Last night was a team effort, it would have not been possible without my wingman. We both pushed each other to go farther and do more. As a result we got in four solid hours of pickup across four venues in two different neighborhoods. I made out with two girls but that’s neither here nor there. The biggest fucking thing from last night:
I recovered from feeling like a chode, stayed out instead of going home, and had an awesome second half of the night.
Man it felt good, and it happened because of my wingman. At the first venue he was with a girl and it was going good. They were making out on some couches and he was talking about pulling. I was off doing my own thing and it was not going well. I was getting into my head, feeling disconnected and like I was incapable of having fun. The worst frame you can be in. I was praying that my wingman would pull so I could leave without losing face. But he didn’t, instead he suggested we switch venues.
Walked over to a bar in LES that I’ve never been too. Inside I met Mara and we made out shortly after getting introductions out of the way. I was immediately thinking pull. She was cute and into me. I suggested getting pizza a block away and started making moves to get us out of the bar. Then I found out her friend is visiting from California and staying with her on her couch. Insurmountable logistics. I get her number, we leave.
Meet two girls on the street and we walk with them to another bar. By the end of the 10 minute walk my girl doesn’t like me. In fact she just about can’t stand me. Polarizing, when it works, is a powerful tool. When it doesn’t work the girl really, really doesn’t like you haha. Me and my wingman still make it to the bar with this group though and I open the first girl I see inside. We talk and talk, then I go for the makeout. No, she won’t kiss me. I try again, and no. We talk, and then I try again. And no. But she wants to kiss me it’s obvious. So I try a fourth time and when she ducks away I forcefully lift her chin up so she can’t dodge me anymore and it works, we make out. When I tell her that we should get some fresh air outside she laughs at me. No way is she getting pulled, she disappears off into the night.
Me and my wingman walk around, looking for other places. We talk a lot about game. Some of the common problems we face, how long it will be till we’re good, how ridiculous it is that guys quit before they get good. And so on.
Final bar of the night is a dud. It’s 3am and we decide to call it a night. On the way to the subway I see two girls walking towards us on the sidewalk. As they’re walking by I say:
“Hey, I have to ask you your opinion on something!”
The funny thing about this is that I have zero fucking idea what I’m going to say. Even as I’m walking up and about to open my mouth I have no idea. In game there used to be these funny things like asking about David Bowie or friends with benefits or something, but I don’t know any of these. Instead I say:
“What’s better, cats or dogs?”
It hits fine and we start talking. They’re cool, receptive and with a bit more killer instinct we could have moved them to another bar with us. But we didn’t have that clear intent and we also didn’t know where the fuck we would lead them haha. I look at my wingman and say:
“There’s a cool bar down the street right?”
Gesturing towards the east river. He’s like “Uhhhhhh yeah I think so” which is not enough. We end up losing them. Next time though we’ll get it. Clearer intent and actually knowing where the fuck we’re going.
*Going out with a good wingman is massive. We work together as a team and fucking crush it. When one guy is feeling a bit out the other guy opens, and vice versa. And if both guys are crushing it then shit gets insane. I love it.
*To get the results I want I’m going to have to become something that I’m not. That has to do with game but also, more generally, it means hustling more, staying out longer, doing more sets, and doing sets even when I’m out of it.
*When I encounter an unusually attractive woman my brain shuts the fuck down. I don’t get physical, I don’t say witty and awesome things, I play it safe. I go logical and end up being boring as fuck. The worst part about this is that half the time the girl is fine, we’re just having a conversation but I beat myself up and end up ejecting because I’m so pissed out how much of a bitch I’m being. I really want to fix this. I know I’m capable of awesome things and there’s zero logical reasons I can’t be awesome with a more attractive girl.
*I’m ruthless about figuring out logistics in the first minutes of the interaction. Sometimes I’m blunt and not subtle about it. It’s essential though, you can’t start planning a pull until you know what you’re working with.