I pulled last night and for that I’m glad. The end of May will mark my one year anniversary since I started going out regularly. 12 months, 12 pulls that seems fitting and I’m glad to have achieved it. Now that I still have three weeks left in the month it seems pretty damn likely that I’ll be pulling again. Hell, I plan on pulling this weekend. Make this shit happen, there’s no reason it shouldn’t. Anyways, let’s look at the evening. I’m going to break down the first part and in the following section I’ll break down just the pull, so scroll down some if you just want to read that.
The First Half of the Night
I was planning on going out in Williamsburg, but when my wingman texted me at 11:30 I dropped that plan and caught the first train to Meatpacking. The club was denying people left and right but I got right in. Upstairs I opened a girl who was cute but there was no connection between us. Out of inexperience I used to try to force these interactions which usually resulted in the girl “blowing me out” because she realized better than me that we had no connection. Now I understand that connection issue too and I’m quick to leave.
Next set is a French girl who I end up staying with for about half an hour, and it looked like this. Opened her while she was dancing, talk, talk, talk. Move her to a new part of the club. She gets makeout eyes but when I lean in for it she’s not down. Says she has to find friends. Friend comes and friend is very, very cute and practically begging for it. So obvious she likes me and wants it. Move group outside for cigarette. Take two girls and rudely interrupt my wingman who is in the corner making out with some girl. Not sure why I did that, stupid. Lead girls back downstairs, dance some more, get my girl’s number, bounce. In retrospect I am not pleased with how I handled this set. So many things I would change. For example..
- When I saw the makeout eyes I only tried once for the kiss then I gave up on it. I should have tried for the kiss multiple times. I could save myself a lot of time because if she doesn’t want to kiss I’m going to guess she doesn’t want to hook up (certainly some nuances here such as she’s not ready yet or I can pull without getting the makeout).
- When the stupidly-cute friend came in I should have started working with her. There is certainly some risk here but since my girl wasn’t giving me tons of great vibes I think I could have easily switched to the friend who was flat out staring at me. Even if I lost the set because of the switch I would have been happy because I did it in pursuit of an extremely attractive female specimen.
- I got my girl’s number but I don’t plan to text her. In fact I regret getting the number because it was a coward’s way out. What I actually should have done is gone for the pull. Even though I thought (in the moment) there was a low chance I would get it, I fucking want that reference experience. And besides, wtf do I know. Maybe half the time when I think the girl is not down for the pull she actually is. I still have much to learn.
Overall I wish that I had been more dominant, tried harder for the kiss and tried for the pull. I learned some lessons though and I’ll do better next time. Open a few girls who quickly blow me off, they’re obviously insane to not recognize my sheer awesomeness.
Meet up with my wingman’s buddy and we open two girls on the roof. I take the *less than ideal* one and he takes the cute one. My girl is from Switzerland and she’s frankly overwhelmed by me. I’m in an uber-fucking-social vibe and breaking rapport and then reeling her back in and she just can’t handle it. I think I fried her brain haha. Eventually things wind down and I talk with my wingman’s buddy, grab his number then he bounces. I turn around and open two girls by telling them they’re not bringing enough soul to their dancing. They’re from San Francisco and I rip on them mercilessly for it, especially when they try to tell me it’s the best city ever.
These two women are fun and I see the two Swiss girls just standing there so I merge the fucking sets! It goes so well. Every time I do this (I’ve done it like 3 times haha) the girls love it, they shake hands, they say nice things, they ask questions. It’s fucking glorious. Seeing how easy and awesome this is fills me with inspiration. I want to walk into a bar, find a girl I’m totally comfortable with (Aka not that attractive) open and hook her, then say:
“Oh man, they look interesting! Let’s go talk to them.”
Then I take her to open some cuter girls. And I just do this over and over. Pure fucking insanity, pure fucking fun. I love it, it makes the night amazing for me.
At this point it’s close to 2am. I’ve been out about two hours, I’ve done some cool shit, learned some lessons, but a major sticking point for me is that I don’t stay out long enough. I’m bad about this. Since I still have energy I decide to stick it out a while longer. I grab some water from the bar then I go sit on the edge of a sofa and look at the NYC skyline.
My Bed Warmer
Sitting on the edge of the sofa I see her walk up alone and look out the window. I yell something to her about how glorious NYC is and we start talking. She’s being physical with me and it’s going well. I see the chance for a makeout and I go in for it but she turns her head every time I go for it. But I’m cool with it, doesn’t really matter. Just like I did last night I bring up the idea of this awesome cookie place a few minutes away and describe how they’re so good and they serve them warm. She says:
“That sounds good, I’m starving.”
I say: “Cool, we should get some.”
Then before she has a chance to rationally think this over I grab her hand and start leading her towards the exit of the club. I can tell she’s a bit uneasy with this but I cover that up by talking and talking. Doesn’t matter what I say, so long as words pour out of my mouth. I grab my backpack from coat check and we start walking towards the cookie place. Halfway there she stops me, says:
“Wait! This is bad. I don’t know you and now we’re leaving the club together. You’re a stranger!”
Damage control. I immediately start telling her about myself. I tell her where I work, where I went to university, what my favorite color is, how long I’ve been in NYC, where I’ve traveled, etc. This is the right thing to do and she lets me continue to lead her. Then she says:
“I can’t go to your place! We don’t even know each other.”
I remind her that we’re going to the cookie place and that I don’t sleep there. Which brings up an interesting point. If I had tried for the direct pull straight to my place it might not have worked. I think going to the cookie place built up some trust because we really did go there, we got a cookie, and she saw that I wasn’t totally full of bullshit. Just mostly full of it, but that’s fine 😀 But I think the cookie place (or any stop before my bedroom) was the right call in this situation because I pulled her out of the club after only 10 minutes or so and we hadn’t built up comfort or trust. Whereas the times when I’ve pulled straight to the bedroom I’ve talked to the girl more (45 min to 1 hr) and so there’s more comfort and a stronger bond.
At the cookie place I call an Uber and I don’t even make up witty things to say, it’s just implied that we’re going back to my place. She keeps bringing it up and it’s obvious she’s down. During the car ride she comes unglued a bit and I realize that while this girl is attractive she’s a mess. I would never date her for all the schekels in the world, but for a night of sex it’s cool.
Get to my place, she still feels uncomfortable. I don’t push for sex. We lie on my bed and talk while I rub her calf. She has some emotional drama with her drunk sister and screams in French at her on the phone. It’s nutty. After the phone call I start to push more for sex but as soon as I reach under her leggings she freezes up. Whatever, I say I have to use the bathroom, she does too. She goes first, then I go, and when I come back she’s under my blanket. She tells me to give her a massage. I do this and notice she has no pants on anymore, just her thong. That’s all, game over. She had an incredible body just like I love. Super fucking thin, medium sized boobs, skinny neck and legs, I fucked her twice and it was great. Then I called her an Uber, she went back to Manhattan and that was the night.
*Last night I noticed that when I opened the first French girl, I was so fucking comfortable with it. The first five minutes of the interaction I felt like a king. I think this happens because I’ve opened so many times that I’ve seen most of what will happen and I know that I can deal with it. As the interaction progresses I become more and more *uncomfortable*. That’s not really the right word, I’m still confident and awesome, but it’s more like you’re an inexperienced sailor, you’ve lost sight of shore and while you *know* what to do, you don’t have that massive fucking experience where you know that you can handle every single obstacle no matter what. More experience needed..
*I really, really like the idea of treating every girl the same. I same the same things and act the same way towards the hot girl as I do the less than ideal one. It’s a powerful idea and one that I talked a lot more about it in this post.
*Pulling man, always in the back of the mind is the pull. I don’t want to fuck with phone numbers and day twos except in rare cases. 95% of the time my single aim is to pull, that’s it. Bathroom, my bedroom, her place. That’s why I’m disappointed with how I handled the first French girl. Never tried for the pull, got the number instead. Fuck that!
*My nights are getting consistently better. I have a better understanding of what I need to do in order to have a solid night out and I execute on that. Do things that scare me, make it epic, have fun, and do it for the reference experience not the result.
*I think there are some subtle success barriers that try to influence me. It’s like they say you’re doing too good, fuck this up! And I push past them for all I’m worth but it’s honestly scary sometimes. By pushing past them I’m becoming an entirely new person and while that’s what I want, it’s not necessarily easy.