Last night was a fucking blast. Stayed out about three and a half hours and ended the night at my favorite club in NYC. Started by meeting up with my wingman who’s doing a 30 day challenge with me. We don’t go out every night with each other, but we do go out every night. The first bar was dead so we walked to another one, one of the classic NYC pickup places. Not much to see. We open a few sets until my wingman ends up with a cool girl but mine isn’t into me.

I leave him there, bounce to a new bar. Inside I don’t open immediately, which means this is the exact moment where my night forks into two paths. If I don’t open in the next five to ten minutes I will end up sliding down the slope of shit and my night will never recover. Even if I manage to do approaches later on they’ll be shitty and uncalibrated. Fortunately I know this. I murder my unhelpful thoughts and throw myself into a set with two girls. They immediately start hitting me with all sorts of shit tests like:

Is that your pickup line?” and “Oh, you’re just a baby”

I’m 24 and three quarters god dammit hahaha. But I plow on and end up talking to my girl for twenty minutes. Super interesting set. The girl obviously likes me a lot but logistics are not so great. She has to work at 8 in the morning and her friend is a BiTcH who is jealous of the attention her friend is getting and can’t just be happy that she met a cool guy. Even though I’m paying attention to the friend, asking her questions, taking her seriously it’s obvious she’ll never like me. My girl likes me a lot though and I’m thinking pull. My objective is to get her to leave the friend and stay with me at the bar. If I can make that happen I feel very confident I can pull her back to her apartment. So I say things like:

Stay with me at the bar for just 5 more minutes” and “Let’s go check out this other club right now. Just 5 minutes, they have an awesome party.”

No go. I’m persistent as you can possibly be without being creepy but it’s just not happening. So I determine her logistics and set up the date for next Friday. Exact same scenario as two Saturdays ago only this time I don’t plan on bailing on her haha.

They both leave, I start opening again. Run into one of my former wingman and he’s with two guys who looked totally overwhelmed and freaked out. I know that feeling and I’m so grateful to be past it. We open some sets until I start talking to a German girl. This is a set that should end in a makeout, and maybe even a pull, but I lack the game to make it happen. I’m a bit too needy, bit too invested. She did say my German is good though and I’m happy to hear it. I try moving her several times but to no avail. So I bail. Go around the bar looking for other sets but I’ve already covered everything fairly well. My original wingman is MIA and I decide to go to this underground speakeasy bar that’s usually pretty good.

Get there, see two girls sitting down, I open. They’re from Washington and they’re both super cool. One is very cute, the other one is cute. I would gladly pull either. We talk for about five minutes which means it’s time to lead.

Hey, your drinks are empty. Let’s get out of here and go to my favorite club in NYC, it’s just down the street.” I say.

They agree and we all walk over there. I don’t know if it’s the second or third time I’ve come to this club this week but it’s a lot. Once we get in though I have no fucking idea what to do. I want to isolate the cuter girl so that I can go for the makeout but I’m unsure of how to do it. The other friend is obviously not going to just leave and since they’re from DC the pulling logistics are crummy. My poor brain is running at max capacity trying to figure this situation out. It’s like when your computer is doing some heavy chores and it’s so bogged down that you can hardly open a browser window. Totally unsure, I default to something I know to be good, leading! I lead these poor girls all over this club with absolutely zero fucking plan. I guess I just thought that if I led them around enough something would eventually happen. And it did! They left..

Things could be worse. I’m in my favorite club in NYC and there’s a bunch of girls. I start opening. Set here, set there. I see a girl standing alone by the window. I introduce myself, ask where she’s from. She say’s:

I’m from Copenhagen. It’s in Europe, it’s a long ways from here.”

It’s glorious when this happens. The lock screen on my phone is a picture of those colorful houses along a canal in Copenhagen. Without fail I meet at least one Danish girl a month and I always show her this. So I show this Danish girl and she can’t believe that I’ve been to her city. We’re vibing and then I do something silly. I lean in for the makeout and she leans in too. We’re getting closer then I pull back! Fool, my bitch brain got the best of me again! We banter for a minute and I go for the makeout again but she turns her head. I pull back, then I go again but this time I put my hand on her chin and hold it so she can’t turn and then I kiss her. She smiles and leaves. This was way too forceful, too aggressive. Damn, she was really cute too.

That basically marked the end of the night. I opened a few more sets but nothing stuck. I exchanged a few words with my original wingman who I started the night with because he had ended up at the same club. I see my two girls from Washington and exchange Facebook information, tell them to hit me up next time they’re in NYC and we’ll go get some free drinks with my promoter friend. Then I leave the club and get an Uber back to Brooklyn.

Notes

*It’s funny how the set with the Washington DC girls went. Met them at the basement speakeasy, moved them to my favorite club in New York, then they left me. Exact same fucking thing happened a little while ago. Met two Australian girls at the speakeasy place (they were even sitting at the same table) bounced them to my club, then they left. Although that night ended much differently in that I pulled the cutest girl to date yet.

What went wrong tonight? This: the girls crushed my frame and sucked me into theirs. I didn’t keep my frame as a sex worthy guy, by falling into their frame I became something more like one of their girl friends. So it’s not like I made one major mistake, instead I showed through about 1,000 tiny sub-communications that I wasn’t totally solid in my frame and worthy of a blowjob in the bathroom. I don’t think there’s anything to really fix here besides gradually building my frame stronger though hundreds and thousands of more interactions, to the point where I don’t let the two outgoing, exuberant and attractive girls suck me in.

*Last night was epic and awesome because at every stage I kept approaching. As soon as I felt out of it and like approaching is the wrong thing to do, I approached! It’s so fucking key and I’ve learned this the hard way through many, many nights that have gone to shit. At the stage where I’m at right now I have to keep approaching if I want to have a good night.

*I think that I’m leaning in too much. I use the excuse that I can’t hear girls to justify it. This is 100% true but I have to find a solution so that I don’t need to peck. I need to move the girl so she’s talking in my ear, or just say something like:

I can’t hear you, talk louder.”

*I could have stayed out longer last night. 11 to 2:30 is pretty good, but I’d really like to make it till 4 on the weekends. So instead of going home I should have found a bench, sat down, listened to a few cool songs, then gone back at it. A break from standing was all I needed, I didn’t have to go home.

*My wingman pulled a girl a few nights ago and she had a thing for cum. After sucking him off she said:

Thank you for feeding me.”

Hahaha the world is a fantastic place.

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