A few months ago I had an interesting experience. I was at the club with my wingman from Portugal. I had eaten some bad pizza which gave me food poisoning and I felt terrible most of the night. Finally I puked in the bathroom and immediately felt 400% better. I could have left but it was only 1 and I thought I would stay a little while longer. So I did, but I existed in an incredible state of mind. I gave no fucks about the girls, getting laid, what people thought of me, who was looking at me, nothing. My thinking came down to this: mannnnnn, I feel so much fucking better now. Food poisoning sucks, fuck that. With that mindset I opened a girl and then practically ignored her. I didn’t even care about speaking to her. The result was that she chased me and pulled me to the dance floor. We made out. I still didn’t give a flying fuck. I probably could have pulled her but I didn’t even care to. I just got her number and left. In the next week she texted me twice and wanted to hang out. What’s so exceptional about this experience is that she was doing all this based on a five minute interaction. I’ve had dozens of five minute interactions where I’ve gotten the number and never has a girl texted me like that, wanting to hang out.
Looking back I can see that single moment as the time when I was arguably the most attractive to women I’ve ever been. I was so in my own world, so detached from any outcome, that she was chasing me and badly wanted to be with me. In one of his many field reports Distant Light talked about this same thing. He mentioned a time (when he was getting good) where he hit this zone and weeks later the women he met while in that headspace were still calling him and wanting to meet up. For me this really just hammers home the idea that there’s a higher level to pickup where interactions are effortless and “game” is 500% easier. I don’t think getting food poisoning every night is the solution. In fact I don’t know how to consistently reach that point, so all I can do is place faith that by internalizing certain philosophies and going out a lot I can make it happen. This leads to the next point.
Letting go of the Outcome
This is a slippery concept. It’s so fucking easy to write on paper and even logically explain. Just go up to the girl and don’t care what happens. Yeah, swell. Thanks for that valuable fucking insight, I’ll be sure to keep it in mind.
Sarcasm aside I do keep it in mind, and I know it, but I don’t live it. For me it’s a way of thinking, not being. I consistently want the interaction to go well. I want the makeout, I want the validation, I want to pull so that I can have sex and then write about it here and feel like I’m winning at pickup. And yet, the best guys say that you get to be the best by letting go of the outcome. I believe them and I strive for it. However, I’m not sure I’ll be able to think myself through this one. I think the real internalization will come from nothing short of massive infield experience. Mentally difficult nights like my times at here, here, and here also hammer it home. Getting rejected over and over and over leaves you two options. Quit pickup (not really an option) or let it all go. Let go of expectations, of a craving for results, of a craving for anything. Let it fucking go and just be.
I’m taking baby steps towards the direction of becoming a promoter. The major reasoning behind this decision is fairly straightforward: it will provide maximum crazy experience. Based on my own values promoting sounds like a fascinating thing to do, as opposed to working in an office or even freelancing, which is not all that rewarding. Also, promoting goes hand in hand with game. The better my game is, the hotter girls I can bring out, the more money I’ll make. The more I do daygame, the more girls I bring out, the more money I make. This is like having 2x power. I’m getting paid to get better at game. That’s killer, it’s the same as how I get paid to write. Making money to get better at a skill you care about = #DoubleWinning.
So what’s the path look like? Right now I know one promoter. We’ve had fun together and there’s some connection there. He hosts five or six nights a week at various venues across the city and he’s told me that anytime I have at least one cute girl who likes to party I can hit him up and come through wherever he is. At first that’s just what it’ll be, coming through. But as my game gets better in the coming months I’ll be bringing out girls more consistently (twice a week, three times a week, four times a week) and I’ll also start bringing out multiple girls a week. Once I’m consistently doing that he’s told me that I can start earning more money every night sub-promoting for him. Finally, once I’m consistently bringing out three to four decent looking girls a night I’ll be able to get my own table. I figure I can probably be at this point by the end of this year. From there I can host once or twice a week, then even more, until I’m making enough money to pay rent. Then I quit my job and focus on promoting full time. Which essentially means hosting and doing daygame.
There are obviously detriments here like the golden handcuffs (you’re not supposed to fuck the girls you bring out), you have to go to the same nightclubs all the time and listen to the same music, you may find some of the other people to be unintelligent and having nothing going for them outside of this narrow area, and all sorts of other things. But I’ve already looked at this closely and I believe the pros outweigh the cons. I think there’s great potential, and even if I don’t like it and decide to quit, I’ll lose very little. Being a good promoter aligns about 80% with learning game which is just fine in my book.
Finally, it’s interesting to note that one of my most consistent wingman has started his own blog, which you can check out here. He’s also in this to become a promoter. He has an advantage in that he’s heavily connected with the nightlife industry in NYC already, but I have the advantage in that I go out more than him so I have a chance to meet more women and improve faster. All in all we’re in similar places and you could easily find both of us making a living promoting one year from now.
Discovering Momentous Shifts
I often get the feeling that there is a massive paradigm shift that I’m missing. I feel like I could be doing so much better than I already am with just a few simple tweaks. This bugs the shit because I hate the idea of “wasting time” by doing all these approaches in an ineffective manner.
But then again I may be overthinking this. I’ve heard stories about guys who crush it now who didn’t pull for the first couple years they were in game. I hear stories of guys who took years to get very good at this. But the way my brain works I disregard this information. Instead, I look at people like Distant Light who was able to reach a very, very high level in less than two years. What behaviors and beliefs do they have that I can mimic, what am I missing? I muse over these questions on a daily basis.