The First Place
I got a text from my promoter connect inviting me to come through to his bar. Said he’s running the door, he’ll get me in. I don’t care about going here but I would like to find a way to get into a certain club on Wednesdays and he could definitely help me out with that. Decide to go to see if we can work out a solution.
Never happens. He’s busy the whole night and I don’t think he cares about me in any deep way. I’m more like fodder for the promoter-industrial-complex. OK. At 10:30 the place is mostly dead. I don’t see anything to approach until one girl sits down on a couch by herself. Go sit down next to her, introduce myself. I tell her I live in Williamsburg, I like to shop at Whole Foods.
She says “I love their macaroni and cheese.”
“You mean the stuff from the buffet?”
“Yeah. I’d love to get some. Right now…”
This is a pull wrapped up in a basket with a bow on top. It would be the easiest thing in the world to pull this girl to Whole Foods by my house, get Mac n Cheese, take it back to my house, not eat it because we’re in my bedroom fucking. If she were more attractive that would have been my night. But she doesn’t meet my standards and I act oblivious. Surely this girl must have thought I’m fucking clueless to pass up on such an obvious hint. She’s trying to kiss me too. I take a pass, say “I have to go find my friend.”
My friend turns out to be a girl standing by the pool table named Katie. She’s a journalist, she’s traveled all over Europe, we have much to discuss. She’s skinny and cute too. On the short side but I’m willing to give her a pass. After ten minutes of chat I invite her to the next club, tell her my friend is spinning and it’s going to be a good time. I think there’s a decent chance she would have come with if it weren’t for her intoxicated friend who is mouth raping a stranger. She tells me to take her number, says she’d love to hang out soon. I’d like that too, I think she’s cute! Get the digits and leave.
The Next Place
My friend spins a couple of times a month, last night was at a fairly high end club. I was there back in October and the club ran me over. Tables everywhere, hot women, promoters. I was intimidated. Since then I’ve gotten better at game, figured tonight would be more enjoyable. I skip the line, get in free because I’m on the guest list. Already feeling good. Inside my friend is spinning, he invites me up into the DJ booth. Now I’m feeling great. By 12:30 the club is on fire and I’m a social proof king. Standing in the DJ booth I can look out and catch dozens of girls staring at me. Hot girls too. What a deal.
Around 1 a very attractive woman comes up “Hey, I’m Alex” she says. She’s the hottest woman I’ve talked to in a while and she just introduced herself to me with a big smile on her face. Social proof is a cheat in the system. The rest of the night I hang around the booth, I don’t really do many approaches. This is all new territory to me and I’m soaking it up. Getting a feel for the dynamics of being in a VIP area. At some point though some douche who just paid $5,000 or whatever for his table tries to get me kicked out. He’s got four girls on him but apparently that’s not enough. I’m obviously having more fun than him and his tiny prick and large ego cannot tolerate that. The headliner DJ steps in and stops me from being kicked out, but that was the decline of the night for me. After that I never got back that vibe of fucking owning it. I never felt like I ran the club, I felt like I had to look over my shoulder and I didn’t belong. Fail. My DJ friend ended up making out with hot Alex, I ended up going home alone. No regrets though, it was a night of many valuable lessons. I’ve got some great ideas about how I will take advantage of this situation next time.
1. I’ve heard a lot about the power of social proof and how the largest chode in the world can get laid with it. That really led me to believe that it’s “magical” and when you’re there girls will just come up and beg you to take them home. No, that didn’t happen. I still have to take action. Granted, everything is 5x easier than normal but I still have to do a little bit to make shit happen. I’m not going to get laid by just standing there, smiling, waving my arms in the air. For example, I could have gone around and found girls in the club to pull the booth. I could have pulled girls from the promoter area up to the booth. I also should have talked more, instead of just standing there being passive.
2. Sometimes I over think shit. I was standing in the DJ booth area around 1:30 when my buddy had finished spinning. I’m standing there, he’s standing behind me, and for five minutes all I’m thinking is should I be letting him stand in front, is he ok? Then, after the rich douche tried to get me booted, I’m stuck thinking am I going to get booted again? Am I fucked? I couldn’t just let go. Fuck that. Stop thinking so much and just be. If they kick me out, they kick me out. No biggie. If my friend wants to stand in front, let him tell me or just ask him, don’t spend five minutes worrying about this bullshit. Shut the brain off and I’ll have a better night.
3. It’s best to take advantage of that social proof earlier in the night, when everyone is still marginally sober and not making out. By about 2:30 nobody fucking cares. All those girls who were staring at 12:30 are no longer staring. I wasted prime hours by dancing around and basking in glances, but I failed to exploit the situation. Next time I make shit happen ASAP.
I also want to take a brief look at two texting situations. One failed, and one is working better (so far). In both cases these interactions were very solid. I rarely take numbers, only when there is some real chemistry.
With Natalie (from two Tuesdays ago) I’m just thinking that I pressed and pressed for this meetup without offering any value, any funny texts, anything like that. I wanted it to bad, I didn’t leave her room to invest.
With Katie (from the bar earlier in the night) I decided to do it a bit differently. When I ask her on a date, she responds she has to work, I don’t immediately ask for another date. I say something which is sort of funny and not asking for anything. Not taking value. This works out somewhat better. It still remains to be seen whether she’ll actually meet up with me. Hopefully it happens though, that would be cool.
Ultimately I’m not too focused on becoming a texting master though. Instead, I’m focused on becoming so damn fucking attractive that it doesn’t matter what I say, the girl wants to meet up again regardless of what I text her.