There’s one thing that I
hate dislike more than anything else in game: when a girl, usually the friend, laughs at what I’m saying, as in I can’t believe what a dork/dweeb/dope this guy, I can’t believe how weird the guys who talk to you are. Or whatever. If you’ve gone out you know what I mean. Sure, I know I shouldn’t care. Sure, I know it shouldn’t matter. That’s swell, I don’t give a fuck. I do care and I really don’t like it. Girls stand there and act silly with their vodka cranberries, I take action, approach, put myself on the line and then get laughed at. I can laugh at guys doing shitty approaches because I’m in the trenches with him, what does the girl know about this? Granted this doesn’t happen much, but it happened tonight. It was the 2nd set of the night. I wasn’t even in full-out dork mode, I was just too logical and asking too many questions.
The 1st set of the night, who I opened on the street, stopped me after forty-five seconds by saying:
“I’m sorry, I just really don’t feel like talking right now.”
The 3rd set of the night when much better. It took place at a venue that’s insane on the weekend and dead on the week nights, I wasn’t even sure it would be open so I was happy when I saw the bouncer outside. I got inside and immediately made eye contact with the cutest girl in the place (out of like five girls haha). I was pleasantly surprised at how little shit my brain threw at me as my legs took me over.
Her name was Liz. She was with her friend and they were both very nice. Cool girls, I would have pulled either, although Liz was cuter than her friend. The set lasted fifteen minutes but it fizzled out to nothing at the end. This is frustrating for two reasons.
- With two beers in me I could have made this set fly. It would have been a totally different interaction. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with drinking two beers but I’ve decided to learn pickup sober, hell or high water. Hopefully I’m trading short term gains for long term winning. Or so I tell myself..
- The set fizzled because I didn’t lead. I stopped being the cause of the emotions and I ended up being at the mercy of the girls emotions. There’s lots of subtleties there but what it really comes down to is failure to lead.
I’m scared to lead at the next level. That is, lead in situations where I don’t usually do it. It’s a difficult fear because it’s very subtle. Unlike approach anxiety which is cut and dry, grab your balls and do it. The being scared to lead fear is like a riptide which you can’t see but it’s running shit. That’s why I have to put a stake in that motherfucker and make the active commitment to lead every single set. And I should be doing it early in the set when the emotions are high! In other words the optimal time to lead is exactly when I don’t think I need to lead because everything is going great. By waiting till it fizzles it becomes much harder to lead and gain that initial energy back.
Regardless, I’m pleased with myself. Got out on a Monday night and did some solo sober approaches. Got another little bit of reference experience and for that I’m glad. Tomorrow night the week begins. Looking forward to meeting up with my wingman and burning down the Tuesday spot.