react. Ended up leaving and this might have been the biggest mistake of the night. Should have stuck it out to see what could have happened. If nothing else I could have practiced seeding the pull.
When I look at the night I can see myself getting punished for not opening well. That is, opening as soon as I see the girl, making my presence felt and having a strong, clear, and loud voice. One thought is that it may depend on how the first set of the night goes. If I open with a strong, dominant frame and get rewarded I’ll probably be more likely to open like that all night. But if I do it and get rejected, I might start unconsciously becoming more submissive on the open, in order to avoid rejection, and then paradoxically get rejected even more because I’m being a lil bitch.
Thankfully, it doesn’t have to be like this. If I notice myself opening weak and getting rejected because of it, I can take stock and regroup. I can open the next set as best as I know how. This is something I can do which is mostly non-dependent on state or feeling good. Loud, good eye contact, open as soon as I see her.
I watched a good video yesterday which dealt with learning pickup and common mistakes. One thing the chap said is that guys will set a goal like “get 20 numbers” versus a more effective goal of “ask for 20 numbers”. That way you can determine your success based on your actions (which you control) versus the girl’s reactions (which are outside your control). This is great because it allows you to accomplish your goal and feel like a boss no matter what the outcome.
In my nights what I’m interested in is leading. My goal is to try and lead every single set where it seems appropriate. There have been times where I’m lead when it was not called for, but plenty of times where I’ve not led when I needed to most. I can also focus specifically on “micro-leading” where I’ll move a girl a few feet over, then a few more feet. I get more comfortable leading her, she gets more comfortable following.