Yesterday was the night of difficult emotions. I waited in line for Berghain for an hour and got denied instantly, while the people in front of me and behind me got in. That hurt. So I went to Watergate, and when I said I was alone, I got denied instantly again. That also hurt. In New York it’s easier to get into a club without your wingman. It seems like here it may be the other way around. Different cultural approach to clubbing I suppose. So I’m feeling shitty about myself. I decide to do one more club. Giving up doesn’t come easily. I get in, pay 10 Euros and the place sucks. I end up doing one approach and the girl looks at me with disgust as if I’m the weirdest guy alive.
That was that. A night of rejections. A night of unpleasant emotions. I’m beginning to regret coming to Berlin. I wish I was back in New York where I have my friends, my wingman, and going out alone helps me to get into the good clubs, not stops me.
-I remind myself that nights of shitty emotions tend to lead to growth.
-Going to focus heavily on learning German and not invest so much of my self image in pickup.
-Berghain again tonight. If I keep trying I know I’ll get in.
-I need a wingman.