Me and the wingman walked around EV last night and checked out a few spots. Opened some sets, talked to some girls, it was fun. At one bar I ended up talking to a less then perfect girl for about 30 minutes, it was actually cool. I did it because there wasn’t much else and I believe that every girl is capable of teaching lessons. I also don’t take a 30 minute conversation for granted. I have clear memories of all the nights where I couldn’t keep a set going for 20 seconds. I think I’m getting closer to identifying what that “it” is that allows a set to go well. As I get more experience my nights will continue to improve.
Another thing I’m doing is working through some old memories. There were a few girls in high school who said some mean, vindictive things to me, at the peak of my insecurity, and that’s had a lasting effect on me. It’s surely shaped how I interact with women and my success with them. Increasingly I’m trying to work through these old memories, relive them, take away the emotional sting and even in some cases, as Dr. Phil as this sounds, forgive these girls for what they said to me.
I definitely have some repressed anger there but it’s unfounded. If high school had been different and I had a few girlfriends and got laid, I never would have gotten into pickup which means I wouldn’t have heard Tyler talk about meditation or Brad talk about reading or Julien talking about the gun to the head and my life would be way, way worse.