Sometimes I feel disappointed that so much of what mainstream society teaches us about sexual attraction and relationships is bullshit. Parents, teachers, movies, music, TV, and so forth. By going out and practicing pickup you discover that most of the principles you’ve accepted as truth are actually crap.

For instance, the idea that the poor girls will sleep with a chap and then the guy will never call back and the girl is all sad and feels that this cruel, male driven society is so unfair. Yeah, bullshit. The last two girls I’ve slept with, I hit up both of them to hang out again. One gave a vague, bullshitty excuse, the other didn’t even reply. Poor girls my ass, they’re the ones who don’t hit the guy back! I’d like to see someone talk about that in mainstream society. I know it’s not just me either, I was watching a video of a pickup instructor who said that he got ridiculously good at one night stands, he was having them all the time but for a period of 6 months he didn’t see a single girl twice! How nuts is that. He went on to say that reaching the next level of game changed that and girls started to hit him back. So there’s hope, but from where I’m at right now it kind of sucks that I’ll sleep with a girl and not be able to see her again. The sex with the last girl was really good too, I thought for sure she’d want more..?

Anyways, last night I went to the Tuesday bar. There were a million-trillion things I wanted to do besides go out. And once I got there a billion-million things I wanted to do besides approach. I felt totally and completely uninterested in being social or picking up a girl. The first set was the hardest, I managed to stammer out some words and I sounded like a 37 year old virgin with a gun to his head. Whatever, the next one went better. Then my wingman showed up and we opened a few. The only set of the night worth mentioning happened next.

Three girls sitting down, I went to the one on the far side of the table and immediately realized that holy shit, she’s really cute! We talked and I found out she went to a university ten minutes from my shitty home town. Instant bond there. She had massive eyes and was leaning into me, brushing her awesome boobs against me. The good part of the interaction is that I didn’t get stuck in my head and run out of things to say, even though I found her very attractive. The bad part is that I didn’t take correct action. This girl was really into me and what I needed to do was get her away from the friends and go for the makeout. All of her body language indicated she was very interested in me and I’m confident I could have pulled it off. Unfortunately I didn’t try to lead and everything fizzled because of it. So I was halfway there. My brain let me be awesome, I didn’t get stuck in my head, but I also didn’t have the balls to do what I needed to do. Next time.

Right now I feel somewhat down on pickup, realizing that I’m not seeing girls again and everything is a ONS whether I like it or not. It means that at some point I’m going to sleep with a girl I really fucking like and then I won’t see her again. That kind of sucks. It is what it is though, learning pickup means sorting through so much emotional baggage. Keep going man, there’s not much else to say.