When I started going out 9 months ago, a big fear was that I wouldn’t be able to get good at this. I was afraid that no matter how many approaches I did, no matter how much time I spent at the club, I would remain my normal (not-getting-laid) self. That fear has now died. I can easily see that so long as I stick to my habits (going out 5 or 6 nights a week, pushing comfort zones, ruthlessly breaking down my failures and sticking points) I will continue to get better. I’ve already seen great progress and I expect more great progress. The maxim that my best approach today will be an average approach in 6 months, has proven to be very true. With that in mind, let’s look at last night.
First off, I was tired. It’s cool to brag about not sleeping, hustling hard, sleeping when you’re dead, whatever. I get that and sometimes it’s totally necessary. But for me, I always strive to get my 8 hours. When I don’t sleep my motivation to do fucking anything decreases by about 50%, my attention span goes down, and I get pissed off at everything. It’s not a good state of mind to be in. So Saturday night I was tired. On Friday night I rolled around in bed with cute girl till 3:30 and I didn’t get enough sleep.
No excuse though obviously, I get to Freehold at 11. My wingman is supposed to meet me there but he ends up being 37 minutes late and then he waits in line for another 30 minutes. So that sucks. But the positive spin here is that during that 70 minutes or so where I was solo in the club, it was hands down the best I’ve ever done in my life without a wingman. I approached six or eight sets and at one point came very close to breaking into that unstoppable zone where I approach everything and am lording the club. That’s encouraging to see that I can reach that state solo because I’ve never even come close before.
My wingman finally gets in at like 12:10. Freehold is a circus. Cute girls everywhere. I have no idea how many approaches we do. It’s a lot. A few stand out.
Tall girl, big boobs, nice face. I’m vibing with her and go for the kiss after two minutes. She let’s met kiss her but she doesn’t kiss back. This happens again. What’s the thing to do here? Kissing a girl, she doesn’t kiss back, it’s kind of weird. I tell her I lived in Moscow for a while. She say’s she wants to go there with me. I say “Ok, let’s go!” And I lead her close to the exit of Freehold. My wingman follows, he’s talking to her friend. Even though this girl isn’t kissing me I get the feeling she likes me. I’m thinking pull but the logistics are shit. She lives with her friend in bumfuck Brooklyn and they came here together. She’s not going to be inclined to leave without her friend and my wingman can’t keep the friend’s attention. So I let that set go. Little potential. I ran it about as good as I’m capable of, the logistics just weren’t good. Much bigger chance of something happening if my wingman could have gotten the friend to like him.
Really not a remarkable set, only lasted a few minutes. The lesson was just that I should have gone for the makeout. I don’t think this was a case of me waiting for the right moment, it was a case of me being a punk ass bitch who doesn’t want to procreate. Fuck that. For the outergame of making out I should be swooping in and going for the kiss faster. I’m hesitant to do this because it seems so aggressive but I think it’s the right move. When I see the kiss is possible, I swoop in and get it in one movement, the first time. I think this will work better than what I do now because when I move close and pull back, then the girl is prepared and knows I’m about to kiss her so her logical brain switches on and makes it harder. If I just go in on an emotional moment and steal it, that’s that. Easy and simple.
*Reapproach. This is going to increase my pull rate by like 200 or 300% but I’m still not doing it. Alright, to be fair I’m doing it more. That’s true. But I need to be doing it a lot more, not just a little bit more. Everything I’ve read and heard, from multiple people, suggests that reapproaching drastically improves your results. Improves your results and it’s crucial when there’s only half a dozen sets on a shitty Thursday night.
*Believe that I can have an amazing night solo. I felt like last night, right when I was on the brink of breaking into fucking awesome, my brain said hey mister, you’re solo right now, you can’t achieve awesome things, so I didn’t. But if I believe it can happen, it will happen.
*Fuck what society says about sleep loss being cool. I lacked motivation to pull last night because all I wanted to do was sleep. There’s something to be said about developing killer instinct where you always go for it no matter your emotional state. Granted. But still, get the sleep, it’s a fantastic investment.