Back in my shitty cow-town. Not going out. There’s two bars here. Each has a diverse crowd of hardcore alcoholics, wrinkled women over 40, and men whose dreams died decades ago. If you live in a small town like this you can’t learn game. You have to move to a big city. Even if you live in a smaller city, you should still move to a big city. On an average Saturday in New York, Berlin, Vegas or Miami you can do approximately unlimited approaches. If you can’t say the same thing about the place you live, it’s time to call the movers.
2017 will be the year that I get good at game. I plan on making massive progress this year. I plan on becoming very grounded and capable of holding a strong frame under intense scrutiny. I plan on pulling regularly, making a lot of female friends, expanding my social circle, and gaining semi-regular access to some of the better clubs in New York. I also plan on making the occasional $50 here and there by helping out my promoter buddy. Some thoughts on all this.
1. True Change
Even after seven months of nearly continuous game, it was only in the last couple of weeks that I really felt like I experienced the first inkling of deep, identify level change. Change that sticks with me, that is not situational, that will be a part of who I am for life. I thought that I would change more in that time but I guess that’s not the case. I can easily approach and keep a conversation going, but I haven’t experienced a monumental shift in who I am. I attribute that to a lack of..
The more I go out, the more I realize that nothing brings growth but experience. No videos or books will ever give significant change unless they are acted on. In particular, I look at some of my worst nights as the ones that have contributed the most to my growth. Living through these experiences, coming back the next day and having fun, that teaches you that bad shit happens but it’s not permanent.
3. Understanding What’s Possible
Even though I’ve known about game for years, I’m still learning about female dynamics. Great example. My mentor pulled three girls back to his living room. He pulled one into the bedroom and fucked her while the other two sat on the couch. When he finished, she went back to the couch, he went out into the living room, grabbed the next girl, pulled her to the bedroom and fucked her. When he finished he had her go back to the couch, pull the third girl into the bedroom, then he fucked her too.
I’m an open minded guy but there must still be parts of me stuck in the Matrix because I here that and think holy fuck! Women will do that? Like the third girl doesn’t care that he just fucked the other two and is now out for her? It seems crazy to me. But maybe it’s not. That’s just the way it is. Learning this opens you up to new possibilities. It helps you to realize what females are cool with and everything that’s possible. This is big, and also not entirely pleasant. It forces you to change all of your existing beliefs that you’ve spent 20+ years forming. Basically it shows you that most things society tells you about male to female dynamics are fucking bullshit. It’s a good realization to have, but it’s also sort of jarring.
4. Going for the Pull
I’ve often said that I’m interested in the 20% of actions that bring the 80% of results. Right now, all of the following are good enough:
* Voice Projection
* Conversation Skills
* Eye Contact
To actively focus on making any of these better would only bring marginally better results. However, the big three that are not good enough are:
* Going for the Pull
* Dealing with Objections
If I want to start pulling consistently (and I do) these are what I must focus on. All of the pulls I’ve gotten so far have been low hanging fruit. Great logistics, friends who didn’t care, minimal challenges. That’s fine, but it’s not a consistent way to pull and it doesn’t give the number of pulls that I want. In order to pull multiple times a week I’m going to have to get very good at leading, dealing with objections as I lead, and then forcing the pull. That’s what is going to get me laid like a movie star. These are what I’m going to be focusing on in 2017. Even if it means messing up a set, even if it means embarrassing myself, even if it means looking like a fucking retard, I’m going to lead and I’m going to make the pull happen. So important, so crucial.
5. Pushing my Comfort Zone
Thankfully I am good at this. I strive to do things that scare me. That’s my goal every single night when I go out. Thank god it is, because it’s the only way to get better. Approaching used to be scary, now it’s easy. Mixed sets used to be scary, now they’re fairly normal. And so on. In 2017 I’ll have to push through even more comfort zones if I hope to get good. I’ll have to put myself into many uncomfortable situations until they become normal. In my experience, that’s the best fast track to growth.
And that’s all I have to say. A few more days in my cow-town then I’ll go down to Miami Beach for New Years and complete a 10 day challenge. Out every night. New lessons, new wingmen, new girls. Life is awesome when you live it on your own terms!