Out in Black

Learning Game: Reports from the Field

Tag: Date

Stupid Bullshit on a Saturday

Last night was annoying. I met up with this girl that I knew from my friend’s Halloween party. We made out at the party but last night she wouldn’t even kiss me. We danced, talked and it was sort of fun. Mostly though I was pissed. Every time I took action to make shit happen she would back off and take this fucking moral high ground. Like I’m not that type of girl, sex is dirty, aren’t you ashamed of yourself for indulging in that kind of thinking?

So fucking frustrating. None the less, I took it as a challenge. How much can I make happen, how well I can maintain my awesomeness even in the face of so much bullshit? I asked her to bounce to another bar with me. She refused. Change plans, let’s go get pizza. She agrees. By the time we’re done eating her overprotective friends have called her four times. What a fucking turnoff, I love independent people who do what they want. I seed the pull by asking to see her goldfish. I get her walking to the subway with me. I get her down into the station. She refuses to go any further. I say,

Come on. We just need to practice swiping our cards. Let’s go.”

But that’s the furthest she goes. Still refuses to kiss me. I say,

Are you sure, this is your last chance.”

She looks at me funny. I say OK, walk away, the night is over. She texts me later, ignored. Done. The whole experience was fucking annoying. I feel like I wasted a Saturday night.


*Didn’t totally waste the night. I practiced leading and got a girl to follow me who was giving me nothing but shit. That shows that girls words and actions are often very different. Well, we all know that. It reaffirms it.

*I’m keen on figuring out how the fuck I can avoid ever being in this situation again. It’s a bit tricky right, because sometimes a girl can be cold and giving you shit in the beginning but over time you warm her up and end up pulling. Or, maybe she never warms up and the whole experience is bullshit. I hope that this “date” taught me some of the signs of it’s never going to happen.

*This whole week I was really good about leading and getting girls out of the bar. Tuesday I got a girl out on the sidewalk and pushed hard for the close, Friday I bounced a girl to a new bar and probably would have pulled if the friend had left, last night I got an annoying and reluctant girl to the subway station.

A Day Two in LES then Back to Hers

I had a solid feeling about the girl from Friday night and it ended up working out. I met her after work and we went to a few different bars in LES. Then we took the train way up to her place in Washington Heights. I was all for jumping into bed but she thought it would be better if we showered together. So we did that and it was fun. Then we jumped into bed and used some condoms. I got almost no sleep, we hooked up again this morning and then I left. Fantastic experience, it was the best ONS sex I’ve had since I started game and she gave me a blowjob that blew my mind. Some thoughts on what happened.


*After growing up with my sister for 18 years I developed this basic theory that 100% of the time whatever a girl says she means the opposite. This is a joke in some ways, but if you actually lived your entire life by this maxim you would probably be right more often than you are wrong. Anyways, when you’re in that zone with a girl where sex is looking close, she’ll often say things like,

We’re not hooking up tonight” or “I won’t bring you home” or if she really wants to test you she’ll say something like “You think you’re cool but it’s just funny because you’re not getting laid tonight.”

Again, refer to the rule I mentioned above. She means the opposite, she’s just giving you some bullshit. The proper thing is to ignore or make a joke out of it. If she gets into your head with it then you lose and she really won’t sleep with you. If you logically try to debate her then you lose and she really won’t sleep with you. My girl gave me two or three of these nags and I shrugged them off, joked about it, and then we went home and hooked up.

*First time in my life I’ve slept with two different women on two back-to-back weekends. Both were Jewish, both I met in LES, both live in Washington Heights only 10 blocks from each other. What are the odds..

*If you’re going out and you don’t have condoms on you you’re doing something wrong. You’re basically telling yourself: I’m not going to get laid, there’s no chance. Why don’t you just stay in and jerk off if that’s how you feel about it? Game works but it does require some self-belief.

Walking Across the Brooklyn Bridge with Julie

Today I went on a date with Julie who I met last Tuesday. I hardly ever go on dates so I was nervous. When out at the bar I see a girl and then talk to her, no time for anxiety. But with a date I have all day to think about it and psych myself out. Julie is cute too, not the cutest girl I’ve ever slept with, but probably the cutest I’ve ever gone on a date with. We spent about two hours together and I have some thoughts on it.

  • My texting to get her on the date was good. I watched a texting program and took a few valuable lessons from it. Like this: when you set up the date beforehand, keep it vague. So for this, we said “Saturday evening”. Then, when Saturday rolls around, you text to set up a time “7 PM” which also serves to establish that the date is still on. Whereas if you agree upon an exact time and place early in the week, than you have to chode yourself out by confirming the meetup the day of.
  • Meeting up I went for the handshake first which I really didn’t want, I wanted a hug in order to get physical immediately. I awkwardly did the hug, it wasn’t great. Better next time.
  • Our date was walking across the Brooklyn bridge together, and as we did it I could feel her warming up to me. She was a bit cold and logical in the beginning but it got better over time. What really made her attracted was when I told stories. At the end of the night I told her a story about driving my motorcycle and she melted, it was powerful to see.
  • I never tried to kiss her till the last moments. I’m torn on this. My intuition was telling me that it was better to wait to go for the kiss, but I don’t have a lot of experience here and my intuition may be faulty. The entire date was very smooth, but I realize that’s not an indication of “good” either. I’m going to be thinking about this a lot, but I think that if I could repeat it, I would go for the kiss earlier. I never really “saw” a good opportunity, but what needs to happen is that I make one.
  • At the end I invited her back to my place to watch a movie. She declined. When I did finally go for the kiss at the end of the date she wouldn’t do it. She had some excuse or another. She was giving me multiple signs that she was into me and attracted though, so not 100% sure what’s going on. I definitely plan to see her again and when we do finally sleep together, I plan to ask her exactly what she was feeling and why she wouldn’t kiss. I’m very curious to discover her thinking.
  • This being my first date since the dinosaurs were alive, and this being the cutest girl I’ve ever gone on a date with, I’m thrilled with how it went. I feel like I learned a lot. More than just that, I had a lot of fun! It was an enjoyable way to spend a Saturday evening, I should do this more often.
  • I’m going to get very good at game. I have 0 doubts, I’ve had 0 doubts for months but experiences like this reinforce it. Learning game may be an emotional skill, but I can still see parallels to learning a language. Anyone can do it, you just have to put in the time.

Failing to Live Up to My Potential

I don’t have good things to say about tonight. I went to the club, stayed for half an hour, opened two sets,  left. My immediate response is to feel shitty about myself but I don’t think that the long term implications of doing so are productive. I think it’s better to say something like learned a lesson, going home after only doing two bad sets feels like hell. Next time stick it out, do more. It’s a long train ride back when you feel like you didn’t give it everything you have.

I can say that the club sucked though. Lots of dudes. I probably would have opened more if there were just more sets to open. So partially the environment but I’ll take 80% of the responsibility. This means that tomorrow I have to go out and do better. I’m meeting up with my wingman for some Meatpacking antics and I expect good things. Let’s rock.


*Biggest takeaway: I still have to follow my rules for a good night. I didn’t open within the first ten minutes and my night went shitty because of it. I need to open quickly to establish a good night, especially on nights like tonight when I was out of the zone to begin with.

Seeding the Pull and Motherfucking Linda

I’m going to write this right now because I figure I won’t be able to sleep anyways. It’s 3:05, just got back from the club. I had a date with the girl from Tuesday. There’s some controversy about whether taking a date to a nightclub is a good idea. I’m not at all ready to commit to an answer, but I’m leaning towards saying it’s good. Let’s see how it went for me.

Meatpacking was insane because of the awesome weather. It’s the busiest I’ve seen it in months and months. Even at 11 there’s a ten minute line at the club. I stand in it and as I’m getting close to the door my girl shows up. She looks nice! She brought her friend too. I was totally cool with this. I figured worst case is nothing sexual happens but I befriend everyone and now I have some fodder to get me into clubs. Also, I really like my girl’s friend as a human being. She’s agreeable and fun, the type of girl who would make a fantastic girlfriend.

We get whisked inside and go upstairs. They get a drink, I get water. We go up to the deck and I pull my girl in so smooth for a kiss. It was beautiful. I hadn’t kissed her on Tuesday (I lamented in that night’s report how I should have). We move downstairs and dance. She grinds on me, reaches my hands up to her boobs. I’m enjoying this. I get a boner, she dances harder. Friend leaves us alone. Then my girl tells me that Linda is coming. I’m happy. That means Linda and her other friend can vibe, everyone has someone to talk to, I can pull my girl.

I change my mind after Linda’s been there three minutes. I can’t stand this woman. She’s an empty, vain husk of a human. She’s one giant insecurity manifesting as no fun for everyone else. Even three minutes deep I can foresee that Linda is going to make the pull very, very difficult for me. I really don’t like this woman on a fundamental level, have I made that clear?

Long story short, Linda fucks up the pull. I’m dancing so well with my girl, she wants the dick. But Linda insists on them leaving together. I tell my girl to forget them, stay with me. I keep repeating it. I feel like she’s so close to saying yes but she doesn’t. She says she has to leave. I tell her I’ll text her, she kisses me goodbye, she’s gone. Now, here. I’m not sure if what I did was good. Should I have pushed harder, said something like “You might never see me again if you leave now..” I feel like that’s really going all in. This girl really likes me, wants to see me again, and I can night three her and we’ll be fucking in less than an hour. So I feel like I did OK playing it a bit safer and not totally pushing the envelope and really trying to force her to stay. But I’m not sure. I’ve literally never been in this situation in my life so I was winging it.

I open another four sets. One goes really well, looking at about a three minute makeout but two minutes in her boyfriend shows up. He’s not too pleased about the situation and I leave. I hit a wall though. It’s 2am but I’m not in a burning it to the ground mood. If there is one thing that’s not success orientated about me it’s that I don’t have that killer fucking vibe to crush it and succeed. Go fucking hard or go home! That’s not really me. I’m incredibly persistent and consistent so I get what I want but it takes me longer than someone who is persistent and has that fucking motivation to crush it so hard. If I could change my personality I would inject myself with some extra push.


1. Me and the wingman are going to a high end club tomorrow. There’s going to be a lot of girls there. I simply will not leave that club until I pull or until I’ve approached every single set twice. There is no way out of the exit except with a girl.

2. Saw an advanced level PUA giving a bootcamp, said hey to him and learned his name. Said hey to his student who I actually winged a set with last week. Saw another PUA who I met at the bar some time ago. Tried to throw him on my friend’s girl but he wasn’t interested. Today in Williamsburg I randomly ran into that girl who I met at a pool hall last, last Tuesday. NYC isn’t as big as people make it out to be.

3. My interactions are getting so much more solid. This girl who I went on a date with tonight, she was enthusiastic to meet up with me! I met her at a bar and got her number at a bar. My first 8 months in game about 102% of the numbers I got were fucking useless. Now I had a date last Friday (which fucking blew) and this Saturday (which went good apart from Linda). That’s good shit, it’s really cool to see progress like that.

4. I strive to develop that killer drive. That voice that says go hard, crush it, stick it out till the bitter end. At this point pulling is simply a numbers game. Every fifty or one hundred sets I’m going to pull. The more I do, the sooner it happens. So do more sets! I cannot possibly tell how a set will go by just looking at it.

5. I really enjoy pickup. It’s fun! Hell of a hobby to have.

6. I was actually scared to seed the pull last night. It took me ten minutes to work up the nerve to ask:

Do you like awesome pizza?”

Yeah, I do.” She answers.

There’s an awesome pizza place in Williamsburg. I’m pretty hungry, I’d like to go there with you.”

Is there any fucking logical reason to feel nervous saying that? None at all. It’s simply the fact that doing unknown things makes you nervous. Once you do something you don’t get anxiety from it. That’s how I look at game. I’m desensitizing myself to all of these things until the point where picking up models is simple and easy. For now, I’m getting used to going on dates. This is newish territory for me.

A Successful Night Two

I mentioned the girl from last Friday who I pulled from the bar in Williamsburg but she wouldn’t have sex because she was on her period. I obviously got her number and set up a date. I’ve never had a girl so enthusiastic to see me again. It was obviously a we’re going to fuck situation too and I think she was really happy about that. So that’s what happened. We planned to go to a funky club in Bushwick last night but we never made it. We got Chipotle, ate it in my kitchen, then I wanted to show her something on my laptop in my bedroom. That was that, she was great in bed.

So I got laid but I essentially learned nothing. Success rarely teaches the lessons, failure does. I’ve got another date tonight. Taking the girl I met on Tuesday to the club in Meatpacking. Solid choice because I love it there and they have the best bathrooms to fuck in of any club that I’ve ever been to. Ideally I’d prefer to pull back to my house and have sex there, but if it’s bathrooms or nothing I’ll choose the bathrooms. We’ll see what happens.

July 24th, 2016

Yesterday was perhaps the most interesting date of my life. It’s the second time I’ve gone out with this girl and I really thought I was going to get laid. We talk about sex a lot, among other things, and it was implied she was coming back with me tonight. But her friend from London was coming in the next day and she didn’t want to come back with me. Which also has something to do with my awful logistical situation, I live on the other end of Manhattan from her, nearly two and a half hours away.

In any case, even though I left the date feeling weird, disappointed, and frustrated, it was still a good learning experience. She said several interesting things. After I drank a few beers I started getting more physical with her. She shut down some and said she didn’t like that because it seemed to her like something I do with all girls, and it made her feel like she wasn’t special. That’s some solid girl logic, but that doesn’t mean it’s wrong. It’s something to keep in mind.

We also talked a lot about assholes. Most of her life she has gone for assholes, they make up most of the men she’s been with. I’m confident and outgoing, but most definitely not an asshole. Right now at least. So we spoke up about why is she even attracted to me if I don’t meet the typical standards for her? This, I can assure you, is a surreal conversation to have. You’re on a date with a girl, three beers deep, talking about what exactly she’s attracted to, why you don’t fit that criteria, but why she likes you anyways, and why she would find you more attractive none the less. Compare that to talking about music or some shit. Mind melting stuff.

So that was last night. Do I go out with her a third time? That’s a decision I have to make. Does she even want to see me again, despite all the times she told me how much she likes me? Our “relationship” is like a rubicks cube that I’m not sure I even want to solve.


-There are so many types of girls that drawing comparisons is virtually useless.
-This girl unlocked a little bit of my inner asshole last night. My asshole side is still a wee baby, but I’m feeding it and letting it grow. Developing it will allow me to become more attractive to a wider range of girls.
-Situations like these force you to question what you really want in life.
-Never has anyone made out more in a movie theater then I did with this girl last night.
-I think that I’ve taken the red pill.

July 17th, 2016

Amazing date last night, I had so much fun! This girl told me about the crazy sex she likes, a manwhore she knows in London who organized a 5 girl gangbang for his birthday, spreader bars, and lots of other interesting things. All in all it was a very lively four hours we spent together. Ended the night at the club with me dancing on the sofa in between making out with her.

She has a really strong personality and she pushed me too. It forced me to bring out my best. And I did, I maintained my state, passed multiple shit tests, and she found me very attractive. We’re going to meet up next weekend and I will get laid, I say with as much certainty as is possible, given that shit can and will always happen. It maybe would have happened last night but the logistics are horrible. We live on opposite ends of NYC, three hours apart, it’s gross.


-Free association is king.
-My eye contact is amazing.
-Going out every night, I don’t think it’s possible to not make progress.
-I love the game. I’m hooked.

July 11th, 2016

Last night ended differently than I thought it would. I met up with my girl for drinks, we had a good time, but then she wouldn’t let me come over. I don’t know whether it’s because she had to work the next day, or because I did something wrong, or what. That definitely affected me though, I felt down and embarrassed to be honest. So I went to a dive bar and drank two Bud Lites. Then I bought a chocolate Sunday from McDonalds and talked to a cop in Union Square for twenty minutes. I got his take on the recent events that are firming up my belief that I don’t want to spend my life in America.

The day was not a total write-off though. Before meeting up with girl I opened two sets in Meatpacking. They both were going good but I ejected. I felt like I was taking up their time and not offering value. I felt incongruent. However, I believe that in time this will go away and I’ll feel good staying in longer. At any rate, I was pleased that I opened these sets alone and I didn’t need my wing man. I really am going to have to train myself to open a lot of sets alone though. I can’t depend on having someone there.


-Expecting to get laid, then being told you can’t come over sucks. I rarely take rejections personally, but I took that personally.
-Going out is a habit, which makes it easy. Someone asks me are you going to be out next Saturday? I don’t even have to think, the answer is automatically yes.
-I feel about 6% more congruent talking about absolute bullshit. Now, to get that last stubborn 94% down.
-I’m drinking less than normal, even though I’m at a bar or club every single night.
-Rule: if I make eye contact with a girl I have to walk up and open her.

June 19th, 2016

Yesterday was interesting. I had a date with a girl who was several magnitudes less attractive than I thought. One of those deals where you see a girl waking around, looking for someone, and you’re like oh my goodness I hope that’s not her. Well it was her. So I got the date over with and I will be much more careful in the future.

Being in Manhattan I decided that even though I had a date I should probably still do an approach. I go to my favorite dive bar. My plan is to drink a beer then go to the Bier Garten and find a set. But there were actually cute girls at the dive bar! Never happened before. I walk up and we talk for about ten minutes. One girl goes to the bathroom, the other stays with me. She’s like how old are you, I’m like twenty-four. She says I don’t believe you, show me your license. I say, if I do and I’m not lying, you have to kiss me. In retrospect I can see that this was a totally retarded thing to say. But at the moment it seemed smart. Well that pretty much ended that set. I’m never saying that again. It seems like something from the movies, I don’t even know. Lesson learned.

I have to say that I’m feeling a lot less fear now. When I first started it was fear of approaching. Then it shifted into the fear that I wouldn’t find a girl, or I wouldn’t have the courage to approach. Now that’s dying, and I’m feeling more balanced and normal. That’s awesome, fuck the irrational fear!


-Asking a girl on a date who you’re not attracted to is stupidity.
-Asking a girl for a kiss is (in most situations) a poor idea. Just take it.
-I’d rather get blown out for trying to kiss a girl then have the set fizzle because I’m too soft.
-I’m really happy I live in New York and can go out every night and have fun.

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