Last night we went to a cool club. Burned the place to the ground and but didn’t achieve much. There’s something especially difficult about kicking ass in promoter heavy environments. The girls tend to stay at their tables and are less inclined to chat up random strangers. Aka me and my wingman. Despite that, I left everything at the club. I really fucking put myself out there and weathered quit a few rejections. In terms of results though there’s not much to speak of. Which I guess is OK. I can only control my own actions, I can’t control how girls will receive me. With that in mind I’ll get into some out of order notes about the night. No point in actually describing what happened since that can be summed in a few words: walked around for three hours and opened everything in sight.
*After doing pickup for nine or ten months I have zero Disney Fairy-tale ideas about romance. As in, I used to think (and I think a lot of guys think this way) that there will be some girl who is an exception, who will see something in us that’s just so cool and she will act totally out of character from all the other women. As if. These things don’t happen. Last night I would have loved it if some girl recognized the fact that I was feeling emotionally fucked and she came over to makeout with me. That would have been cool, but I never expected it. Doing enough pickup teaches you the reality of this shit and you end up laughing at the retarded crap you see on TV and in movies.
*One thing I did really, really well last night was go for the makeout. I can confidently say that in every situation where the girl was even remotely into me and showing any signs of attraction I tried to kiss her. This is great because I mentioned a few weeks ago that going for the makeout is a sticking point and I have to do it more so that I can calibrate it better. It seems like just by writing down this goal and then hardly even focusing on it again, I’ve gone a ways towards making it happen. I think that writing these field reports helps a lot towards getting better and many other very successful PUAs have said the same thing.
*It’s hard for me to say what the lessons were last night. Obviously loads of “failures” but I don’t know what exactly I should be taking out of that. Set after set I was going in hard, making myself known, and putting myself on the line. I don’t know what to take from the lack of good results. Maybe just that I should be having more fun and screen more. I feel like by the second half of the night I just wanted a good result, I just wanted a girl to like me. Instead of falling into that very understandable frame, perhaps it would be better to go even more hardcore on the screening so that girls are qualifying themselves to me.
*I learned that if you befriend the bottle girls they can get you into a club. This is big news! This coincides with a new belief that’s forming. Previously I’ve thought that door people and people who work at clubs don’t want to talk to you or be your friend. I have no idea where this belief came from, it’s just there. Time to change it! Tons of recent experience is showing me that club people actually really enjoy knowing you. My wingman spent close to ten minutes talking to a cute bottle girl last night. She was so nice! So I’m consciously forming a new belief: club personal are nice, they enjoy getting to know you, and they want to be your friend. This is an empowering belief.
*I’m always doing an 80/20 analysis of what small actions will get me the most results. A big one right now is just staying out longer. When I’m solo I usually get to the club at 11 and by 1 I’m usually tired and wish to leave. Obviously by leaving at 1 I’m denying myself massive possibilities. So how to fix this? Several ideas come to mind. One is bringing some kind of energy bar so that I can get a boost when I start to get tired. Another is that when my energy starts to flag at about 12:30, that’s when I need to go on an approaching spree to keep up my good vibes. There’s usually that moment when the tiredness is about to set in and I think that instead of going to chill in the corner, I would be much better served by doing five approaches in quick progression. Even if I just get in one more hour and stay out till 2, that will bring me significantly more results over the long term.
*I really need to focus on the good last night. I left everything I had at the club, I did difficult approaches that would scare the average human individual, and I went for makeouts whenever I saw the chance. Focus on that, forget the rejections, forget the lack of results. Last night is what I would consider a “bad” night and yet it’s still probably better than what I would have considered a “good” night six months ago.