Tonight my wingman took a girl from me. I was making out with her, her friend had just left, and my wingman came in and started hitting on her. I did not handle this well. I should have grabbed her hand and pulled her to another area in the bar. On the other hand, it’s my wingman. He’s supposed to have my back and I wasn’t really prepared to defend my girl from him. I’m disappointed that he would do that. I stick by the rule that the guy who opens the girl, gets the girl. So I’ll have words with him, see how he rationalized this into being cool.
In other news, I opened an awfully attractive chick who liked reading, traveling and was doing a grad program in creative writing. So my ideal girl. I reacted like a little kid when the teacher asks a question. I got all excited and lost my cool, as if I would prove to her that I like the same things by showing her how excited I was about what she’s saying. A terribly ineffective strategy. In the future, if I’m very impressed with a girl, I can tell her that but I don’t have to turn into a six year old.
*A consistent trend with me is that I seek to fill in silences and never let the conversation lag. Sometimes (often?) I cut the girl off while she’s speaking. This is bad. I want to let her speak as much as she wants and I don’t want to discourage conversation by cutting her off.
*I think my game is going to start progressing faster because I have more mental bandwidth to focus on improvement. It used to be that I spent 90% of my brainpower on maintaining a good vibe, approaching, posture, tonality, that stuff. Now I’ve autopiloted a lot of it, freeing up tons of RAM to focus on the details. This is very good…
*I’m really interested in finding a way to chase less and let the girl chase more. What are the actions/vibe/beliefs that lead to me being the awesome guy and her investing in me? Logically, I see it like this..
- Girls like guys who are the shit.
- A guy who is the shit doesn’t need to prove himself to anyone.
- When a girl sees a guy not trying to prove anything and being totally comfortable, she assumes he’s the shit and gets attracted.
Essentially, how can I strengthen the belief that I’m the shit and cut out all those behaviors that indicate I’m trying to prove myself?