Out in Black

Learning Game: Reports from the Field

Tag: Berlin (Page 2 of 2)

September 13th, 2016

Last night wasn’t really pickup, it was more about dancing. I love techno and Berlin has the best stuff in the world. I wanted to go to a club called Tresor but I was denied at the door because I’m alone. Getting rejected like that is getting easier but it still hurts. It feels like a judgement against myself. Which is crap, it’s just a bouncer saying no. I suppose what makes it hurt is that it’s like being told “You’re a piece of crap for going out alone. Find some friends”. I again wonder why it is that in New York it’s the opposite and you’re more likely to get into difficult clubs alone?

I opened one girl at the bar named Megan and in hindsight I should have said “Take me back to meet your friends.” That’s a great thing to say in that situation. Next time. Then later I put my hands on a girls shoulder and danced with her. That was about it. Sure I could have done more, but I also go out every night and I know some nights I spend the whole time with girls and other times I dance and enjoy the music. That being said, when I go back to New York it’s going to be an approach rampage.

Notes

-Meet a girl at the bar and you’re both getting a drink. “Take me back to meet your friends.”
-I’ve got game, but I have to approach more to be able to use it.
-I’m doing cold approach pickup in a foreign city on the other side of the world. I think that’s pretty nifty.

September 12th, 2016

The best part of last night was talking to a Dutch girl named Isabella for half an hour. We lamented about how fucked up American politics is and all sorts of other problems with my country. Her personality and what she had to say made me attracted to her, whereas objectively she might not be that sexy. Also she had cute glasses which I’m a sucker for. Also I was drinking and beer distorts things, so who knows. When the bar closed at 3:30 and they kicked us all out, her friends had her get my Facebook before she left. Will I see her again? Who the hell knows, but it was a good time talking to her.

I talked to a German girl who was rather unfriendly and asked if I was ashamed that I would walk up to her and start a conversation. I thought about this for a second then said “No, not at all. In fact I feel pretty good about myself”. She gave me a look as if I’d had a lobotomy and walked off. I chatted with two girls on the street about my cardboard box that I sleep in. I talked to another girl about clubbing in Berlin and she gave me a solid recommendation to check out. And that was about it.

One thing I really noticed is that being loud is rarely not good. Aka it’s awesome. I’m naturally loud after a few beers, and this is something I want to bring into my sober game. Just as I’ve consciously practiced having great body language, and projecting my voice, now I’m going to practice being louder. Being loud and leading, the two L’s, these are sticking points that I’m going to be focusing on in the coming weeks.

Notes

-When a girl is fun to talk to it’s great! Because more often than not they’re not that much fun to talk to.
-Gaming on beer is cheating. While it’s fun in Berlin, I’m going to go back to New York and be as sober as post-rehab Eminem.
-In general practicing game is a bit harder in Germany. American culture is pretty much designed for game, it’s great.
-Think loud, speak loud, be loud.

September 11th, 2016

Last night I *technically* got into Berghain. I met up with my wingman at 3:30 in the morning, which on a Saturday night in Berlin is like 11:00pm in any other city. We go to the tourist club and do some sets. I open four or five but I totally half ass it. Super soft approaches. Which is funny because three months ago if I did four approaches in a night, regardless of their quality, I would have been excited! Now it’s like eh. It’s like I went to the gym and mostly sat on the machine texting, I didn’t accomplish shit. So no kudos for that.

We stay till 6am and decide to try Berghain. The line is short, the sun is coming up, and after ten minutes we’re facing Sven, the notorious bouncer. He gives us a good look over, asks if we’re together, then nods us in. We get into the entry hall and it’s glorious! I’m so psyched. Then another bouncer comes up and tells us to fuck off, even though we already got in. It’s the same bouncer who has seen me try and try again to get in, and he thinks that I’ve tried too many times and I’m not getting in.

So me and my wingman are officially the only two people I’ve ever seen get into Berghain, and kicked out within 15 seconds. Curse my crazy persistence and mistaken belief this guy won’t remember my face! That being said, even though Berghain is sweet, I’d rather make this mistake in Berlin than in New York. At any rate Berghain is open for the next 24 hours and I’ll go again at 6pm and there will be a new bouncer. Persistence combined with stupidity, what a combo.

Notes

-Weak approaches are for bitches and people doing their first sets. If I want to grow I have to push it harder, take it seriously, and do more sets.
-The internet is amazing! It’s so cool you can go to a foreign city and meet wingmen just like that.
-Going out at 3:30 is fun, but harder for me to get into state because my main state is just tired, not pimp.
-Dance floor rejections last night. I didn’t have that smooth confidence that makes the approaches work.

September 10th, 2016

I picked up my first chick last night! A short Israeli girl she weighed about as much as a couple of liters of cola. But I’ll get to that. We started it off by getting rejected from Berghain, which is just par for the course at this point. So we walk towards another club and I open a street set. She thinks that me putting my hand on her shoulder is too physical and they run away. Ok. We get to the club and I don’t want to go in. It’s a tourist club with a bunch of drunk dudes inside and top 40 music. I can do this type of thing in New York and get in free, not pay 10 Euros for the privilege. So I open some British girls standing outside. She was definitely interested in me and I was being very physical. Next time I go for the makeout in that situation, I think she would have done it.

At any rate we eject, go twenty feet away, and we’re standing by a couple of cute (albeit very short) girls. Michael is just starting to tell me something when I tell him to turn around and open. He does it, we all start talking, and a few minutes later we’re leading them to go get some water. One thing I’ve noticed is that I tend to walk fast and sometimes the group gets left behind. Not always, but sometimes. The solution is that I should be holding a girl’s hand more. Especially in a club when I’m leading, I should always have her hand in mine. I do it most of the time now, but not always. I need to make it always.

So we take the girls for water, sit down at a table and chat for 45 minutes. They’re cool but at the end of it all I’m tired and just want to try to go to Berghain again. So Michael, Alex and the two girls head off. I pick up the shorter girl to say goodbye. I know Tyler usually opens by picking girls up, but I’m mixing shit up. They go off to the club, I go to Berghain and get rejected, and the world keeps on spinning. Not sure what tonight will hold, but probably street sets and some good techno.

Notes

-Leading girls is more important than I ever imagined. It’s going to be my major focus in the coming weeks and months.
-Small bits of progress add up quicker than I had imagined they would.
-Do something and you’ll have the power.
-Game is fun! I really enjoy it, especially when the girl I’m talking to is interesting and cute.

September 9th, 2016

Last night me and my wingman both pulled. Here are some interesting facts about that:

-He’s done 3 approaches in his life, which means he now has the best approach to pull record of anyone ever
-First time I’ve ever pulled from a street set
-First time both me and my wingman have pulled
-First time I pulled the first set of the night

It goes like this. I met up with Michael and discovered that he has an awesome flat right in the club district. It’s huge, and it’s got a second bedroom which comes in useful later. We talk a bit, grab a beer from the fridge and head out. Five minutes later we’re walking on the bridge and I hear two girls speaking English. I turn around and say “Let me guess, you’re British?” Turns out one is Brazilian and one is from New Zealand but they’re amused. I immediately start talking to the blond girl from New Zealand, and Michael takes the spicy Brazilian who’s very attractive!

They want to go to the tourist club and I tell them to come with us to the cool club. They do, and we dance. After a while Michael is making out with his girl but I haven’t kissed mine yet. I feel like she’s sort of reserved and I don’t want to blow it by pushing it too hard (a lesson I’ve learned the hard way many, many times). We do dance a lot and have a good time. Lots of push pull, which I’m not consciously thinking about, I’m just doing. Then it’s time for the after party at Club Michael. We get some beers along the way and take the short walk to his place.

Standing outside I rather randomly decide it’s time, I grab my girl and pull her in and we start making out. Once everyone is upstairs the “afterparty” last about one song before Michael pulls his girl to the bedroom, I do the same, and I use both condoms that I keep in my wallet. It was the best one night stand sex I’ve had yet, she was great. We snuggle and talk about how cool Berlin is. Then Michael calls her a taxi and I go back to the club and dance till sunrise. What a night! Looking forward to more “after parties” at Club Michael.

Notes

-This is a big reason why I go out, it’s really fun when this happens! Besides just the sex it’s lots of good emotions and it’s all very positive.
-Good one night stand sex is great, because it doesn’t always work out that way.
-Guys who get really into self development, and then start doing approaches tend to do awesome.
-Berlin is the shit!

September 8th, 2016

Last night was so much fun! Berlin has amazing clubs that shame the posh, stupid crap we have in New York. In Berlin people go to the clubs to enjoy the music and party. In New York, not so much. There’s very little DJ love. At any rate though New York, in my opinion, is better for learning game. So I’m glad that I live there.

I opened my first set yesterday by saying “Ich glaube das du bist sehr süß” which I believe is grammatically incorrect, (Ich glaube das du sehr süß bist?)  but what to do. She smiled but hardly said a word when I started talking. Later, after dancing for a while, I open two girls sitting outside and we end up talking for about half an hour. It was cool, although the poor girl just wanted to speak in German I think and I was forcing her to speak in English the whole time.

At any rate, that was the night. 2 sets I opened. I stayed at the club till 6am and walked home with the morning rush hour. Even though I left at 6, the club was stll going till 10am. The madness of Berlin is real. Looking forward to this weekend and trying to get into Berghain again.

Notes

-My voice projection is way, way better than when I started going out this summer.
-Berlin is hedonistic. New York is putting the effort in to get better at game.
-So far this 30 day challenge is turning out to be nothing like I expected. I’ll keep at it though, more approaches coming soon.

September 6th, 2016

Lessons from yesterday. I meet up with my wingman, we go to the club and I open everything in sight right away. Four or five sets. Mostly they go poorly, but I don’t care. I’m in state and feeling good. Then I’m walking and I see a blonde girl standing there alone. I decide to approach her, I’m walking up, and then some retarded part of my brain says “She’s with a guy, you’ll get rejected” or some equally stupid thing. I veer off from approaching, and the rest of my night cascades down into blah. I can pinpoint the exact moment my night started going bad. That approach. If I had done it who knows what would have happened, but I may have rescued the night

Big lesson there, just do the approach! The consequences of not doing it are a lot more than of doing it.

Also, later on I see two cute girls dancing. I want to dance with them but they’re in a really awkward spot about ten feet away. I think hey, brilliant idea, I’ll sort of dance over to them over the course of 2 or 3 minutes then sort of naturally open them. This is the dumbest idea anyone in game has ever had in the history of people learning to be pimps. Even when I get close enough to open I have no masculine drive, I have no inertia, and I sort of stand there as if I’ve had a lobotomy. Lesson: just find a way to make the approach work. Go in, walk up bold and confident, and open. Don’t try some sneaky, suave crap. That’s bullshit and it doesn’t work.

Those were the two big lessons from last night. Don’t veer off course from the approach, and don’t try stupid fucking dance floor approaches that don’t work. Today I’m going to buy some new clothes that will hopefully help me get into Berghain this weekend.

Notes

-Really solid start to my night, really spectacular failure for the end of the night. Keep the momentum!
-Last night around 2:30, of the 25 or 30 guys in the club I counted 1, maybe 2, with real, actual game. There isn’t a lot of competition at the top.
-Keeping momentum and positive vibes till the end of the night is absolutely crucial for me.
-Having a wingman who doesn’t approach brings me down a bit. We’re both supposed to contribute to the vibe, but if he doesn’t it sort of grinds things to a halt.
-Berlin is a very cool city to game in.
-My posture in the club is solid, I’ve stopped pecking and doing other things that will never help me to get laid.

September 5th, 2016

Last night I got over the negative emotions that have been plaguing me for he last two nights and everything went much better. I met up with Patrick and we tried to get into Berghain. Rejected. That’s three times in a row I haven’t gotten into this club. It’s going to happen though, and it will be glorious when I do finally make it.

So we go to some random bar in a back alley, there’s literally two girls in the whole thing and I open them. They’re cute and British (didn’t even know those two words could go in the same sentence) and we talk for a while. At some point we decide to find a new bar, and it’s obvious that the girl I was talking to isn’t attracted to me in any kind of way. What was the problem? I didn’t lead! Failure to lead is FAILURE.

We get to the new bar and I just leave the British girl set, which had gotten even more British because we picked up two more English blokes on the street. Patrick joins me and he opens a two set. They actually end up being into me though because they’re from New York, and they’re Russian. So we get to speak about Brooklyn, and I use my Russian which is always a thrill. The short story is that one of the women, she’s like 35 is really into me. Really, really into me. I’m down with that, except for one thing. She’s a smoker and she has the face of cancer. It’s sad really, she would be an attractive women if it weren’t for that. But as she’s trying to get me to kiss her all I can see are these smoking wrinkles and how bad smoking has made her look.

I refuse to kiss her, we dance a lot, then the set dies. My Russian lady is gone. I dance till almost 5am then go home. On a Sunday night. The Berlin club scene is amazing. I’d definitely like to live here for a year so that I could build a social circle and find out about underground clubs and figure out how to get into these clubs with their sick door policy and all that. Thinking a year or two down the line I may definitely do this.

Notes

-Having a wingman makes me feel 683% better.
-I have pretty low standards for the women I’d share my dick with, but cancer face from cigarettes, there’s just something about it that there’s no way I’m kissing.
-Rebounding from massive negative emotions is a joy because I appreciate the good so much more.
-I’m going to buy some used clothes so I look like a degenerate so I can get into Berghain, the most exclusive club in Berlin. Life is funny.
-I’ve got my Airbnb flat to myself for a week, I have to bring home a girl! That means doing way more sets…

September 4th, 2016

Yesterday was the night of difficult emotions. I waited in line for Berghain for an hour and got denied instantly, while the people in front of me and behind me got in. That hurt. So I went to Watergate, and when I said I was alone, I got denied instantly again. That also hurt. In New York it’s easier to get into a club without your wingman. It seems like here it may be the other way around. Different cultural approach to clubbing I suppose. So I’m feeling shitty about myself. I decide to do one more club. Giving up doesn’t come easily. I get in, pay 10 Euros and the place sucks. I end up doing one approach and the girl looks at me with disgust as if I’m the weirdest guy alive.

That was that. A night of rejections. A night of unpleasant emotions. I’m beginning to regret coming to Berlin. I wish I was back in New York where I have my friends, my wingman, and going out alone helps me to get into the good clubs, not stops me.

Notes

-I remind myself that nights of shitty emotions tend to lead to growth.
-Going to focus heavily on learning German and not invest so much of my self image in pickup.
-Berghain again tonight. If I keep trying I know I’ll get in.
-I need a wingman.

September 3rd, 2016

About last night. I went to Berghain, which has a reputation for being one of the toughest clubs to get into in the world. I don’t want to brag, but it’s not bragging if it’s the truth. I’m waiting in line at Berghain for the very first time and I have a solid feeling that I’m going to get in. I’m dressed in black, feeling confident, and ready. The girls in front of me get in and now it’s my turn. I go up to the bouner and he looks at me. “Sind Sie allein?” he says (are you alone?). I say yeah and he nods. This is the worst part, just standing there being judged, but I take it well. A few seconds later with a smile and a quick gesture, this wizened bouncer points in the opposite direction of the entrance and says “sorry, not tonight” and waves me away. So I’ll have to try again tonight lol.

I went to the Kreuzberg bridge and looked at another club that’s supposed to be great, but it was still warming up (at almost 1am, you crazy slut Berlin) and so after a nice man offered me some pot and cocaine, I left and went to the tourist club. It was a shit show, kind of like the 18+ bar in college. Thankfully they had one area with techno and the DJ was great.

Didn’t want to approach, bitch brain, blah blah blah. So I pick out an 8, grab her hand, spin her, she smiles, looks at me, and tells me to leave her alone.

Go back to the techno area feeling good about myself. There’s a 9 in there who has turned down 6 guys in a row asking her to dance. They’re all idiots. You don’t ask a girl to dance, you just dance with her. I grab her hand, spin her, and we start dancing. We look at each other and just laugh. I know she has a boyfriend who she’s been talking to every five minutes, she knows I know, but we dance some anyways. It’s really fun and it feels good because all these other guys have no idea how to dance with a girl (just like me 2 months ago) but it’s definitely a skill to be learned.

That’s it though. I dance some more and go home. I wish I had a wingman, although I may end up doing this whole 30 day challenge alone. I’m setting a rule for myself. One more girl every night. First night was one, last night was two, that means tonight I have to open a minimum of three sets. Easy, I just have to set my mind to it. I’ll try to get into Berghain again, and if I get rejected I’ll go to that other club I should have gone to last night.

Notes

-So many chodes at the club last night. I say, as if I’m some pimp god who didn’t just spend 98% of his time dancing alone.
-The nightlife scene in Berlin is sick. It makes NYC look like amateur hour.
-How many times will I have to go to Berghain, and get rejected, before they let me in? Anything under 6 rejections and I won’t even care.
-Building momentum. Give me a week or two and I’ll be back to crushing it.
-Where are the guy who like night game in Berlin?

September 2nd, 2016

Time for a 30 day challenge in Berlin, let’s do it!

Last night my bitch brain was acting up. I was just in Denmark for a week where I didn’t talk to anyone. I read a lot, worked a lot, walked a lot, and meditated a lot. It was an indelible experience, but also it killed my momentum. So what’s the healthiest, sanest, most respectable way to overcome momentum issues and get into it quickly?

Drink beer!

You can drink on the street in Germany so I walked to the club with a beer. I’m standing outside finishing it when a guy and a girl from Belgium start talking to me. We head into the club together, get some beers and talk. But I get into the music, they’re obviously about 700% less comfortable being in a loud, wacky club than I am, and they leave without saying goodbye.

I’m just dancing drinking beer when a girl comes up and starts dancing right by me. This my thought: who the fuck does she think she is? I’m amazing, is she good enough for me? I decide to completely ignore her. In my experience 93% of the time when a girl is dancing by you in a club it’s just an accident. But that 7% of the time… She comes back, I ignore her again. She’s arguably the cutest girl in the club (out of like 5 girls, it’s dead) but I’m like fuck this, I’m awesome. Finally the third time she comes up, stands right by me, and starts immitating the exact dance move I’m doing. That’s pretty funny so I grab her hand, spin her, and we start dancing.

She’s Italian, and she thinks I’m a local German because I look like a boss and am totally comfortable in this wacky club that’s a bit intimidating. Then I make a mistake. Her friend is there, and I want to just say a few words to befriend her, but she latches on, the cute girls disappears like a drug dealer when the cops come, and I’m talking to the friend. She’s not even that bad looking, just sort of odd. She won’t look me in the eye and other things. We talk for twenty minutes, I’m doing an awesome job moving her, but finally she goes to look for her friend and I just leave.

So that was my first night in Berlin. One for the record books. A night of weird sets. Whatever, it’s a start, and I got out of the house even though my bitch brain was on high alert. Tonight I’ll try to get into some real clubs. Stay tuned..

Notes

-When befriending the friend, be careful not to get stuck with her.
-That vibe of screening a girl hardcore and asking “who the fuck is she” worked fantastic last night.
-Going out is fun, why oh why does my brain fight with me so hard on it sometimes?
-What would Tyler do?

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